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Tom,. I am afraid I still feel only sadness when thinking about all we did together.  It has been over 2 years and I am still so very sad.  I will never go to another play.  That was something WE did.

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11 minutes ago, Gin said:

That was something WE did.

Gin, our RV Billy bought seven months before he left is finally gone.  The only home I ever cried about was when we had to settle back down in the stix and brix home and be homesteaders again.  We had to so we could help save our son, but when they were pulling our Holiday Rambler home away, I cried.  It was beautiful, comfortable (for two people) and meant freedom.  Lots of history since that date.  Strangely, I have gone against everything "we" would have done and fought down following "our" path we had planned.  I am him, he is me, but I feel the loss.  Bought everything new but the bed.  Time for it to go too.  Memories are good when they do not cut like a razor blade.  I try to stay away from the blade as much as possible.  Not always possible.  Strange feelings.  Rode around my old home before I met Billy and cried constantly.  Rode down where his folks came from and enjoyed the ride.  My granddaughter teases me about my memory.  I am not worried.  She bought me a Tee-shirt that said "If i don't remember it, it didn't happen."  That about says it all.  

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33 minutes ago, Gin said:

Tom,. I am afraid I still feel only sadness when thinking about all we did together.  It has been over 2 years and I am still so very sad.  I will never go to another play.  That was something WE did.

Gin, that is sad. My counselor and some bereaved friends tell me that eventually I'll be able to enjoy the memories instead of just feeling the loss. At 11 ms I'm far from there and find it hard to believe I can get there,  but thought you might be. I know everyone's trajectory is different. Sailing was OUR thing but last summer I kept it up at a reduced level, taking friends for day sails with no cruising. I did OK on the water but afterwards I'd go to where we'd have our post-sail coffee and cry.  I'm going to do it again this summer, hoping to do at least an overnight, but I'm not sure I'm ready to share the intimacy of a 33' sailboat with a non-Susan. My counselor says this is good and that I'm "brave" but I'm afraid it's just my inability to change. "Creature of habit". But not to beat myself up, I DO love everything about the ocean, so maybe I can continue to enjoy it sailing on it. I know Susan would want that.

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21 hours ago, TomPB said:

maybe I can continue to enjoy it sailing on it. I know Susan would want that.

I hope so, Tom.  Only one way to tell is to try it.  And if it's not right at first, try again later when more time has passed.

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