Mares Posted October 10, 2017 Report Share Posted October 10, 2017 Hello i am new here and i feel the need to share my story with people who been through same circumstances as me. Even though im asked daily how im doing all i can come up with is im okay. But what im feeling is completely different. On September 15 i lost the love of my life in a car accident. David was a month short from his 25 birthday and two months short from the birth of our baby boy. When David was 18 yrs old he was told he would never have children unless he had a surgical procedure done. Yet on April 4 we found out he were going to be parents, David described that the day as the best day of his life. We were both so full of joy and excitement for God had heard my prayers. David was going to be a great father i have no doubt. I fully don't understand yet why he had to leave so soon and when i needed him the most. But I am blessed for the opportunity to have spent the last months of his life beside him. I had the chance to have experience unconditional love for David was my soulmate. I am trying my best to cope with this heartache, but sometimes it's overwhelming. David will never have the chance to hold our little boy. He will never be able to experience his first steps his first everything's. That's the thing that hurts me the most, he dreamed about having this baby his whole life but now he's gone. There is so many moments we will never be able to experience together. I can't help but feeling angry, sad, and hurt about everything that could have been. I miss him dearly and i feel so lonely without him. If it wasn't for our baby boy i believe i would be lost. I feel like i stopped living when he left. Im holding on to the birth of our baby to bring life back into my heart. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 10, 2017 Report Share Posted October 10, 2017 I am so sorry for your loss. No answers to why but I'm glad you have your son. It's very hard to navigate this journey but we're all doing this together. Welcome here, I hope you'll continue coming here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted October 10, 2017 Report Share Posted October 10, 2017 I'm so sorry for your loss, no words can help. There are people somewhere in this forum that had losses that can identify with this great loss. You have a part of him with you. Yes, you were left with a blessing and there are young people on this forum too.. Cling tight to that part of David you do have left. My heart is with you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted October 10, 2017 Report Share Posted October 10, 2017 Mares, when my son calls, and he tries to call every day, I still get a jolt, he sounds so much like Billy. He is in Louisiana with me right now, but he will go home tomorrow. He has his own relationship of nearly 11 years that he has troubles with. But, one day, down the line (they grow up so fast), you will hear David and you too will get a jolt. My son is middle aged now, and I am sure older than you and David were. I am just so glad you have part of David. Now, when Scott leaves, I will be depressed for awhile. I have my granddaughter with me though. I have not thought about it, but one day she will probably leave me too. Our hearts are with you. It does not matter how long you were with them, the love lingers on long after they are gone. I wish I could remember my grandmother's words exactly, they are written down in a book she wrote for all her ancestors, but 18 years after my grandfather passed she said the pain was like yesterday. She had known heaven on earth and would not know that kind of happiness again until she was with him again. I feel the same way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mares Posted October 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 Just like David told me whenever we found out about our baby "you will never be alone." I am grateful to have this little part of him to give my love to. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted October 14, 2017 Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 Hello Mares, I am very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, and being pregnant. Hold on to your baby in hopes that he will bring your heart back to life. I don't know if you want to read a book, there is one of a young widow and pregnant too, I read some parts years ago. Here is the link https://www.amazon.com/Companion-Through-Darkness-Inner-Dialogues/dp/0060969741 This is a safe place where you can share your grief. I came here three years ago when I lost my boyfriend. Peace. Ana 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mares Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Thank you I've actually been looking for something to read and i just purchased the book. I feel so alone, I feel like many people don't really know what im going through. I hope I can get some understanding of how a person can get through such pain like the one im experiencing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Mares, condolences of course...For you, nutrition is so important and the Grief process we tend to forget to eat....so for you its doubly important......Just for you to find your way here is good....take care Kevin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 I'm glad you've found your way here too. I hope the book helps you. And if you find you can't eat try healthy smoothies, they were a lifesaver to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mares Posted October 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 My blood work did come back with anemia and my blood pressure has been low. Im currently taking extra vitamins to help. I do know I have to keep in mind my nutrition. It's hard sometimes to remember when there's so many other things In my life that have now changed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 If the vitamins don't do it, there's always B-12 shots, they saved my sister's life years ago, for some reason her doctor didn't think of it until I suggested it. It depends on how severe the anemia is. Yes, it's hard to think of things like eating. I hope they are keeping a close eye on your blood pressure too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 Dear Mares... Your optimism is inspiring .. your son will surely be a beautiful blessing in your life.. So very sorry for your tragic loss.. I am in Indiana visiting my daughter and her family. About 16 mos ago I lost my husband, her father. This morning we were talking about life and tragedy.. it's so hard to understand why one person experiences tragedy and another may not.. We all experience loss...eventually.. Perhaps it is simply a reminder for us as to what truly is important. Hugs to you and your sweet baby.. Please take care of yourself in every way... he needs you. sending much love - Marie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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