I have tried to write this letter a few times now,Its hard to know where to begin,I lost my first husband to a road traffic accident fifteen years ago,I spent years running from my grief ,he was only 36yrs old we had a lifetime to look forward to, Imoved to America where I met and married my second husband John,there I found happiness at long last,but that was to be short lived we were only married three years,when I discovered that all was not as it seems, Maybe I just turned a blind eye to a lot of our issues because nothing was going to destroy the happiness I found with him!! But there are somethings that need to be recgnised I left him for three long weeks ,in that time he ended his own life,all thats left are the unspoken words!!and the what ifs, I can not forgive myself and the hurt that in someway could have prevented this!is over whelming............how do I go on.....