Lyla, I just posted my story and know almost exactly how you feel. Everything you have I said I can relate to completely. We want to be there when they’re somewhat healed, but don’t know if they will still want us. All of my friends and even his family have said it’s best to focus on myself and move on. I don’t want to and don’t know what to do. Anytime I’m alone for more than five minutes I just start crying thinking about the ending of everything we had. He too said very meaningful things to me about our future but that was before his mom passed. Now he acts like he has no connection to me and that what we had didn’t mean anything to him. I know grief can take over and people really aren’t themselves when it happens but I also said I would be there for him through this and he doesn’t want me to. He has two brothers and they both have SO’s that are helping them through this. I was very much a part of their family for the time we dated and sat with the family during the memorial service. Now that he’s done with the relationship, I’m left to grieve his mother and our relationship on my own. All this to say, you’re definitely not alone and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I know first hand how much it sucks.
Halle posted a topic in Loss of a Love RelationshipMy now ex boyfriend’s mother recently passed. With the worsening of her cancer, he became more and more detached and asked for a break from the relationship with intentions on getting back together soon. We dated for 2 years and were on the break for a few months but were still talking and seeing each other. Our relationship started when we were in high school and continued on through college. Towards the end of her life, we would visit his mom together in hospice and the hospital. His mom and I were very close, and she always said I would be her daughter no matter what happened with our relationship. She was the best listener and always had comforting words when her son and I were at odds. When she passed, he said that he couldn’t be in any type of relationship anymore. I was obviously heartbroken but understood the situation. He apologized for it causing me any pain and said that he hoped we would be together when he is ready. We have clicked from the beginning and truly had a great friendship beyond the romantic aspect of dating. We have always talked about marriage and even looked at rings together. When he ended things, he said that he knows deep down I’m the one he needs to be with but that he just can’t be with me right now. The same day he told me this, he started seeing someone else. She and I were acquaintances and they went to high school together. I found out through him posting her on his social media, knowing that I would see it. I gave the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe they were just friends catching up. He and I live a street apart and I see her car there. He continues to make it known on social media that he’s spending time with her. I have to wonder if this is personal to me, or if he’s trying to distract himself from grieving his mother’s passing. I know it’s not uncommon for SO’s to shut people out during a time like this, but I have to wonder if he is serious about her and was just appeasing me when he said we are supposed to be together. His mom and I were very similar so it’s possible being with me is a bad reminder of his loss. I just don’t know what to do because this is very hard for me to sit back and watch happen when we had such a deep relationship before. I am heartbroken from the loss of the woman who was my second mother, but just crushed by him moving on so quickly.