When grief hits it's hardest you'll find out who cares and who doesnt

[Gettingthrough79]

I'm sick of the "you'll get over it, time will pass, take care of you, move on, do what you have to do."

Enough is enough. It's aggravating.

No one knows what this feels like unless they've been through it. I know not everyone handles this well but I truly found out who cared and who didn't and unfortunately  in my case many people didnt. They showed their true colors.

[BillT]

49 minutes ago, Gettingthrough79 said:

No one knows what this feels like unless they've been through it.

I believe that is the crux of the issue of people "not understanding".  They don't understand because they can't understand unless they have been through it, and possibly only if they have been through it recently.  I have lost a sister, a wife , a girlfriend, a father, mother, step father, and now, just eight months ago, my soulmate.  None of the previous losses prepared me in any way for the loss of my soulmate.  I understand that people do not understand.

Love and prayers are with you.

 

[Gettingthrough79]

1 hour ago, BillT said:

I believe that is the crux of the issue of people "not understanding".  They don't understand because they can't understand unless they have been through it, and possibly only if they have been through it recently.  I have lost a sister, a wife , a girlfriend, a father, mother, step father, and now, just eight months ago, my soulmate.  None of the previous losses prepared me in any way for the loss of my soulmate.  I understand that people do not understand.

Love and prayers are with you.

 

Thankyou Bill.

I'm sorry for all your losses..

It was hell dragging myself out of bed today.

Love and prayers be with you as well.

[kayc]

You are right, none of the other losses are the same.  I lost all of my grandparents, my FIL, and MIL, most aunts and uncles, a niece, a nephew, both of my parents, a LOT of pets, friends, I've been through divorce (more than once, I've lost several babies (up to 4 1/2 months along), and each loss in varying degrees of difficult, but NOTHING was comparable to the loss of my soulmate.

[Widowedbysuicide]

I am finding more understanding and compassion coming from strangers than from the fearful, not understanding friends.  Knowing that people behave poorly toward us because they don't understand is of no comfort to me.  I am angered and hurt by it.  

I guess this is the part where I learn to become a 'better person' than I used to be.  Part of the anger is that having been a compassionate and giving person had me thinking that caring about friends was natural.  It is a hard way to learn that this really is a dog eat dog world.

Gettingthrough79, I feel your pain with the non understanding.  I hope all of us can find new people who can be there with us and for us as we would be there for them.  Bless you.

Marita

[kayc]

Try not to give concern to those who let you down, but rather find and surround yourself with people who are supportive.  Support groups are a good place to find them, it seems you just had one end, but I think you exchanged contact information with some of them?

I hope you have some family members standing by you.

[Gettingthrough79]

1 hour ago, kayc said:

Try not to give concern to those who let you down, but rather find and surround yourself with people who are supportive.  Support groups are a good place to find them, it seems you just had one end, but I think you exchanged contact information with some of them?

I hope you have some family members standing by you.

Absolutely  no family...

[kayc]

I'm so sorry.  Keep going for people with the support groups then, hopefully you will build some new relationships through that.  I made my best friend after my husband died, unfortunately she moved away a couple of years ago.  Still haven't found anyone like her!