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A&K

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About A&K

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Not Telling
  • Location (city, state)
    Norwich, CT

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Mother, oldest son and three baby girls.
  • Date of Death
    Mom 1/9/15 too difficult to put dates of children’s deaths. :(
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  1. Thanks ladies. I’m not really angry anymore. I just am sad and broken that Our son Has to face these challenges now and the rest of his life. Mental illness is no joke. And obviously runs in family with both of Allen’s parents. Thank you for your kindness as always. Allen and I had a session with Caleb at the hospital today.
  2. Caleb is inpatient again at Yale children’s hospital because he self harmed himself. His bipolar and depression is super bad again. My husband and I are so angry that God has put our sweet boy through this agony. He needs to get stable enough to return home. It just breaks my heart. On top of the psych issues he doesn’t understand why his Grammy and Grampy died and his big brother and little sisters. We are all heartbroken. 💔😢 Katie.
  3. Thank you Marty for your warm words. ❤️
  4. My mother heart is breaking. Lily Lila Gracie and Noah should be here. I am their Momma and I couldn’t save them. My loves. 💔😢.
  5. Yes Ry looks very much like Gracie. It sometimes hurts to see so much of her in him. But at the same time what an honor. He will know about his big sisters. All three of them. And all about Noah. Allen and I will make certain of that. Allen is back with us at the house. I am working on forgiveness and we are starting counseling next week. It’s a difficult feat. Caleb is doing well with his therapy.
  6. I think when I get back home I will try therapy with Allen. I don’t want a divorce. It’s just hard to forgive and trust him.
  7. Yes I’m with my parents Kay. Caleb is actually doing pretty well and stable. Thank God because I’m not doing well. The kids are enjoying being in Florida
  8. I haven’t posted in a while. First I should tell you that Allen and I are separated due to his infidelity. I don’t think I want divorce. He said he’d do therapy so I may do that. I have Caleb and Ryan. We are actually in Florida right now on a getaway. Ive been missing Noah and Gracie immensely lately. No more than ordinarily just it’s hurting a lot. Ryan is reminding me so much like Gracie and Caleb reminds me of Noah. No one should have to lose a child. Never mind four children. I’m just hurting a lot right now. I want to sink in a hole and hide. Not get out of bed. I guess its normal. Katie
  9. Allen has chosen to leave me for a while. He’s still seeing Caleb and Ryan but he says he can’t be around me right now. Says it’s not me. But it sure feels like it’s my fault. My priority is to make sure our boys are thriving. Allen is not thriving. And I don’t know how to fix my husband whom I love more than words. I asked him tonight if he loves me and his reply was I’m not sure. 😢 If grief does this to families I hate it. Grief killed my FIL and it’s tried to destroy my son’s spirit. And it’s ruining my marriage. I HATE GRIEF.
  10. Thank you. I’m trying to give Allen the space he needs. I keep asking what he needs. And he says he doesn’t know. Just space. I’m ok. I mean I have friends and my parents. Allen and Caleb are bonding a lot right now. That’s a positive thing for both.
  11. Thanks Kay. Caleb is doing great. He’s very attached to Ryan and to his daddy. He wants to go back to public school. We are going to respect his decision.
  12. Allen is a very angry man right now. Rightfully so. But he quit therapy. I can’t force him to go back. He works comes home plays with Caleb and Ryan and puts them to bed. But with me he’s rigid cold and angry. I know it was my fault Noah died. Maybe it’s my fault the girls and Gracie died because I didn’t carry them long enough. But that was not in my hands. He gets upset at my fear and sadness. I know his anger is stemming from finding his Dad dead. But yesterday was six months since Gracie died. 💔😢
  13. These are recent pics of Ryan. He looks and acts just like Gracie did. He touches my soul with so much joy. However I’m so terrified of losing him like we lost Gracie. I thought you’d enjoy seeing him. In all his elements. PS— he loves spaghetti 😜 Katie
  14. Thank you ladies for your kind words and understanding. KarenK I’m so sorry you too lost a child. I’m so very sorry. Allen knows he can’t fix things or my heart. He is helpless to fix any of the agony. But he takes after his Dad in that respect. 😢
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