Jon Deserves Justice!

[JonKoisMom]

I received the Coroner's report regarding the cause of my son's death today and I'm not satisfied with their findings. Jon had Cerebral Palsy, yes. We understand how it's possible to choke on food. I know that was an accident. We already knew that the lack of oxygen to his brain caused him to be brain-dead, and he asperated meat into his lung while being recessitated by the paramedics. The Coroner decided to deem his death an accident. What upsets me and the rest of the family, is the 9 minutes that his heart was stopped. Everyone knows that people working with special needs people need to be state certified in CPR but when I was told that nothing was done from the time he went down until the paramedics arrived...Even his State Case Mgr told me that the report given her was that the 911 operator told them not to do anything. There was no living will. My son loved life, he was happy to be back near family. To think that who knows how many people just stood there and watched him stop breathing for 9 minutes, and no one helped, in my mind, is at the least, gross neglegence let alone a lack of human compassion. I'm really struggling with this. From the time Jon was 7 his grandparents raised him because he needed stability that I knew I would not be able to give him after my divorce. They are now in their late 80's and 90's and I have to think of what a lawsuit would do to them, yet, I feel like there needs to be justice for Jon's sake. I know that nothing will ever bring him back but I also know that I don't ever want another family to lose someone so precious to them because somebody froze on the job! I understand that the Coroner only had the facts at hand to work with but someone has to know what happened. Why would the Group home tell the Case Mgr. that Jon was ok, they were just running some tests? None of this makes sense. Jon is gone, we are all devestated and whoever was supposed to help him just walks away? Those 9 minutes will forever haunt me because if ANYONE had done the hemilich and administered CPR during those 9 minutes, my son could have been here now. If I didn't write this out, it would be playing over and over in my head even worse than it will.

[STARKISS]

Hi JonKois Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss and the way your son was dealt with I think that some people figure that people with special needs are not worth saving or what if something happens while they are trying to save their lives... I think that all people deserve a chance to survive unless there is no way this can happen... I know with my mom she would have never woke up and so we decided to let God take her... But if Jon would have been the same than by all means he should have got the chance... Shelley

[JonKoisMom]

Hi Shelly,

Thanks for your kind words. Jon was such a remarkable young man. Even though he was bound to a wheelchair and needed help, he graduated with his High School class and even went to a community college for two years. This was not an easy task as he had to type all of his work using a headstick. He always had compassion for others and loved people. I think that makes it even harder to think that no one helped him. I've seen other people with diabilities that acted like everyone owed them something and really came across as jerks but Jon was so totally opposite. He made the best of the life he had and always tried to help himself if possible. I know that letting him go was the what we had to do for his sake, but had he received CPR and someone had cleared his airway, he very well could have been here today, his smiling self. I'm still in shock at this point. I cry but it seems like I've always got something distracting me from the grief. My husband just got out of the hospital from having a TIA. He had a full stroke in July of last year so this was scarey. He recovered from the bigger one but he is so much at risk. Then my Granddaughter's Dad, who I adopted in my heart when he was with my daughter, got hit by a car and was left for dead. He was in a comma for a couple of weeks and on top of that, he had Rocky Mountain fever. He ended up losing half of both of his feet and half of one finger. When all of that happened, I felt like I was losing another son. I hadn't talked to him since they split up in Jan. and didn't know if he would even want me to come and see him. He was on the same floor as my husband so I just decided to go for it. He was happy to see me and I him. I told him about Jon and how I felt when I heard he was not expected to live. I did take the step to get in touch with The Compassionate Friends and they sent me a lot of material. I want to grieve for my son. That probably sounds crazy but I feel like I'm just not deep enough into grief to truely deal with my loss. That's why I keep coming back here to face it.