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Rldownes

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    12
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About Rldownes

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Nj

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Spouse
  • Date of Death
    05/17/15
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Na

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  1. I am so sorry for your loss , as much as I hate what brought you hear an glad you found this group it is full of people who understand what you are feeling, I lost my husband 2 years ago suddenly to a drug overdose , unless someone has lost their significant other they will never understand, and I have stopped expecting them to I honestly feel bad for some one who does understand because it is a long hard lonely road sometimes, as far as fixing yourself you are not broken you don't have a disease no one has the right to tell you how to grieve or the right to tell you you should be getting over it we all have our own grief journey, we will have this loss for the rest if our lives, the hope is that in time the pain gets less, the tears flow less, we learn to smile at their memory instead of just crying, we learn to live again with them in our hearts but all that takes time, this is the perfect site to voice all your feeling and know you truly are not alone in your journey hugs
  2. Today is almost over it was a mixture of emotions, me and my daughter went to see Kevins mother we haven't seen her in almost a year I thought she would like to see someone on our side of the family it was nice believe it or not no tears shed there we just talked about everything from past to present, I went from crying in morning to just feeling empty, to feeling happy , just another typical day of grief, just another new normal day , thank you for the article Marty it makes so much sense and I totally relate, my daughter wanted to sit around and listen to sad music all day I told her I didn't want to sit around and cry all day that I don't need a special day to cry , I did listen to some music and yes shed some tears I felt she needed it but I didn't want to cry all day, so made it through another year with many more to come but slowly learning that holidays, marker days , everyday is the same I must live without Kevin physically now, no day is truly anyworse hugs to all
  3. Tomorrow is going to be hard it is the two year mark of Kevin's passing am already preparing myself for the fact that tomorrow will be a hard day luckily have off tomorrow I hate this day the day that changed my life forever that robbed me of my soulmate, this is the one day out of the year that will always bring pain, and sorrow, I keep telling myself you will get through it Robin you get through everyday it just sucks and hurts,
  4. Rldownes

    Time

    Thank you Marty
  5. I know exactly how you are feeling,I am sure he is smiling down on that new qrandbaby , even though not physically here Kevin is was most definitely there with you sharing in the love of a new life,my daughter had her second child a year ago first one alone for me to so biter sweet, enjoy her hugs!!
  6. Rldownes

    I will always REMEMBER

    Song by Lean Rimes called Please Remember how could I ever forget
  7. Rldownes

    If Only Tears Could Bring You back

    Thank you for sharing Steve you helped me so much in learning how to push on through all the tears and sorrow , in learning that happiness can exist with sorrow from now on it always will.
  8. Feeling a little better today sad but no tears these last few days have been s true test of me to keep moving forward would be do much easier to just slip back into the darkness and hide there but that's not me I can't let my losing Kevin consume my entire life again, I know I will always feel loss and empty at times but I can't stop living or loving because of it he wouldn't want me to hurt so much. He always tried to protect me from things that would hurt me , like you Kayc so much going on in my family that Kevin would have an answer for, he was the glue, well time to see what the day holds for me. I know for whatever reason I can never give up gotta keep fighting on breath at a time hugs to all
  9. Last night I started reading my old posts trying to see how far I have come since this journey started a few weeks ago I would have said have come so far but lately I feel exactly like that hurt,lonely empty person again, I feel like was just told the horrible news, I haven't really had any signs in forever from Kevin kind felt like he left me he always used to use butterflies, about 2 days ago I was listening to the song I posted if only tears could bring you back crying my heart out a blue Jay came into the tree right next to me and was talking , I can't shake it this time just keep missing him and what we had, I listen to the music and just feel an empty bottomless hole in my heart,I feel exactly like the woman who come here two years ago it really sucks to be living this life none of of wanted or asked for, I just miss him sooo much 😢
  10. Thank you Kayc yes it is hard to be doing so good then feel like day one all over again, I learned that no matter how far I come I still need people who understand it was hard though coming back I know a lot of people who come on here are just starting the journey and its hard for them to understand trying to find love again while dealing with the feelings of loss I couldn't picture it two years ago. I can't seem to shake the grief wave on day 4 I try to just be around my family and grand babies when it hits because they tend to make me feel better, just gotta ride it out and know we are not our thoughts or feelings and it will pass
  11. Hello found a song that expresses how I feel about my tears and Kevin please listen it is by Midnight Boys called If Only Tears Could Bring You Back
  12. Hi everyone it has been awhile since been on here I had to make a new account forgot old log in info, for anyone who does not remember me I came on here lost, empty,lonely and hopeless after my husband passed away I never thought I could exist without him we were together 26 years and had 7 grandbabies I now have an eight Kevin never got yo meet , everyone took me in with open arms and helped me to go through this endless grief process, I found out my husband passed away from a drug over dose and still everyone stood by me, I tried to help others when I could, this journey is hard, endless, and full of pain slowly I fell away from the site , started learning to try and live again try and be happy again even tried to find love again (which still haven't found) but I feel myself slipping backwards a lot lately feeling more bad than good days again just passed his birthday April 10 and his death date is right around the corner am sure that had a lot to do with it but think I need to be back here for a little while back with people who understand the pain
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