Shock and Awe after two years...

[kayc]

Marg,

Whether TMI or not, your writing is delightful, still think you should write a book.  I'd buy a copy!  You're very entertaining with your words/descriptiveness.  Yes we're protective of our young uns.  I didn't sleep much last night...I talked with my daughter last night, she is extremely sick and no insurance to see a doctor.  I'm worried about her.  I know she doesn't want saddled with a hospital bill that could cost her years to pay off.  If only she'd taken my advice and signed up for obamacare, I even gave her the phone number to call.  Sigh...  Now she'll have a penalty to pay for not having it, she could have gotten insurance for free even if it didn't do her any good.  

To top it off I found out her husband came back.  He SHOULD be there taking care of her but I can't help but feel he took advantage of her vulnerability (being so sick) to sneak his way back in there.    She's worn out and too tired to buck it right now.
 

Tom, I thought politics WAS the heavy stuff!  I just know if George was alive we'd be in agreeance about politics, we always did see eye to eye.  And if ever there was a difference we had enough love and respect to see us through it.  It feels like I'm missing him more and more as time passes instead of less.  I guess because the more I see of the world the more I realize what a rare gem he was!

Marg, if I voted for Nixon I wouldn't admit it, but I'm sure I've voted for my fair share of scoundrels!  Scary, they can really put on a mask before election, can't they!

[Margm]

Thanks Kay.  I admire people that can get their opinion, determination, plan, whatever open to people to understand in one or two sentences.  I do write books every time I write.  But, I wish I could get what I want to say done in just those one or two sentences.  

[TomPB]

Kay, IMO politics is nothing compared to grief. 

Going through things found the special sheets we always took sailing, very neatly put away as with everything Susan handled. Triggered grief attack...never again. Then got call from sister of college roommate. She had been searching for my contact info to tell me his wife had died when she found Susan's obit and was shocked. What a coincidence. Now we have a good reason to reconnect. Just another day in grief world.

Glad I finally took my window AC in LOL. Extreme cold in Boston.

[kayc]

17 hours ago, TomPB said:

Kay, IMO politics is nothing compared to grief. 

I would never compare politics to grief...except they GIVE us grief.  I just canceled my newspaper subscription.  It's been oppressing reading that stuff all this year and too much of it is not helpful to me.  I can keep up on the news without it being overboard.  

[Margm]

Politics are just words made up by rich fools.  No one compares politics to our kind of grief.  Sure, they give us grief if we watch them, but they are the fabled ant on an elephant's rear end compared to our worries.  I might tease our Canadian friends about changing leaders, but that is just foolish banter.  Now, we are not supposed to argue religion either, but that is one thing I think we are given leeway with if we don't try to shove it down anyone's throat.  Anything that gives any one individual respite from the horrible feelings we all have is mentioned.  But, no one tries to argue it.  Right now, one of our own, has all but given up and we that do pray, we that do believe in it, we pray our silent prayers for him.  And, it is not anyone's business how they handle their own grief.  Perhaps "handle" is too easy a word.  We wrestle with it, we fight it, we try to "develop scar tissue" to help cover the open wound.  There are many analogies to whatever path we take.  Anger is one of them.  We turn it inward, we turn  it outward, but the problem of grief is still there.  Our Butch has been covered with grief and it has pummeled him into not wanting to eat, drink, or talk.  We have our own grief and can only imagine the mountain he is trying to climb, and having such a hard time with it.

For those that pray, for those that believe in it, it is all we can do and for those that do not believe in it, they offer compassion from deep within our minds and hearts and can only imagine the depths of despair that he is fighting.   He has fought this unimaginable weight of all his grief in a short period of time.  And we worry.

[kayc]

Marg,

Yes, it puts things in perspective.  Politics fade way into the background, so do other issues.  I'm very concerned for Butch, he's such a good person...sometimes we feel so impotent when all we can do is pray...and what we need to realize is that is the best thing we CAN do, putting him into our Father's hands.

[Margm]

When I "react" to something and it has an X over the heart, I want the heart too.  I don't understand when I do this.  Gonna play with it a little.  I usually just "punch" it because I read it and like it.  Am I supposed to do anything else? 

[iPraiseHim]

3 hours ago, Marg M said:

When I "react" to something and it has an X over the heart, I want the heart too.  I don't understand when I do this.  Gonna play with it a little.  I usually just "punch" it because I read it and like it.  Am I supposed to do anything else? 

The "x" is if you want to CANCEL your vote.  ( I had to look at). I supposed the "UPVOTE" is if you REALLY REALLY love it.  That's my guess.

Marg, I appreciate your sharing and caring because it is from your heart and not contrived.  Don't let other comments or your own stop you from sharing your heart.

 

I came across a video recently that said to tell yourself daily and regularly:

" YOU ARE ENOUGH"

 

I thought it was silly at first, but found myself weeping at the mirror.  when I said it to myself.  I have discovered that I say things to myself that I would never say to anyone else.  I have put this one my phone to gently remind myself daily.

 

Everyone, YOU ARE ENOUGH

 

SHALOM

[Margm]

George, you are enough, and I appreciate you and your experience.  I appreciate the prayers I know you sent up in my behalf and so many others.  (As for the clicking on the things, I still do not understand, I tried it different).  But, there are a lot of things I don't understand.  This is something Billy used to do, and as much as I miss him, this always brings a smile to my heart.

Billy would be telling me how to do something, or he would be explaining something (and after a few years of this), I would tell him I understood because we would be there all day with Billy gently explaining something to me if I said I didn't understand.  Now, in my family, if they say I did something, or said something, I do not argue the point with them because I don't want to think too hard on anything.  Used to Billy would let the memory thing bother him and a week later we would be driving somewhere, walking, or just in the living room or bedroom and he would come out with a name, just out of the blue.  He had worried until he remembered.  I always had the "Gone With the Wind" quote "I'll think about that tomorrow."  

Right now, I wish I could listen to  him explain anything, and I would never complain about his using his duck, quail, turkey, crow calls.  I tried not to complain about them much anyhow because I always had it in my mind "one of these days you might wish you could hear him with those calls).  I have a beautiful wood cabinet with glass front and red velvet lining where he kept his calls and the cabinet was attached to the wall.  I have it in my bedroom, but I have never hung it on a wall.  I won't.  

And, that is a word salad, jumping from one thing to another.  You are truly a good man George and I hope you and your dad enjoyed your Christmas dinner and I wish you the best New Year and also commend you for getting healthy.  

[KarenK]

Marg, I'll bet each and every one of us complained to our mates about something that got on our nerves and they complained about things that we did. That's just human nature. What we wouldn't give now to experience those trivial little things! Someone on the cancer forum was complaining that her husband left Gatorade bottles sitting around. I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that one day she might hopefully look around for those bottles again. I only wish I had Ron's clothes to pick up off the floor where he shed them.

[kayc]

Marg, if you hover over the heart, you get a choice to "like" or "love" something and it's then you make your choice which.

Yes, George, you are enough...all of us are.  It's a lesson I've had to learn on my grief journey.  I used to think I had to be married to be of value, thank God I've ditched that thinking!

[TomPB]

17 hours ago, KarenK said:

Marg, I'll bet each and every one of us complained to our mates about something that got on our nerves and they complained about things that we did. That's just human nature. What we wouldn't give now to experience those trivial little things! Someone on the cancer forum was complaining that her husband left Gatorade bottles sitting around. I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that one day she might hopefully look around for those bottles again. I only wish I had Ron's clothes to pick up off the floor where he shed them.

When Susan would accidentally hit me swinging her arms around or bump into me - we were usually so close it was easy to do - and I'd complain, she would  pretend to do it again, gently, joking with me as usual. Sometimes I'd get annoyed and say geez, can't you just apologize?  I'd give any body part to have Susan clumsily jostle me again.

[iPraiseHim]

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  May tomorrow and all of 2018 bring you happier returns. - Shalom

[Margm]

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 
― Alfred Tennyson

I hope the sun shines on all of us sometime this next year and we have a glimmer of happiness and health for all of us.  

[kevin]

Happy New Year Everyone. I hope 2018 will be better for all of us...., Spent 10 days with Family in Northern Alberta....Lots of good times....Temperatures like the old days bone chilling Cold, -10 to -20 F.....The driving in the City always a challenge since these small towns have given me some bad driving  habits....will have a difficult time moving back there because of crowds, but the family ties over rule any perceived negatives....Resolutions the same as last year....lose some weight and stay healthy....Again, all the best

[TomPB]

We're having the longest (not the coldest) stretch of cold temps in Boston in 100 yrs, and a nor'easter forecast to bring 8-12 in snow Thursday. Many events cancelled, already lines at market. I LOVED to be inside and warm with Susan under these conditions. Now lonliness and those memories are giving me a major grief attack. 

[Gin]

Same here, Tom.  We would just nestle in and enjoy each other.  Now everything is such a chore.  And so lonely.

[kayc]

14 hours ago, kevin said:

Happy New Year Everyone. I hope 2018 will be better for all of us...., Spent 10 days with Family in Northern Alberta....Lots of good times....Temperatures like the old days bone chilling Cold, -10 to -20 F.....The driving in the City always a challenge since these small towns have given me some bad driving  habits....will have a difficult time moving back there because of crowds, but the family ties over rule any perceived negatives....Resolutions the same as last year....lose some weight and stay healthy....Again, all the best

I'd wondered where you went!  I noticed your absence.  That is very cold!!  I haven't ever lived with it that cold, but it hit -12 F in Eugene once when I was living there.  Way too cold!!  I guess you'd have to have special clothing to bear it.  I'm glad you've been around family.  I've lived in my town 40 years but my kids moved away long ago.  my church and townspeople are kind of my family now.

[kayc]

13 hours ago, TomPB said:

We're having the longest (not the coldest) stretch of cold temps in Boston in 100 yrs, and a nor'easter forecast to bring 8-12 in snow Thursday. Many events cancelled, already lines at market. I LOVED to be inside and warm with Susan under these conditions. Now lonliness and those memories are giving me a major grief attack. 

Oh Tom, I feel for ya!  I got a foot two weeks ago in one day, lots of shoveling!

[Brad]

On the flip side here in the White Mtns we’re still waiting for any kind of weather other than sunny. I’ve seen frost twice this winter and our ski resort with snow making capabilities still can’t open: snow melts as fast as it’s made. Fire season is going to be a bear. 

 

 

[iPraiseHim]

I am in A Blizzard storm warning East Coast. 10 inches of snow predicted with high winds 50+mph.  Work was cancelled for this afternoon and tomorrow.  I have a lot of work to catch up.  These things are just out of our control.  Stay safe and warm everyone. - Shalom

[Gin]

You stay safe, too.  We in Chicago are getting the below zero stuff and more snow coming.

[Widowedbysuicide]

Brrrr here in BC too.

Friday will be the second anniversary of my husband's suicide.  I refuse to pretend it's not painful or not happening.  However, I am just thinking about all the. Best about our years together and how far we came.

[kayc]

I am sorry so many of you are suffering such cold weather and blizzard conditions, Lord knows I've seen my share of it here.  Right now ends our lovely weather from the last couple of weeks and we head into constant rain.  Sure is a strange year.  Watching the news and seeing all the cars plowing into each other in conditions no one should be driving in, the freezing rain and snow.  We have less than half the rainfall we should have by now, summer is going to be a bear, concerned about water tables with those of us on wells.

11 hours ago, Widowedbysuicide said:

I am just thinking about all the. Best about our years together and how far we came.

Great attitude!  Thinking of you as you hit that 2nd year mark.

[iPraiseHim]

11 inches of snow.  A tree fell on my car but no serious damage.  I spent two and half hours clearing snow from my porch, steps, side walk and part of the drive way.  I pulled my car forward and got stuck.  no work tomorrow... hopefully Saturday and a busy next week. Stay safe everyone. - Shalom