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MartyT

Admin
  • Content count

    8,648
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About MartyT

  • Rank
    Grief Counselor
  • Birthday 02/10/1943

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    tousleym
  • Website URL
    http://www.griefhealing.com
  • Yahoo
    martytousley

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Sarasota, Florida

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    mother, daughter, friend
  • Date of Death
    5/26/67, 9/3078,10/06/93
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Recent Profile Visitors

8,224 profile views
  1. Jillian, my dear, your story is heart-wrenching, and I am so sorry for your loss. I understand that MAID is legal in Canada, and that your beloved Larry got the death he wanted ~ but your words speak so eloquently of the before- and after-effects of such a choice on you and your family. I am so sorry. Your post reminds me of another poignant story I read just a few moments ago: My Father Always Wanted to Die with Dignity, But When The Time Came I Couldn't Let Him Go
  2. Mary Beth, my dear, let me add my voice to others here, as I strongly encourage you to seek outside professional support to guide you through the traumatic experience you've just described, and I pray that you will do so as soon as possible. You are worth it and you deserve it. This is way too much for you to bear alone. I am so very sorry . . .
  3. TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Free Webinar Wednesday, June 27, 2018 Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Noon-1:00 pm ET featuring Carla Stumpf-Patton EdD, LMHC, NCC, FT, CCTP Director, Suicide Postvention Programs Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) When someone we love and care for dies by suicide, it can be overwhelming, confusing, and bring with it many emotions and questions. It can feel like our world has been split into countless fragments where we become detectives trying to understand how and if it will ever fit back together again, which often includes an endless list of questions around why and how this could have happened. While we may never fully understand the exact thoughts in the mind of our loved one at the time they died, researchers and specialists in the field have come to learn a lot about the suicidal mind. Understanding more around this subject matter can often help survivors of loss in the grieving process as they struggle with the self-directed questions of blame, guilt, doubt, and regret. This session will address some of the prominent theories around why people die by suicide. It will also explore some of the contributaries and risk factors that can come together in forming the “perfect storm” that leads to suicide, and how survivors of loss can continue to heal with this knowledge. About the Speaker: Dr. Stumpf-Patton is the surviving spouse of Marine Sgt. Richard Stumpf. She holds an Ed.D. in Education Counseling Psychology and is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, Certified Fellow Thanatologist. and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. This webinar is open to the public. Learn More and RSVP About the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Through an alliance with HFA, the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing serves as a resource and training center, providing programs for both professionals working in the field of grief and loss and the public.The TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing was launched in March 2018. Have questions? Call 800-959-8277 (TAPS) or email Institute@taps.org.
  4. TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Free Webinar Wednesday, June 27, 2018 Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Noon-1:00 pm ET featuring Carla Stumpf-Patton EdD, LMHC, NCC, FT, CCTP Director, Suicide Postvention Programs Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) When someone we love and care for dies by suicide, it can be overwhelming, confusing, and bring with it many emotions and questions. It can feel like our world has been split into countless fragments where we become detectives trying to understand how and if it will ever fit back together again, which often includes an endless list of questions around why and how this could have happened. While we may never fully understand the exact thoughts in the mind of our loved one at the time they died, researchers and specialists in the field have come to learn a lot about the suicidal mind. Understanding more around this subject matter can often help survivors of loss in the grieving process as they struggle with the self-directed questions of blame, guilt, doubt, and regret. This session will address some of the prominent theories around why people die by suicide. It will also explore some of the contributaries and risk factors that can come together in forming the “perfect storm” that leads to suicide, and how survivors of loss can continue to heal with this knowledge. About the Speaker: Dr. Stumpf-Patton is the surviving spouse of Marine Sgt. Richard Stumpf. She holds an Ed.D. in Education Counseling Psychology and is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, Certified Fellow Thanatologist. and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. This webinar is open to the public. Learn More and RSVP About the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Through an alliance with HFA, the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing serves as a resource and training center, providing programs for both professionals working in the field of grief and loss and the public.The TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing was launched in March 2018. Have questions? Call 800-959-8277 (TAPS) or email Institute@taps.org.
  5. Here's another: The Impossible Suicide An excerpt: My children, my parents, my friends, my supporters, my fans are better off without me. What is that? All of that is the depression speaking. The very tools where we or some friend could whack us in the head and say, “get over it and let’s get an action plan in place” escape anyone with this illness because those tools not only don’t resonate, they don’t exist in the vortex. Suicide literally becomes a logical conclusion based on the wrong assumptions and horribly faulty math. And it leaves profound holes in the people left behind. All death is infinite, of course, but I think the loss of a child and suicide are particular docks off of the island of shit that is loss.
  6. Oh Kay, that's awful. Just awful. I'm so sorry!
  7. Beautiful picture of your beautiful man, dear Kay ❤️
  8. We're all thinking of you as you find ways to endure these difficult and challenging days, dear Darrel ~ but remember, too, that in reality, these days are no different from any other ones. They are only as different and as significant as we make them out to be . . . ❤️
  9. Katie, my dear, please read this: Worried about your friends? How to talk about suicide ~ most especially this: "This is a crappy reality: you can’t save everyone. You can do the best you can, make all the right moves, say all the right things – and the ultimate decision belongs to your person. Global News Radio host Kelly Cutrara and I discussed this very thing, and why it’s so important to know the difference between supporting your person and saving them. Listen in to our conversation at this link."
  10. Marg, my dear, if it makes you feel any better, I have the same problem ~ especially when it comes to TV shows. Nowadays the trend for screenwriters seems to be "Don't tell a story in chronological order. Better to jump around in time, showing events happening in the past, future, and present, all jumbled up. And introduce a dozen different characters as quickly as possible and as early in the story as you can, so as to confuse the viewer as much as possible." The only programs I can do are the ones I can tape and stream. If a week goes by between episodes, I am completely and totally lost. You and I are the same age, so I suppose some of it has to do with our aging brains ~ but I think it's also in how much screenwriting has changed in recent years. I don't like it at all!
  11. Gwen, I'm so sorry that life is such a challenge for you. How I wish we could fix it for you ~ but alas, you are the only one who can save you. I hope it helps to know that we are here, if only in a virtual way ~ but we ARE here, we are listening, and we care . . . ❤️
  12. Kay, I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. You are such a dear and caring person. Your experience with getting those ladies out from the back seat of your car is ~ well ~ dare I say hilarious? But only in retrospect, I'm sure! Do get some rest, and know that we are sending healing thoughts to you ❤️
  13. MartyT

    To Let Go or Not?

    My friend, it hurts my heart to read how you are struggling so ~ especially when I know of so many, many resources "out there" that could help you and your family. You cannot force your dad to take advantage of them, but that doesn't mean that you cannot learn more about grief and mourning yourself, so you'll have a better understanding of your own feelings and reactions as well as those of your dad. I've just listened to a very informative radio podcast that you may find helpful, and the book that is mentioned might be a perfect gift for you to present to your dad for Father's Day. Again, you can't force him to read it, but you can go as far as making it available to him. You could do that with any articles that you read as well, by printing them out and leaving the copies someplace where your dad will see them. It's a useful but indirect way for you to offer your support and understanding to him. Here is a link to the program, including information about the book: Inspiring Stories of Widowed Fathers in 'The Group' ~ and you might appreciate listening to the program yourself. Here is Amazon's description and reviews of the book, The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life
  14. We're all thinking of you and your beloved on this special day of remembrance, dear Kay ❤️
  15. Feeling for you and holding you close in our hearts, dear Mitch ♥
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