Holidays

[shell]

Benita,

Wow, swimming with the dolphins....oh, how wonderful! Good for you to want to do that! Your friends remark cracked me up...thanks for the laugh. Happy belated Birthday.

Hugs, Shell

[magdalyn]

I never did spend any holidays with my dad that I can remember. My parents got divorced when I was five, and he was not around much after that. But that doesn't seem to be stopping me from not wanting to participate this year. Besides grieving his loss, I guess I am grieving the relationship that we never had. Typically, I am so excited when October hits, because I decorate the house for fall, then Christmas comes around and I decorate for that. But this year I haven't even done the fall decorations yet. I don't know why but my heart is not in it. I have felt myself getting more depressed these last few days. I went to a counseling appointment a few weeks ago, and the counselor said I seemed to be dealing with the grief issues okay. (Maybe she just caught me on a good day!) But now a depression is hitting. So what I did today after dinner was worked out on my elliptical trainer for 45 minutes. Believe me, it was hard to get on that thing. And trust me I did not feel like doing it at all! But I felt better afterward. So I guess my advice would be try to incorporate some physical activity if you start to get too depressed. And as for the holidays, I guess I'll just have to wait and see if I start to feel more into it. One nice thing is that my aunt (my dad's sister) invited us to Thanksgiving in San Luis Obispo. I heard it is really pretty there! So maybe just the change of scenery would be nice. Take care everyone, and take it slow! The holidays can be stressful enough as it is.

[shell]

Magdalyn,

I'm sure a change of scenery will help. Just doing something you didn't normally do, too. I kind of wish I could just sleep through the holidays. Last year (which was the first without my dad) I tried SO hard to be cheerful anyway, and it was a huge stressor! This year I'm just going to try to glide through and do the best I can, and not worry about it. If I'm happy, fine, if I'm feeling blue, I'll just deal with it. I'm sure I'll feel both!

Hugs,

Shell

[Maylissa]

I haven't even read this entire thread, but I noticed it had to do with holidays...and birthdays ( Happy Belated Birthday, Penny! Sorry I missed your special day....maybe a RUM cake would have been good? ) And Trudy, I feel the same way you do, about the entire cold season, not just the holidays. I'm just dreading that first snowfall, and all the 'firsts' to follow, in all their detail. Fall has been hard enough, thank you very much!

I've thought a LOT about holidays (Cdn. Thanksgiving already passed and managed to get through that one okay, mainly because it was one that was never high on our agenda anyway) and have already decided that I'm only putting up our tree TOP, and decorating it with nothing but my personalized glass memorial ornaments (already ordered and received the newest one for our Nissa-girl), glass angels we got from a funeral home's memorial service 2 yrs ago, and some of Nissa's favourite toys...and that's it. I won't even be doing any baking for ourselves. We're toying with the idea of going to a hotel for a couple of days, too, but nothing's definite yet. A couple we know also really want us to go with them to a city north of here, where she'd be getting a reading done by a medium I told her about (for her departed dad)...but I'm still not sure about that, as I think I'm going to be feeling so depleted as it is, that the thought of travelling for 'fun' and keeping up to someone else's schedule might be too much for me. It's appealing, yet not. I'm also toying with the idea of having this one couple over for a nice meal (seeing as I still have Xmas dishes in the deepfreeze from last year), but can't even decide upon that until it gets closer. I'm so torn between wanting to fill up my time with something or just sit and cry my eyes out from missing our girl and having no one furry left here to shower with love. So I figure the best I can do right now is just wait and see how I feel in a few weeks, although we'd have to make reservations pretty darn soon should we agree to go away. Too many decisions and not enough energy or desire to figure out answers.

Edited October 13, 2006 by Maylissa

[magdalyn]

Shell & Maylissa,

I don't even want to TRY to be cheerful this year, so I can relate. I can just tell already that I don't have that usual pizzazz that i ususally have when the holidays come around. So i guess the best we can do is take it easy on ourselves. I am also way more interested in the "reason for the season" this year, versus the materialistic end of it. I just want to light lots and lots of candles and cry. How morbid i sound!

Hugs,

Magdalyn

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

Talking about holidays, I did manage to get through Thanksgiving Day this year with little pain... I was going to stay at a hotel all alone but I went to see my dog Chelsea who I have not seen for over a month... There actually was about forty five people there and I did not have much fun but I found a room with little people in it and it had a slot machine in it and I sat and played it until I was bored.... It did take some of the loneliness away till it was home time... Take care All and I hope those of us who had Thanksgiving Day all ready did it with little sadness as possible.. God Bless All Shelley

[shell]

Magdalyn,

That doesn't sound morbid at all! I think you're right...we just have to be easy on ourselves and not stress out about it!

Hugs,

Shell

[magdalyn]

Thanks Shell,

Well I am feeling a little better since then. Thanks for telling me I wasn't "morbid". I was in a deep depression last week, but this week I seem to be coming out of it, I think from reading the Bible. But it is still a daily struggle. I actually put up the Fall decorations finally. (for my kids-I guess). But I am really wondering how I am going to get through this whole holiday season. I guess we all are... Just know that we are all here for each other I guess.

Even though my dad passed in August, my grandma is having another memorial for him on Nov 11th. None of his immediate family members were there when he passed (just his kids) so I guess this is their time for closure. It just seems like my whole grief process has been prolonged until then. But I know it will feel so good to be around family. I just wish it wasn't so far away.

God Bless and Keep you,

Magdalyn

[shell]

Magdalyn,

The holidays certainly are a big stress, even under normal circumstances! Adding in the upcoming memorial in the midst of it all is certainly an added stress. But getting to see family sounds like a good thing for you and maybe it will actually make you feel better. When I get panicked about the holidays, I remind myself of the "one day at a time" mantra we all use! I think we all have to just take a deep breath and do what we can and not sweat what we can't do.

Hope things go well at the memorial for you. Take care.

Hugs,

Shell