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Annabella

He"s sick....but Im falling apart

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Hello.....My Husband had appt with specialist yesterday.   Now I feel liked |Ive crashed.  It was not bad news...he needs to go back on medicine to keep CA at bay but the stress that leads up to these appointments that we try to stay strong about gets to you after a while.  I have called in sick to work today just so I can have downtime with myself and rest.  We are doing all we can but there is still that underlying uncertainty that we have been reminded of.  He carries on like normal but I feel like I need a day to myself. So I have taken a mental health day to be by myself and I have told myself that i will not feel ashamed about it.....but i still am and i feel such intense loneliness sometimes.  Just want some reassurance today I guess.  I am doing the healthy thing for our family and keeping them posted on their dads condition.  basically we could have many years together still but sometimes the responsibility to keep all informed weighs on me at times.  I am trying to do the right thing as Ron and I go through the journey of a terminal cancer together.  It weighs on me tho.

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Annabella,

Sometimes it is harder on the loved ones than on the person themselves, if your husband has accepted what is, that could be what's happening, it's very hard for US to accept.  You did well to call in to work and give yourself a day.  Is there someone you could tell news to and let THEM pass it on to the others?

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I'm so sorry both of you are going through this.  I cared for my husband several years before melanoma took his life.  He also suffered from some other issues, and during those years our oldest daughter died too, of breast cancer.  So I have an idea of what you are feeling.  We had a great deal of support, however, from both my church and his church, and pastors who cared and came to pray with us.  That was so encouraging!   Somehow, with God's help, I have survived and continue to find meaning in my life.  Here are some resources that may help and support you as you take this journey:  https://list.ly/list/1CNK-resources-for-families-facing-terminal-illnesses.  I pray for comfort and strength for you both through your love for each other and God's love for you both.

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thank you Kayc.  You bring up a good point.  I supposeI could ask Ron himself to keep our children posted.  He seems OK about it and it may be helpful for them to hear things from him instead of me all the time.  Thank you for caring.

|Mary thank you for validating my need for a day off....I dont know why i tend to feel guilty when its a mental health day but I forced myself to do what was needed for myself anyway.  It all worked out well for me.  I went to work today and they asked if I could start earlier and because I came in earlier they put me on Overtime Rate of pay...bonus.  I was also able to tell a close coworker the reason for my absence and she totally understood.  Thank you Mary ...I will look up those resources.

 

Foodcooppres....Thank you for your prayers and the link.   Sorry for your losses.  We are never alone when we have God on our side.  thank you.

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