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Thank You Everyone


Guest Nicholas

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Guest Nicholas

It is the day after the six-month anniversary and I wanted to say a very big thank you to all who have responded to my posts and especially to those who have been so very kind to send personal messages and emails. In the end I didn't do anything "special"; I had intended to go to my nearest Thai Temple but as that is located in Wimbledon and with the tennis being on, I couldn't face what might have been a nightmare journey. So I lit a candle, and went out, and ironically passed the hospital where my son died.

So thank you everyone who has helped explain things more clearly to me and showed true Buddhist compassion.

The sad journey goes on.

Nicholas

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Guest Nicholas

Thank you; this truly is a sad week, my sister just reminded me that it is three year's today since her son lost his father. My nephew was only 15 at the time. His father and my sister weren't together, they had been partners but had separated a long ago before. He used to be a guitarist in a very well known heavy metal band*, but drunk and smoked himself to death.

Nicholas

*My nephew's late father: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Galley

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Nicholas, you made it through this tough week. We are all with you. This journey through grief seems endless with twists and turns that surprise us and sometimes shock us. I hope the rest of the week goes well for you.

We begin a holiday weekend today...July 4....since our town is a mecca for tourists the traffic begins on Friday and the energy changes. Last July 4 was a disaster so I planned this one pretty well. The heat index today will be 111 so outdoor activity is limited.

I know you don't celebrate this weekend in England...for obvious reasons :) but I do hope the weekend is good to you. Sometimes the fall out is tough too following these anniversaries. Keep in touch if you need to.

Mary

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello Nicholas-next weekend will be the six month anniversary of our son's death. I did not think I could go one week without seeing him, but I am proven wrong. On saturday his friends will have a memorial car club get together and travel around to some of their favorite places and sell t shirts and stickers they have designed to raise money for the foundation we started. We are still showing his car at vw events on the east coast. It does help to have all this activity to be involved in, so I would encourage you to create something in your son's name that will be a legacy. I also have experienced the death of my other son years ago, but his legacy was a three year old son that we have raised who is about to turn 20! So, although each grieving experience was different, a legacy has been an important part of our healing as a family. By God's grace we have survived.

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Guest Nicholas

My son did good charity work in his home village in rural Thailand and helped the poor people and orphans there; he also collected donations to have new doors built for a local temple, so though I haven't seen all this myself, I am sure he is remembered with affection in his village.

I have a memorial website for him and photos on my own website; at some point I shall do a Buddhist ceremony for him. But he lives on in my heart and mind and that is the most important thing for me at the moment.

Thank you for your message.

Nicholas

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Nicholas

How distressing, I have just seen images of my local shops being smashed and looted in London, shops where my son and I would go, destroyed by mindless thugs. It feels like they are taking away a little more of my memories.

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