Thank you both for your thoughts. Im actually typing this in my little girls room. The sun is streaming in its big and spacious. I got her photos around. Sometimes Im here in the early hours of the morning I think that maybe I will feel her presents But I never do. I found drawings she had done that seem to indicate a circle of life. She shows her self as an angel with an arrow going down a chimney then a baby, then larger then a grave plot with her typical representation of flowers. Then an arrow pointing up to the angel again. I found hidden behind a photo a drawing she had made of each of her pets. A number had died naturally but the pony we sold when she no longer wanted to look after it. I worked away a lot and only came home at weekends. I and my mother in law cut her down. My regrets know no bounds-persuing a career But also I think-as does my wife- how dare she do this. She had everything going for her and everything a child could want-including a stable home and loving parents. The house we moved into has beams every where, I remember joking with her 'this is a good place to hang your self'-bout 2 years earlier....