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Hi all,

So part of this kind of has to deal with grief and then some of it not (maybe) so bear with me.

I have started going to therapy. Not grief therapy, but real therapy for everything. My anxiety is getting worse and I freak out over some of these most stupid things! I also cannot pay attention for the life of me. If you are talking to me for too long, about anything, I will space off. The therapist thinks I am finding other things to worry about so I don't have to worry about some more of the bigger things. Sounds very plausible to me!

 

Anyway, last month I had to call the EMTS for my mom. She was basically in a diabetic coma when I got home and was luckily able to wake her up. My step dad was out of town so my mom was home alone. I knew something was up because she hadn't returned my phone calls since 9 and hadn't told me goodnight. I get off at 11 pm. I raced home and found her. Her blood glucose was around 20. and for those of you that don't know, normal healthy blood glucose levels should be 70-110 ish. The brain only runs on glucose so she was very close to seizures and death if I had waited an hour or so longer. Scared the heck out of me and I am really thinking about that fact that I only have her left and she could be gone in an instant. We have since found ways for her to contact us (like a medical alert but does not contact the officials). So now I just want to be glued to her side and cant. Its very scary. Could be one of my bigger "issues."

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I'm so sorry about your mom, Shari, and I certainly can understand why you feel so anxious about her health and safety. Good for you for listening to your gut and for checking in on your mom when you did ~ Still, you did all you could do in this situation, and now it's up to your mom to participate more actively in taking good care of herself and her diabetes so you don't have to be so worried about her all the time. There is only so much monitoring you can do, after all. In the meantime, of course you will continue to worry about her ~ and I think that is completely understandable. In any event, it's good to know that you are willing to work with a therapist on those bigger "issues," and I wish you all the best.

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Thank you Marty! I actually live with my mom currently so that I am very thankful for too, cant imagine if I didn't but now that's going to make me scared to leave! lol

Whats weird is that she is usually very good at taking care of it as she has had it her entire life (neonate) and I think something is just going on in her body because we just now realized that she needs to be taking less insulin because she isn't having many highs, just a lot of lows.

 

Lets just hope I don't get scared and clam up at the therapist! But thank you for your kind words!

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It seems to me it's interlinked with your grief, it affects everything, from worrying about losing those we have left, to anxiety flare ups.  I like what your therapist had to say.

20 is extremely low!  Mine's been down to 50, but never below that, it's a concern I have about living alone and kids not living anywhere nearby.  I've learned to recognize signs of my glucose dropping (my head sweats, esp. the lower back part, and if it continues, I'm drenched in sweat, feel weird, speech slurs, brain can't think right.  I've learned if I see any signs of it dropping, to test it and get sugar in me immediately, followed by protein.  If it's super low, I'd call paramedics immediately!

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Kay, you could be very right. I think it is. I mean the therapist doesn't think all of my issues come from grief, which makes sense but it still plays a large role. I was with a friend the other day and we were talking about your dads, as hers died of cancer as well, about 10 yrs ago. She is ten years older than me so she must of lost him around the same age I lost mine. We were talking about the last moments and omg I cried in public! I thought I had more control than that. I know its fine to cry but wow!

Do you have diabetes? The weird thing with my mom is that she really takes care of it. I mean, Im not just saying that because shes my mom, but she really pays attention. I think her body chemistry has changed because she doesn't need her quick acting at night anymore. She knew something was wrong with her but couldn't figure out how to fix it. Since then, we have gotten Revolar, which tells me and my stepdad that her sugar is low, assuming she pushes the button, so we can keep an eye on her no matter when she is. it has a gps tracker. it doesn't alert the police though but that's fine. I cant be glued to her for the rest of my life but its hard to not get scared. How will I ever leave?! lol

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Yes, I am Diabetic.  I control it through diet and exercise, don't require insulin, but still, I've had to learn to pay attention to the signs of it dropping, which is even worse than elevation.  Mine drops mid-afternoon so I've learned to take my kale smoothies then, that'll tide me over to dinner.  I walk my dog twice a day and that helps too.  I've learned that stress seems to affect it even more than sugar does, and it's when I'm under stress that I have the biggest problems with it, it's easy to control diet and exercise, but stress, that's something else.  Prayer & meditation helps.  Stress seems to elevate it though, whereas you can have real sugar swings with food.

I lost my dad when I was 29 and I honestly think being married and pregnant helped because it gave me something else to focus on, otherwise lord knows how badly it would have hit, it was hard enough as it was.  We just aren't prepared to lose them when we're that young.

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