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Grief

My Son Passed Away

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I'm going to try to go with details about my son passing away shortly after he was born.

I found out that I was pregnant when I was fourth months along. My boyfriend at the time and I was so excited expecting a baby. I took my prenatal went to my monthly checkups but something was wrong with my baby. He wasn't growing correctly and during that time something was wrong with me.

My family and friends was so excited for us and we was picking out names. My boyfriend and I decided to name him Vincent after my boyfriend's step father and his middle name to be Anthony after my boyfriend. It was perfect and we couldn't be more excited!

On May 11th of this year I was staying the night at my mom's like normally because I wanted to stay the night with her and my daughter who lives with my mom. I woke up sometime around 5:00 AM and something was telling me to go to the bathroom and I did.

I seen blood which got me to panic and I was rushed to the hospital I was praying my little boy would be okay and born healthy.

I had hypertension and preeclampsia then that's why my son wasn't growing like he should. 

It seemed like forever but he was born. He weighed 1lb 1oz and 19inch long he was a preemie baby. 

They rushed him to the incubator trying to get him to breath but all that pushing was too late. He passed away shortly after he was born because his heart was too weak.

He was 20 weeks old when I gave birth to him

To remind you I was rushed an hour away to a different hospital at University Of Kansas Medical Center in Kansas City, KS. I went to the hospital at St. Francis Hospital in Topeka KS. I was supposed to have a C-Section but my family said no. 

My mom had the right to say something because she's my supposedly "guardian."

I held my son's lifeless body and held him before I left the hospital. 

I'm still depressed my little baby is gone and it hurts he's not with me. I don't know why he passed away I still wish he was with me in my arms.

He would of been 6 months old

 

I still wonder what it would be like if he was with me. He was surely a beautiful baby I can't get over it. I still cry over him.

RIP Vincent Anthony Becerra

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I'm so sorry. I hope you can find others on here who have been through similar to you, and talk and relate to them. I hope that helps.

 

Vincent Anthony are lovely names.

 

 

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Dear one, I'm so sorry. Although it was many years ago for me, I have been where you are now, and my heart reaches out to you in your loss of your precious baby, Vincent Anthony. I invite you to read Silent Grief: Pregnancy and Infant Loss ~ and I hope you will take advantage of some of the many Related Articles and Resources listed there. 

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3 minutes ago, MartyT said:

Dear one, I'm so sorry. Although it was many years ago for me, I have been where you are now, and my heart reaches out to you in your loss of your precious baby, Vincent Anthony. I invite you to read Silent Grief: Pregnancy and Infant Loss ~ and I hope you will take advantage of some of the many Related Articles and Resources listed there. 

@MartyT thank you

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Grief,

I am so sorry.  I know I would want answers, not that it'd change anything, but to set my mind at rest, and it doesn't seem like you have many of those.  Your mom may be your guardian, but you are the mother of this precious baby boy, and you deserve to have answers as to why he died, what was wrong.  Have you contacted the doctor?  You should be able to get a copy of the medical records and the death certificate, which should have the cause of death listed on it.  You have every right to know what caused this to happen and if you run the risk of going through this again someday.

I believe with all my heart that we will be with our loved ones again.  It's hard being apart from them in the meanwhile, but it gives me hope that this is not the complete end.  I don't know what your beliefs are, but I hope that possibility brings you comfort.  You're in my thoughts and prayers, you and your boyfriend.

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Sorry for your loss of your son . I  lost a girl at 20 weeks n 5 days and I still get reminded how old she would had been and what grade she would had been in because two of my cousins were pregnant around the same time so their kids are Freshman in highschool so its fascinating to watch them and you wonder what it would had been like with them hanging out with each other as teens as they get  along with my son  who is 12 .

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