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About kayc

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  • Birthday October 7

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Recent Profile Visitors

9,624 profile views
  1. I think this is journaling with response, so we aren't just getting our feelings out on paper, we're learning along the way, from others. Keying is easier on my hands too Tom!
  2. George, My doctor broached this subject with me (I guess that's a sign you're getting older, LOL!) and I wouldn't sign a DNR but I fully trust my son to make the right decision on my behalf so put his name down for making decisions. I made it clear in the paperwork that if I have a chance to recover any quality of life I want measures taken, but if it's prolonging life and I'd be left a vegetable, no heroic measures. My son understands my wishes and would convey what I want. Sometimes there isn't time to reach someone for input and then the medical team has to make the best decision they know and we have to live with it. I have a copy of my papers and so does the doctor and it's registered with PeaceHealth, the common medical organization here in Oregon.
  3. Articles Worth Reading

    Good article. I don't drive at night and that's when most events are so I have no choice but to catch a ride or stay home. Thankfully my grief is enough ways out that isn't a problem now, but that was sound advice for anyone newer in their grief (by newer I mean first few years). BTW, I love WYG What's Your Grief! I get their emailed articles every week and found them helpful with my grief support group. I'm always looking for information!
  4. Polly, I am thrilled to hear this, for your sake, for Bill's, AND for your daughter's. It's good for her to learn this, part of mature thinking and respect. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!
  5. One year later

    Telling someone they must come out from it is a little like telling someone to move on...it feels inappropriate. Here we acknowledge someone's feelings, knowing everyone's timetable is different. I lost one of my best friends a year ago from cancer and I cherish memories of her. What's key is balance...while it's good to remember the memories, it's also important to not miss today, to learn to live in the present so we don't miss what is. I've learned in grief that those past and present in our lives are all intermingled, all a part of who we are.
  6. Jiliean, I am so sorry for your loss, that must have been horrific. I'm happy to hear your news about your impending birth, congratulations! I don't know what baby sleep training is, I'm 65 and my babies are long raised. My son slept 12 hours a night from the beginning...my daughter wasn't so easy, eight hours a day in snatches. But I'd love to have them back that age even for just a while! I content myself with my grandbabies, although they aren't nearly as close (in proximity) as I'd like. Good luck!
  7. I am a transgender

    Charlatt, I'm not sure why you are posting about this in a grief forum, it's a little off topic, but I feel qualified to answer you. One of my closest friends is transgender although in his 60s elects not to go through surgery at this point. I don't know what state you're in, but most of them require you to go through counseling and get the recommendation of a doctor before undergoing surgery, I'd highly recommend that. I do want to recommend a forum for you. I had to go through an interview and approval from one of the mods before being allowed to join, but they're easy on you. They just want to make sure of your intent, no catfish. I joined years ago in an effort to learn more, understand and support my friend. Not everyone on there is transgender, but a great deal are, many are crossdressers, and there is a section for their wives, GFs, etc. You may be able to join the public section there, give it a try. If you have any questions, contact a moderator. Some are a little over the top with their crossdressing and gurly stuff, don't let it throw you. Underneath it all, there are good people there. Honestly, I think the main thing is to be comfortable with yourself, however you are. The more comfortable with yourself you are, the more comfortable other people are with you. Of course there are always judgmental people but that's based on their own ignorance, hence these forums are great tools for enlightening. The more the issues are out there, the more educated people can become. There's more than just male and female, there's everything inbetween and combination thereof. AND there's many more sexual identities, all it's good to figure out. https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/
  8. I know. Break it down into an hour then, or a minute, whatever you can handle.
  9. It can be a common reoccurring thought. It's so key to find something to live for. It's hard when you don't have family nearby that cares. That puts the onus on us to try to build relationships worth living for. Slow and hard, but worth trying for. Butch, one thing at a time, first get through today.
  10. Making these decisions are the hardest ones someone can be called upon to do. We never talked about the DNR, it seemed so remote it never entered in. We did talk about death, but honestly we thought it was years and years away. We weren't old yet. Honoring their wishes, balancing giving them every chance to live with not wanting them to suffer, it's all hard. I know I would have wanted George here no matter what but he would not have wanted to be disabled and unable to do things, I guess we don't always get what we want. My heart goes out to each of you.
  11. Pixie, wow, that's got to be very hard. Prayers for all concerned.
  12. Here I am again

    I'm glad, wishing the best for you!
  13. Lainey, I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes when we have more than one loss it can pile up on us, that's hard to deal with. It will be important to grieve each of them individually, to separate your losses. I'm glad you're near your kids now and I hope that is of help to you. Of course we'll be here for you.
  14. Darrel, Wishing you some peace...