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It's time to bring this topic back to our attention since our art auction fundraiser is behind us and we must remember that while it helped a great deal, we can't stop working to keep Marty and this important haven going. When I first found this place it was funded by Hospice of the Valley HOV here in Phoenix. Soon after I was here and in the throws of a very dark place in my life budget cuts forced HOV to stop funding to Marty. I was too deep into my own anguish to even notice the donate button at the top of the page. It wasn't that I couldn't help. It was that I couldn't see beyond my own grief. As has been spoken before, many members of our community of over eight thousand have a very hard time making ends meet and that's not only a horrific place to be but can add unwanted guilt to their grief because they can't help. That is the beauty of this place. We don't care who can afford to help. There is and never shall be a fee to participate in healing. The longer you are here, the more you begin to help others and you can't put a price tag on that.  Guilt has no place here. Only love is welcome. What is important is that those of us who can help, must help. Those of you who already do so know how grateful Marty is. This thread is to remind those who haven't helped but can afford to do so to step up and those that are new, to notice the need in case their grief had them pass it by unnoticed as I had.

Please keep it in mind and just do what you can.

Thank you Patty for giving us a banner to connect the love with the support through this photo from the grounds of our art auction.:wub:

LOVE.jpg

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On 10/16/2016 at 1:12 PM, KATPILOT said:

We don't care who can afford to help.

I admit I sometimes feel such guilt over not being able to provide funds......but while I can get by, my finances are, well....."dicey".  When Connor died, his monthly checks immediately ended, and I'm trying to get by on half the income I/we had.  I'm struggling, but I can provide the basics, for now.  If my park did not have free wifi, I would not even be online!  But, if ever I should be able, I would help fund this wonderful site!  It has been SUCH a blessing to me!

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WolfsKat,

Pleas for help are not meant to leave those of us who are in dire straits feeling bad, it's to those who CAN and desire to to help out, to do so.  I give a small amount every month, instead of getting a coffee out, I wish it was 100 times more, but it's what I can do.  We can't feel bad about what we can't do!  :wub:

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On 10/16/2016 at 1:12 PM, KATPILOT said:

That is the beauty of this place. We don't care who can afford to help. There is and never shall be a fee to participate in healing. The longer you are here, the more you begin to help others and you can't put a price tag on that.  Guilt has no place here. Only love is welcome.

 

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Today I went to find a sympathy card for a woman I know who lost her husband on Christmas day. I had met them before and had dinner at their home and though I did not know them all that well, I knew what she must be going through. I also felt compelled to send her something but when I went looking for a card I only found a bunch that said exactly the wrong thing. The clichés were so meaningless and many said exactly what we don't want to hear. It was as if they were written by people who have never experienced a loss. I was surprised I didn't find the one that said "He is in a better place".  All of us who get it tell each other what we need to hear and perhaps we should be writing these cards. Perhaps it would be another way to raise money for this site. It's a thought isn't it? I am writing my own saying to put in the card I will send this lady. Perhaps there is a way we could do such a thing. I wouldn't mind your thoughts.

Steve

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Steve,

I have been making hand made cards for over 30 years, and it started because I couldn't find a card that addressed Mother's Day when I had a mother that did not fit the usual "Mother, you've always been there for me, a shining light, etc etc"  I couldn't gush such sentiments when they weren't true and I'm more authentic than that.  Over the years, I've made my own sympathy cards and with that comes knowing what NOT to say as much as what TO say.  You don't know until you've been there.  I don't know who does the writing for Hallmark and American Greeting Cards but if I were them, I would hire people who have the capacity to understand people in their different situations and make it a real variety.
Unfortunately, there will always be some who write something inappropriate at the bottom because they just don't get grief.  I'm happy for them in their ignorant bliss, but sorry for the rest of us recipients!

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Exactly.

 

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The problem is that so many people buying the "condolence" cards haven't really suffered a great loss.  Those who have, well, they know when they read what is available, that the phrases and meanings just do not capture the right thing.  I find so many things listed on Pinterest that say they are sympathy cards, really DO know the right things that need to be said.  I save them on my board...it sounds like something that perhaps needs a market.

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It is so true Maryann that the commercial cards appeal to the majority of people who have not had a great loss. I received a few of those myself. But the person who has lost the love of their life needs a card very different to send. I have learned to write cards and print them on a pretty paper then attach it inside a blank card. Not unlike Kay does but on a smaller scale.

Art stores carry some nice thin papers and you can cut them to fit your printer. 

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I like using the vellum paper.  I write it out and print on it and then cut it to fit the inside of the card I make and then glue a strip of the vellum and place inside the card.  I find 3M spray adhesive works the best, but I do my spraying inside a newspaper lined box as I don't want it all over the table, floor, etc.

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Kay we go through a dozen large cans of 3M spray adhesive every month at work and there is a reason I have bare concreate floors in the back room.:D

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Oh yeah, I forgot...the line of work you're in, you WOULD be well accustomed with 3M! 

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Here you go, today's Pearls Before Swine:
 

Pearls before swine.jpg

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Just a friendly reminder that the donate button could always use a little pushing. We did good with the auction but it is only one way to help fund this discussion group. Friends let's always remember what we would be like without it. Bless you all for what you are going through and what you do to help each other.:wub:

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And it's been almost a year since the auction!

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