Jump to content
iPraiseHim

Shock and Awe after two years...

Recommended Posts

George, that has to be a very special memory! And here I thought my and Dana's 7 1/2 hour phone call was long! We started after 9pm and went until after 4:30, but that does not hold a candle to your record. I just wish I had taken more notes during our calls. I often wrote down favorite authors, quotes from her family or other snippets like that, but much of what we talked about is fading. I have a notes file on my home and work computers, and add anything that comes to mind, but I wish so much I had more. Thanks for sharing.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think Mitch and Tammy had some all-nighters as well!

George and I got to know each other through writing, but his voice was the best sound I ever heard, I couldn't believe how soothing it was the first time I heard him!

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Twenty nine years ago day, Five. ... It was the first we saw each other since we met. This is the third time around this calendar and I am thankful that these good memories help to override the pain and loss of Rose Anne.  I just strive to take each day as it comes. My purpose in sharing is to let others know there will be better days with less grief.  I still have my struggles....

 

Seems trivial but it really set me off today...  Someone shared a beautiful picture of a Mexican dish (Ketogenic type).  I simply typed, "Recipe?"  A group administrator commented that "We don't usually post recipes and it would be nice if you said Please first".   I apologized for my rude impoliteness and inability to correspond correctly to the group and asked, "PLEASE remove me from your group".  I don't know if I'm just overly sensitive or that just don't want to put up with the grammar, politically correctness people. ... It's been a tough work week. 

Edited by iPraiseHim
Wisdom
  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

George,

Actually, you're neither overly sensitive about this, nor were you impolite in typing a one-word question. On the other hand, the admin was definitely impolite. And coming from a service to others family, IMHO he or she got it all wrong. They should consider you and the other members of the group as their 'customers,' and thus showed extremely poor customer service. I love your response -- It perfectly makes the point, while gently (I think) correcting their behavior.

Besides, with the way communication today shortens every statement to acronyms (IMHO above, plus LOL, OMG, WTH) and brief responses, 'Recipe?' is a more than adequate question. So they were definitely out of line.

Now, I must confess to being a member of the Grammar Police, but I only notice, I don't correct. And I certainly don't publicly chide anyone who is sincerely expressing themselves. Now, if someone asks me to check their work, the red pencil comes out, but they are forewarned! This I can credit to my Dana. 33-plus years ago she taught me to proof, re-read and proof my work again and again. We both worked as typesetter-compositors for Raleigh's daily newspaper. I saw a good number of reporters and editors come to her to ask her opinion about the way they wrote something on a regular basis. It irritated our boss, but he was essentially out-ranked by the senior editors, so he kept it mostly to himself. Most of my posts here are gone over several times before I post. And still some things slip by.

Thanks for the 'Twenty nine' posts, I smile as I read of the way your love progressed for both of you. Mine took more than a year of getting to know her before I pulled up enough courage to ask Dana out back then.

  • Upvote 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, DaveM said:

Now, I must confess to being a member of the Grammar Police, but I only notice, I don't correct. And I certainly don't publicly chide anyone who is sincerely expressing themselves. Now, if someone...

Dang, case in point to my last post above: She impressed upon me to not repeat words and phrases in the same paragraph unless for specific effect, and look what I did. This is why I don't publicly correct the grammar of others. I winced when I caught this afterward. I usually go back and edit when I catch myself, but may as well make a point.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, DaveM said:

Now, I must confess to being a member of the Grammar Police,

Dave, being southern myself, and having extensive training trying to please doctor's and clean up their grammar for over 40 years, I became very sensitive to word usage.  Then, I decided to just let it all "hang out" now because I don't have to correct anything.  (I'm retired more than once). Someone mentioned disliking the word "ain't" which is used wrong and aggravates some people.  Most people try to use proper English, and my sister (college language arts teacher) wanted to rewrite Billy's obituary.  His obituary was long, but it was not an English composition.  It was something he would have liked.  I would not change a thing on it.  

And in daily talk (most everyone I know talks in the same language I use), if someone notices my southern dialect, that will only make me exaggerate it more.  I have typed so many doctors with English as a second language, I now consider my southern drawl with its peculiarities as my English as a second language.  

We once had a proper doctor come down ever so often and give us a lecture in punctuation and language.  His name was Lowenstein.  (I loved him).  We would all get in a circle and he would reread things.  We only put our initials at the end of reports.  I mentioned something to him and he said "which one are you?"  I said I was "mhm" and he said "I remember you, you are the one who keeps changing my punctuation."  I told him that he and I did not agree sometimes.  He told me "I appreciate your right to disagree, but from now on put it where I say put it."  And that is exactly what I did.    

My cousin retired from a state college.  She had her PhD.  She was an English teacher.  My sister also teaches in college, a primarily black college in our state.  I notice my cousin now writes like she wants to.  If she wants to leave a participle dangling, it just dangles right on.  If she wants to leave a run-on sentence, she just lets it run-on.  There are words we are not supposed to end sentences with, but at this point in life, who cares?  We southerners use a lot of wrong words, but mostly if you cannot see us pointing at the subject, you will understand.

Which reminds me.  My granddaughter and I tried to break Billy's habit of pointing.  Never could break him.  Like me, if he thought it aggravated either of us he was going to do it more.  Finally, he started shoving his elbow out to do his pointing.  Wish I could see him do that comical thing a few more times.  

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're having a tough time George.  It would seem that so much in this world is set to break us.  I don't know what people mean when they say that surviving the loss of our true love makes us into better selves.  So many days are difficult beyond description and I don't see or feel myself becoming an improved me.  Perhaps I am not there yet.  My impatience seems to be getting the better of me in several ways.

I truly appreciate and look forward to your love story installments.  Your life with Rose Anne is so beautifully described. 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Entirely healed or permanently broken? article from Megan Devine

"We’ve got this idea that there are only two options in grief: you’re either going to be stuck in your pain, doomed to spend the rest of your life rocking in a corner in your basement wearing sack cloth, or you’re going to triumph over grief, be transformed and come back even better than you were before.

Finding that middle ground is the real work of grief – my work, and yours. Each of us, each one of us, has to find our way into that middle ground. A place the doesn’t ask us to deny our grief, and doesn’t doom us forever. A place that honors the full breadth of grief, which is really the full breadth of love".

 

 

 

 

  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Twenty nine years ago day, Six. 

 - Shalom, George

 

Edited by iPraiseHim
Wisdom
  • Upvote 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love your remembrances George.  I wish we all could have had longer "happily ever afters" and we miss them so much.  

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nostradamus predicted a lot that didn't happen. :D  I'd rather not know dire predictions, if my world is going to end, not much I can do about it so why worry over it?! :)

I love hearing about your courtship, George, it's very precious.  Someone asked me why I haven't talked much about OUR "falling in love" period, I guess I feel it's like walking on hallowed ground, sacred, private, special to just the two of us.  If I let someone in enough to talk about those memories, it's because I feel close enough to them to do so.  Those memories are forever special to me, I will not forget one iota of them, but they were between George and I, like we were in our own little corner of the world where no one else could infiltrate.  We're all different in how we share and what we share.  But I love reading about your memories, it's like being privy to a special scene in a movie, only it's real.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2017 at 11:05 AM, kayc said:

I love hearing about your courtship, George, it's very precious.  Someone asked me why I haven't talked much about OUR "falling in love" period, I guess I feel it's like walking on hallowed ground, sacred, private, special to just the two of us.  If I let someone in enough to talk about those memories, it's because I feel close enough to them to do so.  Those memories are forever special to me, I will not forget one iota of them, but they were between George and I, like we were in our own little corner of the world where no one else could infiltrate.  We're all different in how we share and what we share.  But I love reading about your memories, it's like being privy to a special scene in a movie, only it's real.

kayc,

I understand. Each of us deals with our grief in different and unique ways. I  am an introvert and let very few people into my world.  They are precious memories and some I have kept to myself because they are special to us. It is a phase and cycle in my life I never planned or expected to share. I sense it is helping me to deal with grief on another level. I believe each of us who loved deeply are searching for the path through this grief.  If I felt it was offending someone then you would see the post disappear....done.

I started reading the book, " OPTION B" by Sheryl Sandberg.     It is an excellent read and has some really good points about grief.  The three traps that she speaks about: Personalization, Pervasiveness, and Permanence  are excellent points to help the newly bereaved. My heart must be ready to hear the message.  Many of us can get stuck in different  areas and me.  I am looking forward to the time when I can experience genuine Joy.  It still seems a distant place. 

I ask for prayer for my sister who is having her heart procedure on May 16th, my Father's first cataract surgery on May 24 and there are some confusion, balance, medicine, treatment issues to sort out with him.

Last night was the final class of The Financial Peace course and the best lesson: talking about true stewardship.  Then this morning, I'm listening to the Blaze radio and they are talking about true stewardship.  - Shalom

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, iPraiseHim said:

I ask for prayer for my sister who is having her heart procedure on May 16th, my Father's first cataract surgery on May 24 and there are some confusion, balance, medicine, treatment issues to sort out with him.

Image result for our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Sending healing prayers for your sister and father, George.  Bless you all.

When my father had cataract surgery the biggest problem was for him to do the drops without damaging his eye.  His fingers were so stiff and numb feeling he actually poked his eye enough that they had to stitch the incision closed and they said he was very lucky that it didn't get infected.  Dad was 84 and my 72 year old mother had just left him.  He was heartbroken and didn't know what was going to happen.  They did divorce but remarried after about 18 months.  The marriage lasted 9 months and she left again, for the last time.  Incidentally, he had hernia surgery 3 days before that and was dehydrated and quite confused about what was happening when he called me.  He passed in 2003 at 91 years 5 months.  I miss him every day.  I don't have a relationship with my mother as she is very toxic, she is still alive and is 91 years 4 months old.  I'm glad she has lived long enough to experience the same symptoms of old age that she disbelieved my father suffered.

 

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Marita,

Thanks you for your prayers and I am saddened by how your Mom treated your Father.  I'm praying for healing of your heart as I hear your pain.  No one deserves to be treated like that.It's sad that hurting people hurt people especially when it is the ones we love.  - Shalom, George

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

George, you've got it, we'll pray for your sister and your dad, and are hoping for the best possible outcomes.

Marita,  That is so sad for your dad.  How hard!  This is what I don't understand is how people can have such utter disregard for the person they vowed to be with, the person that has stuck by them!  I've been on the receiving end of that, and it makes me treasure the time I had with my George all the more because I see how rare he is.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

George, your family is prayed for.  We are having a very hard time ourselves.  Had Bri at the ER last night and "Thank the Lord" our ER accepts the medicaid from AR that her mother has on her now.  She will be 18 in two months.  These impacted wisdom teeth make her think she is dying.  Have to find another therapist, went the limit with the other and with her mother's medicaid/medicare changing states so often when she gets 18, I will have her on mine.  

Marita, none of us know what problems our families have had.  I came across the date my mom passed away in August.  She was my mom.  We are supposed to honor our parents according to the 10 commandments, but honestly, that is not the only one I've broken.  I have not killed anyone yet, but I've sure wished harm on people.  I wonder if that is like the one that Jimmy Carter got in trouble with about looking and lusting after another woman being the same as adultery.  I hope Rosalind forgave him that little slip of the truth.  

Anyhow, my hope is for health for all of us and our families.  George, your family will be on my heart.

Please Lord, give peace to Butch's family.  Sometimes you don't know what to say in tough times because words do not always help.  And being in my prayers and heart from such a long distance does not help either.  But, ya'll have it anyhow.  

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another stressful day, Work cancellation, phone overheating, no texting in or out and then the screen goes into elementary mode ( No Apps visible and hard to operate the phone).

Spent three hours on the phone trying to get the phone fixed. The company will be sending a new sim card in a couple of days.  If that doesn't fix the problem then they will be sending another phone.

Then my sister called tonight, frantic that someone has sold my Dad another home security system.  ( He already has one.)  I just visited him last night. He was complaining of having no money yet bought another system...  They sold him on how safe it would be for him to see who is at the front door.  ($72 month).  His current system is $15 month.

Also my sister is really pushing hard for me to stay with my dad after his cataract surgery because she is afraid he would be off balance .It is not my idea of how to spend my birthday but it will give her peace of mind.   There is no place to sleep and I use a CPAP and have to get up early for work the next day.  I live a half hour away.  My sister is  5 minutes away... Now i need to get some rest for work two full long days ahead...

Life marches on... Shalom  

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry for all your troubles, George. You have way to much on your plate, and my heart reaches out to you. You are in our thoughts and prayers . . .

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let us hear how things go George.  Our hearts are with you..

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh George!  I'm so sorry, it sounds like you are having Alexander's Terrible,Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!  I hope you get your phone fixed, survive your dad, and things start going better at work.  I'm praying for you, George!

 

 

 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Grief can destroy you --or focus you.

You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it.

But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it.

The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss.

And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life."
Dean Koontz, Odd Hours (Odd Thomas, #4)

  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×