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Found 1 result

  1. Sorry For Your Loss

    I think one of the things that bothers me most about grieving is when people apologize for my loss. Not when I tell them, or they know me or I'm confiding in them like this fourm, but strangers will do it. The first time that it ever really got to me is when I was still working. It was very fresh, only a week or 2 since it had happened. Our job was a pretty tight knit community, like a family, they had watched me grow up, they knew me my whole life. A new person started working there. When she first introduced herself to me she apologized for my loss. That bothered me. So much. It still does to thia day. This total stranger to me just apologized about something so deeply personal while getting our introductions out of the way. It left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and made me feel worse because now I just had the impression that everyone was talking about me. Not just people I knew, but people I would never meet. It was hard enough to lose my mom, but now I have to be "dead-mom-girl" behind my back too..? I hated the way my grief and personal tragedy was being used like a conversation point, "Oh yes it's so sad, she lost her mum, and she found her body." "Oh really?? That's so tragic.." I still have strangers pretty much apologizing to me about it. It's been over a year. Granted it's come up again but it just hits a nerve with me. I can't tell every single person not to say that to me, and it would be a waste. It's easier if it's over facebook to just say thanks and move on. In person I don't even always say thank you. I save that for when I mean it. I said thank you about it in person for the first time recently. She was heartfelt about it, and it wasn't so sorry just for my loss, it was sorry for my suffering, it was sorry for the experience, it was "I'm so sorry." Normally when someone says "I'm sorry for your loss" I just say "yeah..me too.." I know people don't know what to say, and are just trying to be nice, but does this bother anyone else too? I feel like I'm being bitter over it and society expects me to just accept it like it is a compliment. And usually people will try and use it in a way when they are trying to sell me something, or get me to do something for them. It just seems such poor taste to me..
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