Coping Am I Going Crazy Or Is This Normal?

[sufferindon]

Hi Don here,

Today I am having one of the worst days yet. I am not sure why.

I woke up this morning feeling wiped out. I slept ok so i know i'm not tired. I woke up and made coffee like always do then out of know where came the tears. I consider my self a tough skinned guy. I know it's ok too cry but not sure why I creid and like it happened four or five times today. Yestersday was good day I got alot done, but today I feel like i took 3 steps back insted of moving foreward. Is this normal?

I also need to find a job and I kow that has been on my mind alot as well. I'm tryng to take it easy and be good to my self. But I miss my wife so much.

I will appreciate all feed back thanks. Don

[Penny]

Don...my heart goes out to you. Grief can make one feel as if they are going crazy. I know for a fact...I've been through it. I was to the point to where I searched for every article I could find on the internet dealing with the effects of grief. I was very glad to find that the feelings I was having were very normal.

Even after 4 months down this painful road....I still have a lot of the feelings.

Some days are easier while others seem unbearable.

May you find peace and comfort soon.

[kiakaha44]

Dear Don, and Penny...

everything you feel is a normal reaction in your grief. There will be many days where you will lose ground and go backwards. This month will make it 18 months without my husband...I still take 3 steps forward and two back.

I have finally learned to let those moments of tears and pain and agony just come, and allow myself to go with the emotion I am feeling.

I am well aquainted with the flight or fight syndrome. You want to run somewhere and hide from that awful pain inside of you. I am battling that as I speak. But I know that there is nowhere to run to.

Grieving is hard physical, mental and emotional work. It drains you of all feeling and leaves this nothingness that numbs your very soul.

But with each wave that passes, you become just a little bit stronger. With each passing day that inner core of yours is building layer upon layer...even if you don't feel it...and even if you don't want it.

I am living proof(literally) that it will and does become easier with the passage of the days. No one could have told me that just a few weeks ago.

I am not trying to minimize your feelings. I am telling you to let yourself feel everything, let yourself cry, yell, rage...everything. This is your journey, and each one is road that only you can and must g odown. Yes, it hurts, I know.

I am sending out great big (((((HUGS))))) to you. I have a candle lit in my heart to show you the way.

" courage doesn't always roar. courage is sometimes the quiet voice at the end of the day that says: i'll try again tomorrow."

This quote I got from someone off of the grief website I used to be on. It became my mantra for living. Keep trying....