Kelly

Hi, i know what you are going through. I lost my mom almost nine months ago now and I still have a hard time with things. I gave birth to my first baby one month after she passed away. I wish she had gotten a chance to see her, to play with her, anything. i think that has been the hardest point to deal with. I can relate to the not sleeping. it comes and goes but during the bad weeks I feel like I'm losing my mind. Mom was very young and her passing very unexpected. She was only 37 and in good health and at 23 i just was not ready to not have my mom there for me. I don't have any awnsers for you. I don't have any fix-it remedies for you. I wish i did, really I do. I wish you all the best in you struggle to come to terms with this. And i hope you have or find someone that you can confide in and turn to at any given moment. I think that is what has gotten me this far was having someone i could talk to. Someone that understands what I am going through and doesn't judge me. I really do wish you the best! Kelly

Hi pup, We all have an idea of what you are going through. I lost my mom 6 months ago very suddenly. She was 37. Its hard to lose them when they are so young. It just seems very unfair!!! I'm 22, older than you but missing my mom so much. We are always here for you. You can vent on here anytime you know. Same the same thing over and oner again, i miss my mom!!!! I hope you are talking to someone, anyone. For me anyway, it has helped. I feel as though i am keeping her memory alive by talking about her. I wish you all the best!

There have been alot of firsts since mom passed away five months ago. the latest one is my BD. I have never spent a BD without her. She was always with me no matter what I was doing, and actually she always planned it. For my eighteenth we started at a martini bar then went to a bar downtown and then we to another bar where her friends were playing and they sang me a BD song. A bunch of rock-a-billies, it was cute. But thats what she did! i always had fun and so did she. My family and friends all tried very hard to spoil me and dirtractme which I appreciate very much. But it just wasn't the same. I lvoe her so much and I miss her so much!!! I still haven't figured out quite how to do this all without her. I miss everything she used to do for me. Is that selfish? To miss those things? I miss her, i miss spending time with her, talking on the phone with her. I miss ganging up on my husband with her, he misses ganging up on me with her. She was everything! What now? Thanks for reading, i just need to vent a bit more! Kelly

I'm so sorry for all of your loss's. You're right no one knows what you're going throug. You're pain is you're own. I lost my mother fuve months ago and it had only gotten worse. The whole, time heals thing is a load of crap if you ask me. If you ever need to chat feel free. I will always listen. I know I'm not your husband but I will listen. Good luck and all the best to you!

My moms been gone for five months now. las tnight I was lying in bed. it had been an o.k. day overall. But all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I got this gutwrenching ache in my stomach. I just all of a sudden needed my mom so bad and I couldn't do anything to make it happen. I miss her so much. I was writing in my jornal to her toaday. All I got written down was "Hi mom, how are you?" and at that moment my baby woke from a heavy sleep and just quietly stared at me. It was llike looking at my mom. It was creepy and comforting all in one. It was like my mom was trying to tell me that everything is o.k. I miss her so much, I guess I'll believe anything if it means some sort of comtact with her.

I looked forward to the same thing. My mom and I were so close in age, we were only 15 years apart. We had plans of living in the same seniors centers and chasing each other around with our canes and walkers. Honestly i have no guilt. But I think thats because i understand and know how much she loved me and i know she knew how much I loved her. And really in the end thats all that matters. That is the only thing that we can control. I would give anything to tellher again and to hear it again. But in my heart, even on the worst days I know!!!!

We are always somebody's child. It may not be in the way we desperatley want, but that doesn't make the bond any less special! I have to beleive that or all of life with my mom has been a waste, and I know it has not been!

I'm the same way. I lost my mom on october 4th/o4. It was sudden and unexpected. She was 37. There are so many times that i have picked up the phone and started to call her. Every time it seems to hurt worse. Its like a slap in the face. I hate it. She was everything to me and now she's gone! I just want her back so bad. A hug or a smile and I'm proud of you would just be the best thing in the whole world right now. i would love for her to meet her four month old granddaughter. She would have loved her, i just know it!! I miss her so much!

My mom passed away five months ago, and the pain feel as fresh and as real as it did the first night. What do I do now? i think its getting better and then I have a few days like now and it build and builds. I think I'm going ti lose it and not be able to recover. My mom was my everything, she was the most amazing person in mt life. She knew me better than I knew myself. Where do I find that now? I just miss her so much!!! I had my first baby a month and two days after she passed away. We were so excited. We had so many plans and now I'm alone. Thats not true, I have a wonderful husband and a great support group, but nothing comes close to mom. I need something, something that makes this a little easier, alittle less painful. It gets so bad some days its hard to breath. I love her so much and yet I can't be anywhere near her. I need her in my life. I need her in my childs life. I miss my mom!!!

I just wanted to let everyone know about something that has helped me a great deal. I lost my mother four months ago and have been at a complete loss without her. I was searching for books and discussion groups one day and I found something. Its a memorial website and its a wonderful idea. Its takes no time at all to start one. I went on and have been there almost everyday since. You can pay tribute, write your memories, light memorial candles, put on pictures or anything you want really. It's a place where all family and freinds can go and add what they want and its a place to 'visit" without having to leave your home. I have a three month old baby and that was a real positive, not having to go out. I won't say that doing this has made it easier but it has giving something positive to do for my mother and something else to focus on. I didn't realize this when I found the site but it does cost $55.00 to sponsor the site, in order to keep it going forever. But you only pay once and 10% of that goes to a charity that you pick. Honestly it's well worth it if you think doing something like that might help you and those around you. Its a great place to compile memories and stories that other people have about the one you lost. Its nice to hear the great things people say about mom. I knew she was an amazing women, but it's still good to hear coming from someone else. So good luck to everyone!

tootie, I just read what you posted after i e-mailed you. i'm so sorry. I'm sure you know in your heart that you're mother blames you for nothing!!!! Neither does you're family or you're children. You need to tell yourself that exact thing ever day and mabey one day you will truly beleive it! And then mabey you can stop blaming yourself. But who am I to give you advice on anything. i just wanted you to know that I found this and read it. and I see now you really know where I'm coming from. Good Luck!! I wish for you a peace of mind. kelly

My mom passed away four months ago and I just can't come to grips with it! We did everything together and the fact that she was so young. It doesn't make any sense. She passed away at 37 years old, 5 weeks before my first child was born. It's just so unfair. We had so many plans. She was in the middle of nitting a blanet which she has never really done before. She was my best friend. We were on our own from the time that i was sixteen until we moved in (seperatley) with each of our new boyfreinds. I got married April of 01, and she got married in May four months before she passed away. It's just so unfair. She always said, "when is life ever fair" but I never thought it could go to this degree. My mom and I are only 15 years apart so i figured we had quite a few years ahead of us. We even planned on being in the sam seniors home together chasing each other around with our canes and walkers. She was everything. She knew what i needed before i did, and she knew how to fix things even if I didn't know they were broken. i need her now to help me through this. I've always had her, even at the worst of times when i sometimes felt like the mother. I always new when i gave up she'd take her spot back. I had already grown up a bit, but when I was around her I could still be the kid. I didn't have to be the responsible one all the time. I could kick in my two sense and then leave it for her. And who am I supposed to confide in? I tol her everything. I have no one in my life that i could talk to about everything. My husband has been amazing, don't get me wrong, but what if I need to vent about him? See, she really was my best freind, and best freinds are hard to find! Now I'm lost, i don't know what to do! I'm not technically alone, but it sure feels like it some day. If anyone has any advice, please, just to know that i'm not alone in this struggle is nice sometimes.