Dreams

[JZ0702]

I took care of my Mom for 10 years after we lost my Dad. There are just too many things to say about that, but the last 5 years were tough on Mom. She lost so much of her independence and I thanked God when she lost her ability to care one way or the other. I had to watch her lose her ability to walk, her ability to talk, her ability to even sit straight in a chair. She died July 31, 2003.

I am now agonized by dreams. In those dreams, I am horrified that I can't find Mom. They are painfully real, I was even ripping up cement on a steep sidewalk with my fingernails in order to try to reach her and I felt the pain of that. Last night, I dreamed that a family member had died, but I couldn't care because I needed to find Mom!

Am I going crazy?

[MartyT]

Dear Friend,

Although I’m not an expert in dream analysis or interpretation, as a grief counselor I do want to assure you that you are not “going crazy.”

Since your dreams stem from the workings of your own unconscious mind, I think you are the expert in interpreting or making sense out of whatever they may be trying to tell you.

At the very least such dreams would indicate that something about your mother’s failing health and death is troubling you, and I want to encourage you to find someone you can talk to about all of this – a trusted friend, neighbor, relative, co-worker, bereavement counselor or support group where you can safely share, explore and come to terms with what happened with your mother and all of your reactions to it. Feelings that are unexpressed and unexplored can become distorted over time, and I think that if now, some nine months after your mother’s death, you’ve begun having agonizing dreams about her, something about this is unfinished for you, and you would be wise to pay it the attention it demands. My hope is that you will find the help you need and that you’ll think of this as a gift you can give yourself.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

[STARKISS]

HI, I TOO ARE HAVING SOME WEIRD DREAMS LATELY, I HAVE LOST BOTH MY PARENTS AND IN MY DREAMS I WAKE UP HEARING MY MOM'S CALL FOR HELP BUT WHEN I WAKE UP I AM SLEEPING IN THE ROOM SHE USED TO HAVE BEFORE HER DEATH. AM I CRAZY. ANOTHER DREAM IS THAT I AM IN A DORM AND HAVE MY DOG CHELSEA THERE BUT EVERYONE IS SCREAMING AT ME BECAUSE THE DOG IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE DORM AND MY DAD IS TUGGING AT THE DOG'S LEASH OUT OF MY HANDS. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I DREAM THIS ONE I HAVE NEVER STAYED IN A DORM

[Eulaha]

I had a strange dream this afternoon, that dealt with my departed mother. I was with some people (family members), and I was told that my mom was at some clinic. So, I went out to go find her. I found her and said, "Mom, I thought you were dead! We were even going to cremate your body!" She didn't believe that I was really happy to see her. Then, I woke up in the back seat of a car, crying. Then, I really woke up. I am really disturbed by the dream, because of the disappointment I felt that my mom wasn't really still alive. I miss her so much.

[STARKISS]

HI THERE,

I HAD THE NIGHT TIME, I JUST WISH I DID NOT HAVE TO CLOSE MY EYES BECAUSE WHEN I DO ALL I SEE IS MY MOM IN THE HOSPITAL BED WITH ALL THE MACHINES CONNECTED AND THAT JUST SCARES ME TO DEATH SO I REALLY DO NOT NEED ANY BAD DREAMS WHEN I SEE THIS EVERY NIGHT. I JUST KEEP GOING OVER HER LAST DAY THAT SHE DIED AND JUST REPEAT IT CONSTANTLY. I JUST WISH I COULD DREAM ABOUT SOMETHING AND MAYBE I COULD SLEEP FOR MORE THAT FOUR HOURS AT A TIME WITHOUT ANY SLEEPING AIDS.