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Flying Again


STARKISS

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Hi Derek,

I am going to go and I am going to be in some of my parent's favorite places and I am going to go to the place my mom liked to eat and I am going to toast both of my parents... I am going to do the buffet and toast by myself so if I did cry a little so be it.... I will take extra tissue with me for that reason... I really think the only thing now that will push me the way I need to go is doing this trip... I just wish the hotel we stayed at was still there but it was levelled one year after my mom died... I think that if this does not work for me than nothing else will... Wish me luck... Shelley

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Derek,

I'm with you on that. I could have moved if I wanted but any reminders I would avoid would just postpone healing I think. This is the home we made together, it was Linda's pride and joy and I can't imagine it in other hands. Taking good care of it is one way for me to honor her memory.

It is hard sometimes to visit places we used to go together but it's also hard for entirely different reasons to uproot yourself and go to new places and miss the familiar surroundings of what has become home.

I've heard of people not being able to stand living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, etc., and I guess everyone's different but I'd like to think that staying the course has had way more benefits for me than not.

Of course that's always the problem with life, you can't ever be sure ... can't try it two different ways and compare. All I know is staying put has not been a disaster, in fact, really it's been the least of my problems as far as I can tell.

--Bob

You know, I think I find confort in it.

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Hey guys I feel the same way. This house has been ours since 1985 and although it was super small before we put an addition on 2 years ago. We designed it ourselves, selected all the wall colors together, the carpeting, the kitchen cabinets, floors light fixtures, new furniture etc. We had such fun picking out all new things together and realized how much our taste was simular that I can not even imagine anyone else living here. This is not my dream home, I have always wanted a small Cape Cod especially since where I live these are all converted summer homes with most of them not having a basement or garage so that is always a problem with storage. But I know how much Steve enjoyed this house after the work was done and this is our house so this is where I will stay for quite awhile. It is just a shame that without him, it is no longer a home.

Love,

Wendy :wub:

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Thank you All,

Thank you for all your replies, You have helped me decide on whether or not I should go on this trip... I am going to go and I am going to be a little sad but I will get through this because of all of you and your well wishes... Take care Shelley

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  • 4 weeks later...

hi shelley,

i dont know if you remember me i havent been around for a while but i recentley went back to disney after my mum died there in may 2005.It was sad but im glad i did it.

i took diazipan for the flight which did help,at first every time we drove past the hospital i felt sick but on day 11 i plucked up the courage to take a card and some chocolates to intensive care to say thank you to the staff.To my suprise 2 of the nurses who had care for my mum were on shift,they were great,spent about half an hour with me talking about my mum and how i was feeling now,after i left the hospital it had helped greatly.so a big thank you to celebration hospital once again they were wonderful.

I cant promise it will help for you but it did for me.

Im a bit sad this week mums birthday would have been on the 7 th but at least im crying now.

i wish you all the best.

loads of love

amanda

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Derek,

I been in the process of relocating to another city, I couldn't live here anymore, painful as it is, seems a choice one cannot make is to move forward, lately I been taking 10 steps backward wondering if making the decision I made is foolish or perhaps right? Can't think How this can be w/o Myrna. she would be so happy to have a home, one of my dreams shattered. Sometimes its not the best choice.

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William,

I am so glad you checked in today. I was starting to worry about you. I truly think you made the right move with your new house. You could not stay where you were and this will definitely keep you busy. Have you been taking your meds? :ninja:

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

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I have been thinking alot of slowing down and posting, I forget to just tell everyone I am still here. I needed to hear that about moving, in the end it will work itself out. I been taking my meds albeit late but consistent somehow :wub: How you been lately?

Love,

William

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  • 1 month later...

Hi All,

Here I am about to finish the planning stages of my trip to Las Vegas....As

many of you know this is where my mom died... I have not been there since that time.... I feel like I should go back because mom would not want me to stay away...I have been very emotional and most night dream about going to Las Vegas... The dreams not always good ones... I was doing so well but know find myself almost at the beginning again...I keep telling myself things will be all right but feel I am going to lose it when I get there... My sister and some of her friends and some people I know are going with us but I do not want to embarass anyone...Please help me if you can Shelley

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Hi All,

It is me again, I am so very worried about my trip to Las Vegas. I just do not know if I am ready after all. Every night I cry and think of the time I lost my mom... I am going nuts.... I just wonder if it is worth all the emotional things I am going through right now... Take care Shelley

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Shelly, forgive me but how long has it been since you lost her? if less than a year it may trigger some unpleasant moments, and I know that too well also, would you think it would be unacceptable to wait some more before going? Please listen to your heart, obviously it is very overwhelming for you right now and you haven't healed enough to tackle it, I myself avoid hospitals and doctors as that sets me off still. I have you in my prayers :wub:

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Shelley,

It may just be that the closer you get to actually going on the trip, the more nervous you're getting. I can plan something and be fine, but the closer it gets to the event, the more nervous I get. Usually, it goes fine once I get started. It's the antcipation and all the thoughts associated with it.

Please quit worrying so much about embarrassing other people. You probably won't and you know what, even if you did, so what? Life won't come to a stop, the world won't explode...I'm making light of it, but it really is true. I used to worry about stuff like that until all the grief came. Then I just didn't care so much anymore. You have to think about yourself and worry less about others right now. Nine times out of ten, we act fine and worried about something needlessly. Just relax and be yourself, Shelley. Give yourself a break, sweetie.

Hugs,

Shell

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Thank you to everyone for your comments, It is still nice to know people care... After all that I have been feeling there is a chance I will not be going due to not getting my passport back in time... What now???? Take care and thanks again Shelley

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Shelly,

Shell has an excellent point, let worry concern itself, one day at a time, and if you feel happy or otherwise, its OK :wub: I hope you are doing well

Hugs,

William

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you everyone for your replies, The trip will take place just after my mom`s three year anniversary and just a couple months before my dad`s third anniversary... I lost my mom in Las Vegas and have not been back since that trip... I feel that I need to go but have had many dreams since I have decide to go back... The dreams just go over and over the last couple of days of her life... I just do not know what going to happen... TAKE CARE SHELLEY

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Shell,

You are right I will probably think of what she would have done... I really do want to go and maybe seeing new places that have been built it won't be so bad because some of the old places are not there anymore... Take care Shelley

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi All,

As the time grows closer and I thinking of the thought of getting on the airplane to go my emotions are so very mixed...There is ten days till I leave and suddenly I am very scared about the flight and arriving in Las Vegas... Take Care Shelley

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Hi All,

I am having a very hard day today, I am worrying about the trip and my feelings are so vey mixed right now... I feel like crying, laughing and worried all at once... I just feel so confused about the whole thing... I do not know if I want to go for fun or just to see what will happen.... Shelley

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Hi Marty,

Thank you so very much for everything you have done for me... Without you and this wonderful website family I would probably be forever lost... Keep up the good work and thanks for all the time you have spent here for people who you never knew before this.. You are truly amazing... I just think about what I was like before now and think wow how far I came with the support of you and the family here.... Thanks and Take care Shelley

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Here I am just eight days away from my trip and wondering how it will be to go on the plane and arrive in Las Vegas... The thought of getting there gives me a happy, sad, worried, and confused feeling all at once... If I think of how my mom would be when she went there maybe it would help me get through this next adventure down the grief journey... I know that my mom loved this place and maybe if I think of why she loved it instead of what happen the last time I was there than maybe things will be okay... I know if I had died instead of my mom she would do something special on the trip in memory of me so here I am thinking about the bad moments that might happen instead of the maybe good things that could happen... Take care Shelley

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Hi Marty,

I am certainly trying hard to think positive about the trip so when the day comes it will be much better than I had thought earlier.... Thanks again for your support Marty.... Shelley

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