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Anticipatory Anxiety With My Elderly Dog.


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Hi everyone, I'm new here but I felt encouraged to write this after reading the thread about Chelsea.

I have a lot of anxiety and depression problems, but one of the worst is anticipatory anxiety about my dog, Ginger. Between college and moving several times for work, I've lived away from her for most of the last 6 or so years. She is the most important thing in my life, and I am constantly worried about her. She couldn't have better care than what my parents give her, but I feel so bad about not being there for her. She's 16 now and has some health problems. Being with her is one of the few things that makes me feel better and I don't know how I'll handle it when she's gone. She has terrible seperation anxiety and is used to my mom being at home with her all the time, so it wouldn't be right for her to be with me as I work a lot.

My childhood dog died when he was 8 and I've been worried about Ginger since she was that old. My parents handled it horribly as I didn't know he was really sick and they had him put to sleep without telling me first. I'm always afraid I'll never know if Ginger will take a turn for the worse until its too late.

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I can certainly identify with you because my Holly turned 17 on 11/1/08. She was always a big part of my life but now that Tom is gone she is the only one I have to talk with and keep me occupied when I'm home. She has arthritis but really does well for her age. She still jumps up on the couch or chair and down out of the bay window. I know it is inevitable that some day she will be gone too and in fact thought that was going to happen the day after Tom's funeral, but she's still here over a year later. I just thank God every day for her and dread the day when she goes to be with Tom.

Just enjoy the time you have with Ginger (my first dog's name too).

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Dear One ~ I'm so sorry about your beloved companion's failing health and advancing age. Have you considered talking with your folks about this, so you all can avoid repeating whatever mistakes were made in the past? Sometimes parents mishandle situations like this one in a misguided effort to protect their children from pain ~ but as your story so clearly illustrates, it simply does not work. It may help for you to read this article and share it with your parents, as a way to open a discussion with them about their plans for Ginger: How Do We Tell Our Son His Dog Has Died? See also Thinking it Through: Exploring Questions about Euthanasia.

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What exactly is it that you wish you could talk to your parents about? What would you be saying to them if they were willing to listen to you? You say that Ginger "couldn't have better care" than what your parents are giving her now. What are they doing that you would want them to do differently? If everything went the way you'd like, what would that look like? Is there anything here that you can do differently from what you're doing now? Can you spend some quality time with Ginger, so you can make the most of whatever time you have left with her, and so you'll have those memories to comfort you after she is gone?

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They still aren't willing to talk about Shaggy, my childhood dog, at all. Or say where they buried him or let me have some sort of memorial. I'm so afraid the same will happen when Ginger is gone.

I've never really had much of a social support system and she is everything to me. She has terrible seperation anxiety and it makes me feel really bad that I'm not with her.

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