Afraid To Fall Asleep

[CFH]

This may sound sort of strange and I'm a bit embarassed to admit it, but I have found that ever since my mother passed away (about 8 months ago)I have become intensly conscious of my own mortality. But I have somehow become scared of falling asleep. I am slighty paranoid of dying while I sleep, probably because my mother was sleeping when she passed away, and had she been awake it could have probably been avoided. But the biggest problem is that when I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep, and I feel myself beginning to fall asleep I force myself to wake back up because it almost makes me think that I am dying somehow, or that I am putting myself in some kind of danger by falling asleep. Ridiculous, I know. I manage to get to sleep eventually, but it has to sneak up on me if you know what I mean. It doesn't happen every time I go to bed, but it does occur somewhat frequently. Like I said, I know this probably sounds really strange, but has anyone experienced anything like this?

[shell]

CFH,

It doesn't sound strange at all. I think most of us start thinking about our own mortality when we lose a loved one. It's almost impossible not to. As far as your sleeping problem, that is very understandable, since your mom died in her sleep. Since it's not an everyday thing, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure as time goes by, you will find that worry will lessen and your sleeping habits will straighten out. Grief is full of many emotions and feelings and they are all ok! I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hugs,

Shell

[karenb]

CFH....

Our minds sure play tricks on us, don't they? I haven't experienced what you're going through, but something similar. My mother died of cancer when she was 48. Getting to age 48 was difficult for me because I thought I wouldn't make it past 48, just like my mother. Well, I did make it fine but it was a concern. I think you'll find that this will lessen as you become a little more customed to what has happened. I'm sure you'll be fine. Try not to worry about it too much and it will go away. Hang in there.

Your friend, Karen

[WendyJ]

CFH,

I am so sorry you are having a hard time with this. What you are feeling is not strange at all but most of the people I talk to, that is the way they would like to go. How peaceful it must be to pass over in your sleep. Please remember that when the time comes there is nothing we can do about it, as unfair as it is and when my time comes, I want to also go just like your Mom, in my sleep. Hope things get easier for you soon.

Hugs,

Wendy

[CFH]

Thanks for all the responces. Intellectually I know passing in my sleep is probably to easiest way to go, but the idea of not seeing it coming just terrifies me. Of course the idea of seeing it coming also terrifies me, so perhaps I am just scared of dying in general. I actually am finding that as time goes by the problems with sleeping are getting worse, which is troubling.

Karenb: I know exactly what you mean about getting to 48. At this point its gotten so bad for me that I feel I will be lucky if I can make it to 30 (I'm 26 now). Thanks again for responding. CFH.

[Jennie Harrison]

Hi! I have exactly the same thing... Just when I am about to fall asleep I fly up because I think my heart stop beating. My father died a while ago.... his heart just stoped in his sleep. So I was happy to read this because I thought I was going mad, but ofcourse I am sorry for you. But don't worry I have it too, had it for a while now. And every morning I wake up I forget about it, but then comes the night again. Why are the night so hard? Anyway... I am in the same situation as you sweety.

My email: jenassi@gmail.com, if you need someone to speak to....