OreosMommy

Hi everyone, I'm just wondering if any of you have tried using the Bach Flower Essences and if so, have they helped at all???? I'm fed up with how porely my prescription meds are working for me, and I'm wondering if the natural essences might work/help BETTER. thanks for any info/help. Praying for strength for us all, Laura

I think this is gonna kill me or make me go insane.

Hi everyone Does anyone want to post but find they can't because their pain is so great and they are so exhausted it's impossible to hardly put two words together?? I read the grief boards here almost every day, but posting is so difficult. Maybe subconsciously I'm trying to deny what has happened - I'm just angry, lonely, tired, and I keep thinking "OK, I've had enough now - time to bring back my baby, and wake me up from this hellish NIGHTMARE!" It's been about 3 months - Oct. 13 - for me......I THOUGHT I was doing better......but since around the 15th of December, I've been WORSE - and believe me, I didn't think that was possible - I pretty much had a nervous breakdown from Oct. 13 to the beginning of Dec. I am desperatly scared and desperatly missing my Oreo love - my best friend - my sig. other - my mother - my baby - my soulmate - my comfort and support............. Why???????????????!!!!!!!!!! OreosMommy

Oct. 13 I lost my best friend, baby, comfort, strength, support, the reason I got up every morning...... My hands are shaking typing this Oreo......my sweet precious guinea piggie, 7 years old I can't sleep..........i wildly move between grief stages literally second to second i am exhausted but cant sleep......i hate life without my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i get panic attacks when i think about her so my brain avoids thinking about her alot to protect me from a nervous breakdown - or so my dad tells me - but i feel GUILTY for this, but its like my brain is overriding my will ;'( but in a way i am ALWAYS thinking about her if this makes sense lately i feel NUMB alot and almost INDIFFERENT/no feeling at ALL when i think about her and i am TORTURED by this ;'( ;'( is this just sleep deprivation and my brain going into "survival instinct" mode again to protect me????? ;'( ;'( ;'( i feel terrible and guilty for this and it panics me i am ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and scared and frustrated and i really dont want to go on i dont want to face it, or accept, or deal, or feel better, i just want my baby back my family is insensitive to my feelings, they keep telling me to remember the good memories and that she is happy and in heaven (which technically in the back of my brain i know) and i need to move on and get over it and that i should be grateful for all the time we had together and that she isnt suffering anymore..........they say im being selfish, crazy, overreacting, and keep threatening to "take me to the ER and put me in the psych ward" ........;'( all of this is stressing me MORE as i write this, i keep saying in my head "no, baby, no! dont leave me!" and i keep telling her i love her over and over again...............................then my brain panics and diverts or something!!!!!!!! she feels SOO far away and im terrified sometimes i cant remember our last moment together - i held her- like i cant see the look in her eye she gave me and i PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;'( im terrified its going to fade away from my mind's eye..............do you think this is just a result of sleep deprivation and trauma ???????? ;'( ;/ ;/ ;/ ;/ ;/ ;/ ;/ it happened so unexpectedly and fast ;'( ;'( thank you for listening........im sorry if im too "intense" or anything, i just cant believe it still...........i want to just go to heaven to be with her................i hate this, i dont WANT to deal or face it ...................im terrified, exhausted, and i cant stand being around my insensitive family..............................i dont think i can go on, i just want to go to sleep and never wake up I love my baby