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Well today has been 1 year I woke up at 5:30 crying and couldn't figure out why...than I fully woke up and realized that at exactly 5:30 1 year ago today I lost my best friend...I miss Ben so much but there is nothing I can do...It has been a long hard year with ups and downs mostly downs but for the most part I am dealing with everything....yesterday was a great day got to see old friends went to mass for ash wed...but through it all I kept thinking of Ben I am always thinking of him and everything reminds me of him...tonight my children and I will be hosting a rosary to remember him and praying that God is taking care of him for us...All his siblings will be here and my siblings as well it will be a time of sadness because we lost such an important person in our lifes but it will also be a time of happiness because together we will be remembering a very wonderful person that we all lost!!! My daughter was not able to come from Atlanta with all the bad wheather the flights were canceled earlier in the week and she could get here by 11 but have to leave in the morning as she has to be at work on Sat...so I am sad that she has to be thousands of miles from me during this time and I know that she is very sad...I just want to hold her and tell her how much I love her...I am hoping to go to visit her soon...Ben always told me that I should take a bad day and make it better because only I could control the kind of day that I would be having so today will be a sad day but a very good day because I will be remembering all the wonderful times we had toghether and I will be with our Children and grandchildren as we gather together today I hope that my children and grandchildren can feel there dad and tata holding them tight and telling them how very much he loves them...I feel his precense next to me and I know he is going to help me make it threw today....I love you Ben!!!

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Lucia, I have no doubt that you will make it through this day. A prayer tribute - what a wonderful idea.

Do you ever feel guilty when you say something to God, like please watch over him or take good care of him. Sometimes I say those things and then think I'm insulting the Lord because Tom wouldn't be in heaven if He wasn't taking good care of him. Maybe that's just my quirk.

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Lucia I hope you have the kind of day that brings you the biggest comfort. If you have any thoughts once you get through the day I would love to hear from you. My husband's pasing will be 1 year next Wednesday and I have nothing planned and don't really know what to do other to acknowledge it. I have run a Memoriam in the paper the next weekend but other than that my only expectation is to be exremely sad.

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Well it is 2pm and so far my day is going ok I have had my moments of crying I had been at my son Relles house and my granddaughter who is 4 years old saw me and him sitting at the table crying we were remembering all the events that had led to this horrible day last year and she gave me a hug and asked why i was crying and she said to me "Don't cry nana because tata was never sad he was always laughing and yelling at you because he said you were mean to him cause he didn't like his medicine...." my son and I just looked at her and burst out laughing it is amazing the things they remember and they have a way to put a smile on your face....thank god for my grandbabies....I love them so much....

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I have no doubt that Ben is with you all. And yes, thank goodness for children!

Is it possible to miss your loved one more each day? That is how I have been feeling...again, thank goodness for children. Kailyn is my godsend, Scott's special gift.

Korina

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