Just lost my Dad on 4/30

[Eli05GT1]

Hello Everyone,

I always thought that I would be burying my parents when they are old and gray, but I found out we have no age limit. I just lost my dad 5 day's ago and I miss him so much. My heart is so empty right now I can barely get through my day's.

My dad was 57 year's young and The Lord called his name. My dad did have health problems early in his life, he had diabetes, COPD, and heart issue and he was very overweight. For the past few years my mother sister and I have tried to get my dad to fix his ways, to stop smoking and try to live a healthy life. He was a very stubborn person and always put things off , he would only go to the hospital if it was very serious, I think everything just caught up to him over the years and ended up having a massive heart attack, with my sister found my dad in the bedroom. 

We are very saddened over the situation and I don't know how to deal with it, of course I lost grandparents but never my mom and dad.

I just hope he isn't in anymore pain, and is watching over us, especially his three-year-old grandson who he loved very much. 

We just we just did our final goodbyes last night and when I try to be strong for my mother and my sister ended up breaking down I feel like we should have done more to help him, I feel like we just gave up. Any advice on how to cope and deal with this I would appreciate it. I understand is the easy to lose a parent at such a young age.😥😥

 

Thanks,

Eli

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I was 29 when I lost my dad to heart trouble.  He had his first major heart attack when he was 45, that's way too young.  He was never overweight, his family had diabetes but he didn't.  

Giving your mom regular visits can be a help to her, calling her regularly, it doesn't have to be all the time, you'll have a life to live of your own, but something she can look forward to and just know she still has someone who cares.  I used to take my kids and go see my mom about once a week, not everyone can do that, but we were about 60 miles away so it was doable.  My mom also appreciated that I talked about my dad to her, she said most people pretended like he never existed so they wouldn't upset her but she said it's not like he wasn't on her mind every day.  Now I'm in that situation and I know how she feels, my husband died 13 years ago next month.  It means a lot to me when people remember him.

But it's not just your mom's grief, you have your own grief, just different from hers.  Be kind and understanding of yourself, grief can be hard, give yourself the same understanding and patience that you would to a friend.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2011/10/helping-grieving-parent.html

[MartyT]

Kay has given you some excellent advice, and I hope you take her words to heart. I too lost my dad way too soon, when I was only 34 ~ but when you love your dad, losing him to death at any age is way too soon. I'm so sorry for the pain I know you're in now.

You might find this article helpful: Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song. See also the Related Articles and Resources listed at the base. ❤️