Lost My Best Friend & First Love All At Once

[JellyT]

My fiance Mike was brutaly murdered on Sept. 24, 2003. He was in a coma for 5 days while I was unaware of his situation. I never even got to say good bye. It has been over a year now, and I'm still having trouble not having him here. We had been together for almost 4 years and he was my first love. We didn't even get to have the wedding yet. I am trying to get on with my life, but for so long he was my life and it is hard.

[MartyT]

My dear friend,

Words cannot convey how horrified I am to read of this tragic event in your life, and I can only imagine how devastated you must feel in the midst of all of this.

Given the horrible circumstances you describe, I want to point you to a number of excellent resources (all of which are listed on the Links: Bereavement and Loss Sites page of my Grief Healing Web site, under the category of TRAUMATIC LOSS, but which I want to separate out and list here for your convenience). I hope with all my heart that you will take the time to visit and explore each one of these sites. It is imperative that you understand why you're feeling as you do, that you get connected to some of the wonderful sources of help out there that are available to you, and that you do not attempt to deal with this unspeakable tragedy all by yourself.

The sites I want to suggest to you are these:

Homicide: A Brutal Bereavement

Resources for Death, Grief, and Survivors of Homicide

Reactions to Sudden or Traumatic Loss

I’m pleased to know that you were able to find your way to our online Grief and Loss Discussion Groups, and I hope you will feel free to use this forum to give words to your grief and share your story with others. There is a great deal of caring, emotional support and inspiration to be found here, and you will be among others who know from their own experience the searing pain of grief.

You have a very long and difficult road ahead of you, my dear, and some very heavy burdens to bear, but I hope you'll soon discover that you are not alone in your journey, and that you don't have to carry those burdens all by yourself.

Please know that we are thinking of you, and we are holding you in our hearts at this sad and difficult time.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T