"Radio Silence": Making A Case for Not Talking to An Ex

[MartyT]

“Radio Silence”: Making a Case for Not Talking to an Ex

by Judy Warren

I had never heard the term “radio silence” until the day a male friend of mine was explaining how he ended an “on and off” relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. He said, “I told her I needed total radio silence, and we never spoke again. It was what I needed to move on.” 
What’s interesting about this friend’s journey is that very soon afterwards, he met the woman who he is now married to, and they’re both currently glad to be expecting their 2nd child. He’s happy, in fact happier than I’ve ever known him to be. The idea that his ex was taking up space in his psyche and Mrs. Right was not able to come forward bore fruit in his life in a very big way, once he decided to take some action to change the dynamics. I know some people might consider this perspective trite or oversimplified, but hear me out.  Read on here >>>

[kayc]

Otherwise known as "no contact".  I truly believe we need that time to heal, following a breakup, time to reassess and gain strength, and if necessary, relearn who we are, separate and apart from the other person.  Time to grieve, time to learn new patterns.  

There may or may not be a time down the road to renew contact, but that depends on a lot of things...it's imperative you have time to get over each other, to learn what worked and what didn't and why, to put yourself and your inner health and strength ahead of someone else's...it's not selfish, it's smart!  Time to let go of the emotional ties and appreciate what was good and realize that what wasn't working...wasn't working.  After all, "trying again" will likely have the same results unless sufficient changes have been made...and you've likely already tried those changes, so no sense trying again and getting the same results!  Sometimes one is a square peg and one is a round hole.   Both are okay, just not necessarily together.