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Patty65

Simultaneous Grief and Love

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As I write this Patty is half way across the pond heading back to Maui to start loading the pod to ship the restaurant and her house to Scottsdale. She made it through her daughters graduation which I was blessed with the chance to see. I met her daughter for the first time. Ron had paid for her college education and I know it hurt Patty for him not to be there to see but I think he was and I bet he did see. He was proud as heck. I am certain of that. Now comes the next hard part which is the dismantling of home and business.  I know this will be a difficult time as well but by mid August it and she will be calling this place home. Of course I didn't tell her much about the heat. It's supposed to reach 120 by Wednesday but who can tell right? In four weeks we will be married on a beach in Maui and that is like a dream come true...........a dream neither of us had, wanted, or expected but it happened just the same. I know all of this happened for a reason, a reason bigger than ourselves. 

graduation.jpg

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Sending blessings to both of you, dear Steve, for recognizing and appreciating your love for each other ~ and wishing you every happiness 

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4 hours ago, KATPILOT said:

... In four weeks we will be married on a beach in Maui and that is like a dream come true...........a dream neither of us had, wanted, or expected but it happened just the same. I know all of this happened for a reason, a reason bigger than ourselves. 

Blessing and peace Steve & Patty.  - Shalom:wub:

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This will be a bittersweet time for Patty, so much happening at once.  I don't know the weather in Maui but I've lived in Phoenix, it's HOT.  It must have been very poignant to see her daughter graduate, I know how I felt when my son did.  It's hard not having that person there to watch with you.  Good luck on all of the impending moving!

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So much has happened since I last posted and free time has become quite a rare commodity. Hopefully we will have time in the future but opening Maui Pasta is no small task. Hopefully we will have a lease that we can live with by the end of next week. Patty is understandably gun shy when it comes to landlords. I wonder why. 

In dealing with simultaneous grief and love we had our first experience when my wedding anniversary came up. So we went out to dinner instead of years of me going out by myself. Those days will still come and they will always be a part of our lives so it helps that we can be together for each other. I am grateful that I do not have to deny that part of my life. This Saturday we will go out to celebrate the one year anniversary of the day we met. That would be the day before last years art auction. I cannot believe how fast this  year has gone. Who would believe that all this could happen.

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Wishing well with Patty's upcoming lease, do let us know how it's going as it goes alone.  Have you found a place yet then for it?
Wedding anniversaries are hard...ours is coming up in three weeks.  I've never stopped missing him and wish so much he was here to enjoy retirement with me.

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It looks like we have a place secured and the POD with Patty's kitchen in it is being delivered to the space tomorrow.  That of course means the horses will leave the gate and we will understand what "busy" looks like.

Speaking of anniversaries,  we never get over them no matter how long it goes on. Those are days we should remember with love and joy as the day they chose to spend the rest of their lives with us. You would think it hard with a complicated life of new marriage and love but somehow it is not. It does however bring about a feeling of joy more than sadness.  I remember two years ago I was in Maui for my anniversary. I know I had driven past Maui Pasta during that time unaware what was soon to happen. I was not yet connected to a man inside who was soon to die of cancer yet not even aware of it. I only new my own loss being on the island knowing it was one of Kathy's favorite places on earth. Funny how lives are connected and destined for something so incredible. I had only been there once on Kathy's fiftieth birthday and if not for her most likely would never have been there. It is interesting to think about the two of us both with our hearts torn out and never looking to find another love yet brought together on this very grief support website.

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I've been wondering how things were going for you two. I'm so happy for both of you. It is crazy to think about how my boyfriends and my hearts were torn out and we both never thought we would be with someone else so special. I didn't find him on this website but we did meet at a grief support group. We have been dating for 9 months now. My 17 year old daughter has finally come around with the whole situation. It has been hard on all of us. Today was a hard day for me. I had to go to the lawyer and sign the final papers for Richards estate.

 

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Those days are always hard Polly. In the future it will happen again that something will need to be dealt with that connects you to Richard and with that comes a flood of memories.   I have learned to appreciate those times because it reminds me of just how important they were and still are in our lives. That love never ends. "ever"  We could write chapters about this subject right?

To love again, to live again is a very big deal.  If there is one thing that gets me it is the fear of loss. We tend to be gun shy when we've lost before and lost with such pain. The hard part is allowing yourself to be vulnerable.  I know I keep referencing the book "The Road Less Traveled" but in it is a chapter "Risk of Loss". I know that you cannot love without risking loss. How you accept that is thing. For me, that is my biggest challenge. There are people right here on this site who are grieving for the second time. Is it courage or perhaps just not stopping our inner voice?  I know I have very little courage. I also know I allow things to just happen. Kathy always said, "If it was meant to be, then it will be". I get that now. When I surrender myself to fate or destiny, life does indeed happen. In fact, no matter what we do or feel, life will continue to happen.

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