After 15 years of having my queensland heeler mix, Jasper, we had to let him go on May 19th, 2018. I knew when the day came this would be hard and I am just not sure I can get past it. Everyone says you will but it's been 2 weeks and I think about him all the time, I cry every day and I am just broken. Last year, due to his pancreatitis we didn't think he would last that long but he made it an additional year. I have been working from home for the last year to give him time sensitive medication. He was still eating and was alert in the end but his little body just couldn't support him. He was getting weaker and was in some pain. I still feel like I quit on him and gave up up on him. I am selfish and I want him back. I just don't know how to deal with everyday without him. I am struggling - I still wake up every night to listen for him as he would sleep in a big in our bedroom and sometimes he needed a little help during the night to get up on it. Once I wake up I find it hard to go back to sleep as I am missing him.