Fírinne Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 As l'm new here l have been riding the wave of all of your emotions, things that I have been feeling are tearing me apart I'm lost with out Maggie, there is no joy left and my fear of writing as Maggie help me through my life being that I'm lowly educated being a manual labor guy she carried me though this life and I just can't find any thing positive right now or think that I ever will but as I promised my daughter I would try to find someone to talk to but with my anxiety's it will be hard, not as hard as this writing is, as I'm opening myself up to ridicule for my grammar & spelling. I don't believe it will happen here but the fear is there. Well to the topic I'm looking for anything positive and the only thing I can come up with is if I did not have our pets I would have followed her. Dam I'm so pissed off I was supposed to go first for 36yrs that was the plan and now she left me in a cruel world by myself.You and others tell me I'll get pass this and move on but I can't see the light and don't even know if I want to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Firinne, I don't think that is what anyone is about on here. Grammar and spelling are insignificant when it comes to our feelings. You just pour your heart out I don't think any of us want to be here, for the reason we are here. We understand. All you are opening yourself up for is agreeing with your grief. I'm not young like most of you here and wanted to go with Billy. I think one thing we all can agree to disagree on, and it is no big problem to disagree with, some of us wanted to go first and others did not want their partner to suffer like we do. This is a group that lifts each other up and tries to pull the drowning to safety. Just pour your heart out. If the words are not spelled correctly, we don't care. If the wrong grammar is used, we don't care. This is just a place that "misery loves company" and that is all. We are sorry you have to be here, but you can say what you want to, however you want to say it. Marty will come on and she gives the best places to go online to find a little glimmer of daylight. I'm glad you found this place. I found it three days after my Billy left. I like to think he helped me because he had told me, "the one that is left must stay." I didn't want to stay. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 I can understand your anxiety in writing. I can wind myself up pretty tight trying to get everything said just right. It seems huge to me that writing can be so difficult because of skills that I struggle to maintain. With my husband's death my brain has not truly recovered and many memories and abilities seem lost in space. Congratulations on overcoming your anxiety this first few times. Please don't think yourself less than anyone because of your education or your employment. It is obvious to me that you are a very thoughtful and caring person. Those qualities are far more important to me than a person who cares for nothing and no one but themself but has a wall full of diplomas and a bank account full of money. I am sorry to read your story of loss. The heartbreak is awful I know. Our minds go all over the place and often we dwell on the darkest things. The grief and depression can be immobilizing. Coming here reading and writing will help you but sadly we can not make the pain go away. I hope you will stay strong and come here often. ❤️ I am so very sorry for your loss. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 On 1/30/2018 at 10:24 AM, kevin said: .Scheduled for pre surgery stuff Feb 8th Please let us know how you do.. Your going to have to probably be still for 10 minutes or so, and during that time, write us and let you know how your doing. I was afraid to move to Arkansas 20 years ago because I am definitely a flatlander. And, might have had some close calls but sure did not have weather like you all have. Take it easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 8 hours ago, kayc said: It's supposed to snow here this morning from 4-10 am but I've been up since 3 and haven't seen it yet. Not complaining. I'd be happy if they'd keep that stuff above 5,000 feet. Kay, it’s too bad you don’t live in Seattle. We keep the white wicked stuff in the mountains and live like ducks in the city rain. But then you ar3cused to a smaller community and this city is getting to big and crowded. Commute times for a mere 5 miles can sometimes take an hour or more. 😡 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 1, 2018 Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 I couldn't handle the traffic/wait, I'd rather be out shoveling snow. This is a one traffic light town...when it works. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 Spent 7 days in Northern Alberta....touching bases with Family before my surgery on Monday....Went through some significant snow on the way home...Worst snow was an hour and half from my front door....Forecast lots of water this Spring....Take care IMG_1850.MOV IMG_1850.MOV 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 I liked snow when I was younger and did not have to worry about walking on the snow and ice. I remember typing all those 43 years of the admissions during this kind of weather, most always to the orthopedic floor.. Now, I just have to be careful. Left knee wanted to lock on me today. Ho-hum, joy of getting older. Kevin, please let us hear how things go for you and wish you the best of luck. I will say some prayers too, and lets hope they go further than the ceiling. Always figured Billy went first because I had not completed my goodness tests yet. He was good. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 Kevin, How did your surgery go? When do you come home? No shoveling snow for you! I hope you have someone staying with you while you recover. Thanks for sharing the pictures, beautiful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 KayC, surgery on Monday.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 22, 2018 Report Share Posted February 22, 2018 We'll be thinking of you on Monday, dear Kevin, and sending warm and healing thoughts to you ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 23, 2018 Report Share Posted February 23, 2018 Okay, I thought you meant last Monday. Well wishing you good fortune with it then! And I hope you have someone staying with you afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 Operation big success......went so good passed, mobility tests, up and down stairs on third day and got my "walking" papers.....Also wanted to dodge snow storm coming our way........Bottom line slept in my own bed last night.....Mobility very limited but great improvement after 3 hour car ride yesterday.......Slow and easy, and you all have a good day........Winter hanging on here 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 Positive as always Kevin. Your an inspiration. Hope things just go swimmingly great from here on out. Sorry about the snowstorms, down south we are flooding. You be careful and take all the help you can get. Proud of you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 Kevin, I'm glad the operation went well, now for the healing. Stay inside, I hope you have someone with you, I don't like you being alone after such an operation. Especially with snowstorms. Do not shovel! I will be out doing it again today, ugh. Stay in! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 Kayc, I'm under self imposed house arrest for at least 10-12 days.....have neighbor arranged to drive me to remove "staples".....Feeling surprisingly well with just one night out of Hospital.....Every 30 minutes must move and exercise.....combat clotting.....no problem with appetite 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 Good, glad to hear it! I got 4" snow during the night, they predicted less than 1/2". Notice they've made upcoming predictions greater. I hope you're not getting hammered with it! More coming today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 Just got about the same and more coming.....Friend who lives "at the Lake" got well over 6 inches......In like a Lion .I Feel 50% better today in regards to mobility....Following only the prescribed exercises and its working...In and out of bed without pain at all.....Even my cat is back to normal......... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 Good to hear, Kevin. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 3, 2018 Report Share Posted March 3, 2018 18 hours ago, kevin said: I Feel 50% better today in regards to mobility....Following only the prescribed exercises and its working...In and out of bed without pain at all.....Even my cat is back to normal......... This is great news! PT does wonders, not always fun but necessary. When I broke my right elbow I was out of work and couldn't afford PT, it was 1 1/2 hours away from here as well, so I downloaded the exercises from a university and did them and regained all mobility. It's like it was never broke now! I'll probably have arthritis in it someday, but I already deal with that. I think it's old people's companion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 The good news is I'm feeling better every day and it looks like the snow held off last night......Somehow my Cat got out yesterday and made life Hell for old "disabled" me trying to find him......This morning started a painful grid search which entailed going down about 14 stairs, long story short, Cat spent night outside basement door.......all is fine now...Cat staying beside me, and doors stay closed.....have a good day 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted March 4, 2018 Report Share Posted March 4, 2018 Kevin, you live in another whole country from my swamps. One thing I have seen about you, if it can be done, you can do it. Proud of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 Kevin, I hope you didn't overdo it in looking for your cat, I'm glad all is well now and that the snow held off at least until you got your cat back. I had to smile at your name for yourself, old "disabled". You won't wear that name long if I know you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 I have to share a positive...I got to see my grandchildren yesterday. We celebrated my grandson's first birthday, hard to believe he's been here a year! He's so adorable, he started out looking the spitting image of me as a baby but now is looking more like his mom's side of the family, he's beautiful. What impresses me is what wonderfully behaved children my son and his wife have, it doesn't just happen, they've put great effort into them and they are wonderful parents. I have to give a lot of credit to his wife, she's a great mom, and being a stay at home mom she puts a lot of time and energy into that role, but my son also is a great father and very hands on. It's so neat to hear my granddaughter (will be three May 26) saying please and thank you, not jealous of her baby brother, kind and caring towards him. And not many babies could take such stimulation overload as a house full of people, all the noise and presents, and not get cranky or cry, he really did well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 I'm so glad that you have this bit of sunshine in your life, dear Kay. No one deserves it more than you do. ♥ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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