My boyfriend dumped me a month after my father died.

[Prerna]

My father was my best friend...my support... Everything. We two were the craziest when together. He died a month ago... Everything was so sudden and shocking ...am still not in the state to accept that he is not with me anymore. I can't sleep... and even if I  sleep..I get this feeling that he is going to wake me up and say its all is just a bad dream. M the eldest of the siblings...so now I have the responsibility of whole family...I had to leave my studies to be with my family..This is all too much and very sudden for me. 

But still i was trying to cope up until a week ago my boyfriend dumped me. We have been together since 2009. We used to fight..broke up a lot of times..still it was never this bad. Now when I need him the most... The only man i loved after my father... he left over a petty fight.

Maybe it was too much for him too...i always kept crying and talked about my problems...he got bored maybe. Now when I know he never deserved so many years of my life..I regret every moment spent with him. Also , now I have noone left to fall back on... I can't be weak before my family as  I am the one they look up to for strength.

It's difficult to handle so much at once...m going insane...it's too much.

[kayc]

Normally I would suggest you have your siblings and friends as support but I see you are from a different culture than I am and I am not familiar with how things are in your culture.  Here we have grief support groups, but there they may not be available.  You are doing what you can do by coming here.

I am very sorry for your loss.  I am also very sorry it is interrupting your studies and I hope you are able to return to them once things have settled down a bit.  You will always miss your father, but it's important to continue with your life as well.  Did your parents ever discuss this subject with you?

I am sorry you are considered responsible for the whole family now, that is a whole lot to place on your shoulders.  You don't say how old you are, but I get the impression you are college aged?

I am sorry your boyfriend didn't stick by you through thick and thin after eight years of being in a relationship.  I can understand how betrayed and abandoned you must feel.  I can also understand your feeling those years were a waste because they didn't come to something more, but really they aren't...we learn so much through our early relationships.  Everything we go through helps prepare us for what is to come and who we are.  Try to take the lessons learned from this relationship and all of the good that existed and let go of the bad.  That he would walk out on you when you need him most tells a lot about him...at least you can be glad you found out this before marrying him.

I'm sure you feel overwhelmed, grief is like that, especially in the early grief.  It's what most of us have felt.  I hope you will continue to post and read here.  There are many good articles on this site as well, so I hope you'll peruse this site to see what all it offers.

 

[snowqueen]

Prerena, that is a lot to deal with at once. I am so very sorry you are going through all of this.You sound like a strong individual and are very determined. You are amazing to be supporting your family the way you are. Take a minute and be proud of yourself for that. I can't say I've ever experienced a loss in the same way you have, but I did lose a sister. It's so hard and your heart just hurts all the time. Something important to remember is that it's okay for you to grieve. Grieve your dad and even your relationship with your boyfriend. Everyone grieves in different ways, so find out what works best for you. Is it making some sort of memorial for your dad maybe? Or doing something he loved in his memory? For me, I found a lot of healing in writing. There is a short article about grieving that you might find helpful. I will link it here for you. I pray that you can find healing and renewed life in the face of so much loss. Blessings to you.