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About MartyT

  • Rank
    Grief Counselor
  • Birthday 02/10/1943

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Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Sarasota, Florida

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    mother, daughter, friend
  • Date of Death
    5/26/67, 9/3078,10/06/93
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  1. Here is the latest podcast from Peggy Haymes: Spirit, Mind & Heart Episode 2: Top Ten Myths of Grief
  2. You should see an "Edit" option at the base of your post, Anne. Just click on that, and you can edit your post.
  3. Welcome, Anne ~ it's good to know that you have found us. I think you'll find that here you are among kindred spirits, and you are not alone. We may not have any answers, but we will sit with you in your pain, we won't try to act as if we can "fix it", and we're always here to listen . . .
  4. Tony, you might find this article to be of interest: After-Death Communication: A List of Resources
  5. This just in from our friend Peggy Haymes. Not a webinar, but rather the first in a new series of podcasts. Peggy writes, "I'm doing a series this month on natural emotions, and in this one I'm talking about anger. Next week we'll look at grief." Allow 26 minutes, and you can listen to the podcast here: Spirit, Mind & Heart Episode 1: Why It's Important to Express Our Anger and Tools for Doing Just That
  6. Articles Worth Reading

    BORROWED HOPE by Eloise Cole Posted by The Compassionate Friends on October 16th, 2017 Lend me your hope for awhile, I seem to have mislaid mine. Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily. Pain and confusion are my companions. I know not where to turn. Looking ahead to the future times Does not bring forth images of renewed hope. I see mirthless times, pain-filled days, and more tragedy. Lend me your hope for awhile, I seem to have mislaid mine. Hold my hand and hug me, Listen to all my ramblings. I need to unleash the pain and let it tumble out. Recovery seems so far distant, The road to healing, a long and lonely one. Stand by me. Offer me your presence, Your ears and your love. Acknowledge my pain, it is so real and ever present. I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts. Lend me your hope for awhile. A time will come when I will heal, And I will lend my renewed hope to others. ~ Eloise Cole
  7. International Grief Institute (360) 553-4200 learn@griefeducation.org Healing comes in many forms, and the IGI village offers many opportunities. We’re fortunate enough to have access to life’s most wonderful teachers who are willing to teach what they've lived and learned. Take steps toward your own healing and register for a webinar below. Can’t attend the date? Sign up now and watch the recorded session at a time suitable to you. Check out our growing list of experts here. How it works: The IGI webinar platform is a village of the very best humanitarians who all share a desire to make the world a better place. They design their own curriculum, set their own price, and share what they know with students. You can ask questions, interact with the instructor, or sit quietly and soak up the healing. Read more here >>>
  8. I thought of you, Ana, when I read this just now: Responding to "How Are You?" by Michele Jarvie A recent conversation with a friend challenged me to remember and brainstorm helpful answers to the dreaded question "How are you?" in the midst of grief. Of course, each answer greatly depends on how well you know the person asking and the safety you feel in the environment.(1) "The truth is that I'm struggling. I'm not in a place to talk about it right now, but if you're really interested, maybe we could later."(2) "I've been better."(3) "A better question is 'How are you today?'" (If the relationship is worthwhile and you can educate them a bit on a kinder inquiry)(4) "I'm F.I.N.E." (Knowing inside yourself that FINE is an acronym for Fu**ing Insane, Neurotic, and Emotional)(5) "I'll be okay, just not today."(6) "As Marley said, 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.'"(7) "Ask me another day."(8) "I'm putting one foot in front of the other."(9) "I'm vertical."(10) "Life is really hard. I'm doing my best."----Also, check out this poem: "PLEASE SEE ME THROUGH MY TEARS" by Fernando Alvarez"You asked, 'How are you doing?' As I tell you, tears came to my eyes….And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.All the attention you had given drained away.'How am I doing?'I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two.This pain is indescribable. I need you.When you look away, when I am ignored, I am again alone with it. Your attention means more than you can ever know.Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me heal….They relieve some of the stress of the sadness sometimes.I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness…..but you're wrong.Her memory will always be with me, only a thought away.My tears make the pain more visible to you, but you did notGive me the pain…. It was already thereWhen I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, You've helped me. You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.Be patient …. Do not fearListening with your heart to 'how I am doing'Relieves the pain, for when the tears can freely come and goI feel a tiny bit lighter. Talking to you releasesWhat I've been wanting to say aloud, Clearing space for a small touch of joy in my life.I'll cry for a minute or two…. and then I'll wipe my eyes.And sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, My chest aches, my stomach knots…..Because I'm trying to protect you from my tears.Then we both hurt….me, because my pain is held inside, A shield against our closeness… and you, Because suddenly we're distant.So, please, take my hand and see meThrough my tears….And we can be close again."
  9. Marg, my dear, please know that I am thinking of you and your beloved Billy on this special day of remembrance, and holding you close.
  10. Gracie

    We cannot expect any words from you, dear Butch, when we cannot find any words ourselves. Just know that you are being held by so many caring hearts as we sit with you in your pain ♥
  11. One of my very favorites, Marg!
  12. Maxine has cancer

  13. It's just beautiful, Laura ~ and I love the detailed description explaining all the symbolism in your painting! You certainly are a woman of many skills and talents ♥
  14. I'm so sorry, Gin ~ Thoughts and prayers are with you . . . ♥
  15. Lost my precious boy, Logan

    You might try to find ways to preserve your memories of Logan, Mary, by (for example) gathering all the pictures you have of him, and placing them in some sort of album or memory book ~ or by writing down all the funny or silly or otherwise wonderful things you remember about your times with him. Do whatever you can to keep his memory alive in your mind and in your heart ~ and know that the love you have for him will never leave you. ♥