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Showing results for tags 'loss of a pet'.
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Hello, I lost my baby girl Chanel on December 2 2017 at 1:36 am at the age of 6. It still hasn't fully set in as my mind keeps thinking she's still here, either sleeping in the other room or just outside playing/going pee. It wasn't something expected or I could prepare for. Some asshole left food with antifreeze in it at the local park where multiple dog owners go with their fur babies. I've barely slept or eaten since then cause whenever I close my eyes that night just replays over and over again in my mind. I don't want to go into detail right now but it was bad, really bad. I've had my baby girl with me since she was 2 weeks old. Yes 2 weeks. My brother and I found her and her two brothers in a box thrown in a ditch in the rural part of town where we used to live. They were so sick and cut up we didn't know if any of them would make it but all 3 did. And turned out to be all very happy and healthy dogs. But that Friday night we had gone to the puppy park (how she knew it) like we always did and she was being her goofy playful self doing her 'bunny' jumps and chasing her tail. I always did my best to stop her from eating or drinking anything at the parks or on our walks because even before her poisoning I knew there are some sick people out there that purposely do this, especially where I live now there have been multiple reports at a bunch of parks of scum doing this. But she was just so quick sometimes and would eat things before I could get it out of her mouth. For a dog that would NEVER take food from anyone but me or my brother even if I said it was okay she always managed to find stuff on the ground and would eat it. Which is exactly what happened that night. It was around two later she started puking and I knew she must of ate something that she shouldn't have and just thought it was an allergic reaction (she was allergic to A LOT of things) but then she started to seize and struggling to breath. I rushed her to the emergency vet and they tried for hours to save her. Her liver and kidneys were so swollen like they were about to burst and were shutting down going into complete failure. Their levels were so high the machine couldn't even read them. She had such a high dose of antifreeze in her system even if I got her there when she initially ate it they don't think they could of saved her. I stayed with her until they closed at 8am and they kicked me out. The vet wasn't so cold but the vet techs were amazing and so kind. But now here I am a few days later still trying to process everything. She literally went everywhere with me so even leaving my home is too painful having to see everywhere we used to go but also staying in is just as painful. I haven't gone in my bedroom since that night cause it's all how she left it. Her blanket bed all messy her toys everywhere and food bowl with food still in it. I had to take down all her pictures for now cause it's just so painful to see them all. When I do sleep (very little) I have her favourite toy with me, her collar wrapped around my wrist and one of her blankets that smells like her. Only support system I have close by are my dad but who still has his own life to live, my bf and a few close friends (but none that have ever owned a dog). My brother is currently living in another province. When I say this dog was my whole life I mean it. I never would want to hangout with people cause just the thought of being away from her longer than I needed to killed me. But flash forward two days later my bf had been by my side the whole time with me including that terrible night. Him and Chanel were best friends especially since he is off on disability leave from work for some serious health reasons, so they were together everyday while I had to work. When I was home they were constantly together doing everything. He was the one person I needed the most right now as we live together and have been together for 8 years. But now he's so cold mean and distant. Yelling at me and blaming me saying I always ignored her cause I had to work. And the worst saying she was just a dog and I need to get over it cause he is over it. I know with grieving comes anger but this feels different. He actually threw out her leash and some of her stuff while I was out with my dad arranging for her cremation and paw print impression. I had to go dumpster diving to get it all back, thankfully he put it all in a bag so nothing got ruined. Now ontop of trying to grieve Chanel I'm going through a breakup. He said the only thing keeping us together was 'that dog' and he hasn't loved me for years if he ever did at all. I literally don't know what to do anymore. If I'm not breaking down crying I'm just numb. He was by my side crying and grieving Chanel for those first two days and now he's a completely different person. I didn't know where else to go but online to try and find some help and guidance and came across this site. It physically hurts how much I miss my baby girl, it literally feels like there's a hole where my heart used to be. I'm struck with guilt for deciding to go to the park at night for not paying closer attention. Everything just keeps replaying in my mind and all the what ifs are killing me. And then wham my bf kicking me when I'm down and being so cruel towards me. I know it will take time if not years but at this moment I feel so helpless and lost. I know I will feel slightly better once I have her ashes back home with me but till then I just keep laying in my bathroom with her blanket and toy cause it was the only place she never went into and the only place I feel slightly okay with everything that is happening. I'm sorry that this is so long I just needed to get it out. Thank you for reading. danielle
Had to put my baby to sleep a month ago. She was my life. She was rescue as someone had shot her up withhigh power darts at 6 weeks old and was found under a bridge almost dead. The dart caused a horrible infection in her leg and was told she might loose her leg. I came home one night and turned on the news to see this tiny black lab with her leg all bandged jumping around. She was being shownby the human society for adoption. I was not looking for another dog since i already had a yellow lab that was blind. But i went to bed thinking about her and woke up thinging about her. I had fallen in love with her in 10 seconds and knew she belonged with me. Needless to say i started adoption process, we were inseparatable from moment i brought her home. We faced many challenges together including TPLO surgery & being hit by a car. Than just before Thanksgiving she had to have a back toe amputated and found out she had melanoma cancer. The cancer was aggressive and after a brave fight she was ready to cross the rainbow bridge. And now my baby Karma is gone. I feel nothing but an emptiness inside of me. Sadness that cannot even be expressed by words. I cant eat or sleep and cry a lot. Its awful to come home at night and not have a wagging tail waiting. Even when she was sick when i came home she would always go get a bone and bring it to me. I am not functioning very well and most people do not understand. I feel like only a shell of me is walking around. I am so heartbroken. Miss my angel girl so much! Thank you for letting me tell my story!
My family has always included a black and white English springer spaniel in the picture. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that they all lived long and happy lives, but our last girl Indy had hers cut entirely way too short. This is the first time I have ever reached out for any online support, but I am feeling really low and depressed, and maybe this will be the first step to coping. Two years ago I drove eight hours to pick up little Indy at eight weeks old, she was indeed the cutest out of all of her siblings and grew into her spunky and fearless personality. She loved everything from chasing seagulls into the ocean to going for rides in my dads truck, just as long as she was with us, she was happy. A couple weeks ago, my dad decided to take her with him to go on his vacation for two weeks. He was hesitant at first because he didn't want anything bad happening to her, but being the lazy 22 year old that I am, I wanted to feel guilt free of going to school/doing whatever I wanted without having her locked up in the house the whole time, so I encouraged him to take her. He would call and tell me what a great time she's having, until three days before he was supposed to come home, there was an accident. I don't know the full details, and part of me really doesn't want to know, but basically my dad accidentally ran her over. They took her to the vet and the vet thought she was going to be fine, but she didn't make it through the night. My heart is completely broken, and our house is quiet. She brought everyone together to play and have her chase us around. I am so angry at my dad, myself, god or whoever is out there that didn't let this mistake slide and let her be ok. I wish I would have taken her to the beach every nice day we had, I wish I wouldn't of gotten so irritated at her for chewing a hole in every one of my socks, I wish I would have paid more attention to her, I just wish I could go back and do a million things differently. I am just so hurt and angry, it wasn't fair she didn't get that long and happy life. I just hope she knew how much she was loved, and I would let her chew through a million more pairs of my socks if it meant I could have her back.