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A&K

Caleb’s difficult journey

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Caleb is inpatient again at Yale children’s hospital because he self harmed himself.  His bipolar and depression is super bad again.  My husband and I are so angry that God has put our sweet boy through this agony.  He needs to get stable enough to return home.  It just breaks my heart.  On top of the psych issues he doesn’t understand why his Grammy and Grampy died and his big brother and little sisters.  We are all heartbroken.  💔😢

Katie. 

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I am so sorry to hear this yet again, Katie, but relieved that Caleb is in a safe place right now.  I will not suggest that you not be angry with your God at this time.  I don’t think there is a person who has experienced a great loss not lashing out at a God.  I remember the phrase “Thy Will Be Done” and have never been comfortable with it.  I don’t accept that we can say the phrase and mean it when we have lost a loved one let alone multiple loved ones.  I think we all have ‘blamed’ God for something in our lives at one time or another.  It is difficult enough for adults to try to understand death so I don’t think a child can understand either without patience, compassion, and good grief counseling.    

I pray that your family holds each other very tight and believe that those of us here are right with you.  There just are no words. 

Anne

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I cannot say it any better than Anne has said it, dear Katie. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious family. ❤️

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17 hours ago, A&K said:

Caleb is inpatient again at Yale children’s hospital because he self harmed himself.  His bipolar and depression is super bad again.  My husband and I are so angry that God has put our sweet boy through this agony.  He needs to get stable enough to return home.  It just breaks my heart.  On top of the psych issues he doesn’t understand why his Grammy and Grampy died and his big brother and little sisters.  We are all heartbroken.  💔😢

Katie. 

Katie,

Although it is not my belief that God "does things to us", I do remember that early grief after I'd lost my husband, feeling angry with God.  I came through it realizing He was there all the time for me, but He understood my anger and grief and He had broad shoulders and could take it.  I appreciate Anne's reminder about that.  Our feelings are just what they are...feelings.  Something to get through and not something to deny.  You and Allen and Caleb have had a lot to deal with and I can only imagine the labyrinth you must be trying to make your way through.

Praying for Caleb and for your family and hoping for some peace to come soon.  Love to you all.

Kay

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Thanks ladies.  I’m not really angry anymore.  I just am sad and broken that Our son Has to face these challenges now and the rest of his life.  Mental illness is no joke.  And obviously runs in family with both of Allen’s parents.  

Thank you for your kindness as always. 

Allen and I had a session with Caleb at the hospital today.  

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33 minutes ago, A&K said:

 I just am sad and broken that Our son Has to face these challenges now and the rest of his life.  Mental illness is no joke.

Indeed not, dear Katie ~ but it's good to know that you're taking this seriously and giving your boy the professional help he needs and deserves. ❤️

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How did the session go?  I'm glad you have each other to go through this with, it'd be hard alone, I know you have a lot of work ahead of you and you're in my constant prayers.

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