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iPraiseHim

Shock and Awe after two years...

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George,

You have been busy!  I don't trust the cloud (my son finds that funny, says it's a Plugger thing) but I have my external hard drive for backups.  I figure if the house ever catches on fire, after I get my animals out, I have to grab my external hard drive on the way out.  :)

125 pounds now, you're still losing, and quickly at that.  I'm glad you have your computer all set up the way you want it now and can use your flight simulator. B)

I'm still sick, this is an odd illness (viral Pharyngitis) in the random symptoms and that days 4 and 5 are the worst...starting that now, nighttime seems even worse.  All that to say that while I'm laying here sick, I'll be praying for you on the 14th and 16th especially, that's tough.

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Three Years today.   Shalom

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I know, George.  I send you hugs and prayers to get your through this day.

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I'm sorry, I realize that three is just a number and you have done so much to try to help yourself, and I am sure some of that has helped you build scar tissue to the pain, but the numbers can remind us and the pain returns.  You are a true fighter George, and someone we all respect.  

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What really sucks is now having another date we will never forget and for all the wrong reasons.  Thinking of you, George.  🌹

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It isn't just dates Gwen.  I escaped from the beautiful little town, but I have to go back this month, it is beautiful, safe, wonderful, but he is not there.  I watched a travel movie a couple had made of their travels.  When Billy was here I would watch and dream.  I was watching with four eyes then though, now I watch with two and the prospect of traveling was ours, it is not mine alone.  Reminders come in all shapes, sizes, dates, weather, roads, places.  Staying inside seems safe and it would be okay with my granddaughter too, that is the problem.  (Promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.  RF)  Push myself.  No, I want to hide.  Cannot hide.  Another life needs pushed.  Sister wants me to move in with her.  Daughter wants to move in with us.  She needs taken care of.  Didn't old people used to have to be taken care of?  I'm doing okay.  Do not need any more stress.  Doc cut down Xanax.  

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I relate totally, Marg.  I’ve spent a lot of time recently with repairs, tasks, seeing places we used to go close or change to something else alone now.  The  places that remain that I cannot go to anymore.  I get very brief periods wondering why I am so messed up I went to disappear and the answer is so simple.  My reason for being is gone forever.  This isn’t  like a friend that has moved away or a divorce.  This man is gone from existence and especially mine.  His friends miss him but in no way as I do. They spent maybe a cou0le hours a week with him, not 24/7.   Everything has become more complicated.  The news of possible back surgery has me terrified and can’t see doing alone if I wanted to.  I can’t discuss the pros and cons with him and there are a lot the surgeon didn’t bother to mention.  I just know that all the speed bumps of life are higher now.  He was the only person I trusted for big decisions.  He’s the one I miss when surroundings change as we used to adapt together.  

I just had to rejoin AARP to keep my lower insurance rates.  Because the cars are now only in my name, they took him off the membership.  It stings every time he gets erased a little more. 

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19 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I relate totally, Marg.  I’ve spent a lot of time recently with repairs, tasks, seeing places we used to go close or change to something else alone now.  The  places that remain that I cannot go to anymore.  I get very brief periods wondering why I am so messed up I went to disappear and the answer is so simple.  My reason for being is gone forever.  This isn’t  like a friend that has moved away or a divorce.  This man is gone from existence and especially mine.  His friends miss him but in no way as I do. They spent maybe a cou0le hours a week with him, not 24/7.   Everything has become more complicated.  The news of possible back surgery has me terrified and can’t see doing alone if I wanted to.  I can’t discuss the pros and cons with him and there are a lot the surgeon didn’t bother to mention.  I just know that all the speed bumps of life are higher now.  He was the only person I trusted for big decisions.  He’s the one I miss when surroundings change as we used to adapt together.  

I just had to rejoin AARP to keep my lower insurance rates.  Because the cars are now only in my name, they took him off the membership.  It stings every time he gets erased a little more. 

Gwen, my heart goes out to you.  I know what you are saying.  I had that feeling just getting knee surgery...I needed him so much and as it's taking me some time to recover I miss him so terribly.  You will be in my thoughts.  I wish there was some way to make this better.  If you find it, will you share.....take care, Cookie

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On ‎02‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 7:18 AM, iPraiseHim said:

Three Years today.   Shalom

You are in my heart and thoughts.....Cookie

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It's been a long time since this thread has surfaced.  I have to say I miss seeing George post on it.  

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We all know the battles each of us face, and family  battles.  We share.  Sometimes we see things we wish we had not seen, but we hope the person we have grown to know (on paper) is as intelligent as he or she seems on paper.  Then we have silence and we can read into it two ways, either they are having too hard a time coping or they are moving on from their hardest grief.  We hope for that.  Until we hear, just like with the young English mother, living in Brussels in a terrorist time, we can hope and pray they  are okay.  (And Kay, I hope you are better today).  

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