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Significant Quotes

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Good Morning, Jan,

I like the site you found. I just like poetry. I like what we can do with words. I especially like the last line of the last poem 'We do not recover from death, but when we allow others to help, we reweave our tapestry.' It seems that that is what we are doing by being on this site. Allowing others to help. You are in my heart as always. Anne

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Dear Ones,

I just read this, and it touched my heart. Such a lovely thought ~ and I want to share it with all of you. The author is referring to Emrys, her darling little schnauzer who died ~ but I think the sentiment applies to all of us whose loved ones are no longer physically here with us in this earthly life:

Profoundly, what I discovered was that the CAUSE of my joyful experiences with beloved Emrys came from me—not from him. Yes, we were in relationship, and he loved me dearly. But the source of the love for him came from inside me. I found great strength in this truth. And it’s a profound idea I am now sharing with children.

~ Barbara Ann Simone, CEO for Kids’ Grief Relief, http://barbaraannsim...grief-awareness

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What a delightful post and I so agree with you, Marty, that Emry’s story indeed can apply to all of us who have lost someone dear to us whether human or animal.

I loved Mystie the Magical dragonfly. What a great web site for young ones who have suffered a loss. The idea of the heart was very visual and most definitely something a young one or anyone could understand. The analogy of placing the pieces of paper with the sad emotions on top of the word Love and then removing the sad emotions one by one until eventually finding the word Love was a very powerful image.

‘The source of the love comes from inside me’ truly says it. All the heartache and sadness in our hearts will eventually give way to the love we have always had for those who have died and we will carry on remembering that love. Anne

And so I’m reminded of another quote:

'To every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.' Ecclesiastes 3:1

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Here's a quote that just seems to say what I'm thinking:

'It is true that sometimes things happen in our lives and we are never quite the same

We deepen

and that makes us even more beautiful.'

Anne

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Profoundly, what I discovered was that the CAUSE of my joyful experiences with beloved Emrys came from me—not from him. Yes, we were in relationship, and he loved me dearly. But the source of the love for him came from inside me. I found great strength in this truth.

That is a true statement...nonetheless, without them here, what do we do with that love? We found fulfillment in the expression of our love, and without that ability, it greatly changed everything for us.

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I understand what you're saying, Kay ~ but I also think that what we do with that love is the whole point. We can choose to express that love by going on to live a good life in honor of our deceased loved ones ~ just as you have done, and continue to do, in the love you offer to your children, your sisters and your mother ~ and to your fellow members on this site. You are one of those rare and precious souls who LIVE your love ~ you demonstrate it every day in the way you behave toward others, including all of us. Thus it seems to me that, if you dedicate all of this to your beloved George and do it in honor of him (or even if you do it because you learned from him what true love is) you have found the most exquisite way to "do something" with your love . . .

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I think it's time for another quote. The board has been way too quiet lately.

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994

Something to think about.

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Those who are near me do not know that you are nearer to me than they are

Those who speak to me do not know that my heart is full with your unspoken words

Those who crowd in my path do not know that I am walking alone with you

They who love me do not know that their love brings you to my heart.

    --Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

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I really like your quote, Jan.

Here's one from me -

Doesn’t matter who has passed – this is a beautiful /poem/song. “I Believe” by Diamond Rio - originally linked from Marty’s Quotes and Poems from her Comfort for the Grieving Hearts link.

Also from Marty's link: these links get lost if you don't know where to find them.

Tears have a wisdom all their own.

They come when a person has relaxed enough to let go

and to work through his (her) sorrow.

They are the natural bleeding of an emotional wound,

carrying the poison out of the system.

Here lies the road to recovery.

~ F. Alexander Magoun

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNE! I'm sorry the site was down on your special day and I hope you know we all think the world of you and are sending kind thoughts your way today and always!

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I miss this thread and others who are new my not know about it. I read something today that touched my soul. It is by Katrina Mayer and it speaks to what we are able to do with our imaginations.

'You have a place within yourself where anything is possible. Go there!'

Thank you Mary for starting this post. I am grateful for my imagination for it reminds me that Jim is inside me always. Anne

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Amen to that, Anne! I reach inside for George whenever I need him. Sometimes I imagine him holding me, I think that's what I miss the most although I miss talking things over with him. I swear, year by year I miss him more, not less. It doesn't fade. There just is no one like him.

I have also enjoyed the thread on meditation...I don't post on it because I don't know much about it so have nothing to add, but I have been exploring it lately. I was amazed at the article that says how many thoughts our minds have, how busy our mind is! We fill it with needless worries and fears and regrets and really get our anxiety worked up. How great it is for us to still ourselves and let everything go and just experience peace and quiet. It's also so good to laugh...it's great to watch a comedy and laugh until you cry! We were talking about Office Space at work yesterday because my boss said "That would be great" and it sounded so much like the boss in the movie, and I laughed until I hurt! :D

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Glad you revived it, Anne. I guess it pays to,go back and revive old topics that over time get lost. Good for you. I love quotes...powerful and small.

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After reading some of the posts tonight I came across this quote from Goldie Hawn that reminded me of some of us who are going through some tough times with illness, death, and pain memories. And Mary, as you decide which flower to paint I think the lotus has an interesting history.

“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud --- the obstacles of life and its suffering. ... The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. ... Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” Goldie Hawn

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“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud --- the obstacles of life and its suffering. ... The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. ... Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” Goldie Hawn

Ann, I love this quotation and agree with it. We all grow in mud and in the joy of love. And I do believe we open our petals one by one...i.e. slowly. I am actually doing 4 flowers at once. While a petal on one dries, I work on another...etc. While masking dries on another, I mask off yet another. It feels good to be painting again. When I get them done...I will do them over again most likely. I learn patience painting. These are small 4x6 paintings so that I can see a finished product and be motivated to keep on keeping on...with my painting and other things.

Peace

Mary

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Another from my Facebook page today....lovely.

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My Facebook page is overflowing with significant quotes about grief today but this FB post is probably the only moment in this year's Oscars that is worth repeating. Make your screen large and grab some kleenix.

http://www.barbrastreisand.com/us/news/barbra-sings-way-we-were-tribute-marvin-hamlisch-oscars

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Anne,

I love that you glean deep significance from every day things. I never thought of the Lotus like that!

Mary,

I understand your doing small paintings so you don't get discouraged...maybe that's why I love doing cards! I'm much too impatient to make a quilt or something that takes ongoing effort, I like things I can finish and see end results from!

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Kay, I am sorry you had to work today but so understand...I hope the snow holds off for you especially with your knee being out of alignment or injured.

Yes, the smaller paintings are helping me get back to my studio. I love the lotus symbolism and should look up the meaning of the other flowers I am working on.

Peace, Mary

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A few months, perhaps 3 or 4, after Bill died, I met Pat Bertram, who is an author and who has a blog. I met her when I happened on her blog...only to find out that her soulmate/husband died within hours of Bill...we share an anniversary date and each month we contact each other on the 27th. It is consoling to both of us that one other person on this planet knows the meaning of March 27, 2010. Pat's book came out in year two of our grief journeys and she sent me the manuscript before it went to press. I wept my way through it as it was like reading about my journey to a large degree. It was divided by dates...and they, of course, were the same dates as mine. Her blog today will probably speak to all of you. We don't agree on everything (now wouldn't that be boring) but our journeys are certainly shared in many many ways. As we both walk towards the 3rd anniversary of our husband's deaths next month, we email once in a while sharing how that feels.

http://ptbertram.wordpress.com/2013/02/26/it-takes-courage-to-grieve/#comment-15767

If you like this blog, there are many others on grief at this site also.

Peace,

Mary

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Dear Mary,

Thank you for being here, for being a healer.

I am not a healer, but I can certainly recognize and appreciate one when I see her. {{{hugs}}}

Thank you.

You are helping my heart to cry and heal.

*<twinkles>*

fae

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Dear fae,

You are now, if you weren't before (and I suspect you were) a wounded healer...the most effective kind. The price tag for that was so very high and so very painful but you are one of the many healers at this site. Never underestimate the power of your gentle words.

I am a healer and I too recognize one when I see one. :) I am glad you are crying and healing. I have watched you move through this. You do it well. We all do.

Peace

Mary

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PS Thank you for your kind words. I am happy I can be of help.

Mary

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Mary, I subscribe to Pat Bertram's site and that posting spoke right to my heart. I am really struggling as you know. I feel I am exactly where I was when Pete died and I can't see how I can ever be anywhere else (or indeed want to be). I eat, breathe, talk, interact with people, go over and be with our daughter and her little ones, but basically underneath I feel like an empty shell. But I know from reading things like Pat's testimony (and your own) that after a long long loving partnership and blending of souls my situation is normal. And if I don't want to be proactive then so be it. I will try to just be. A friend said, would I be helped by spending more time with our little grand daughters (who keep me busy and raise my spirits for a while) but I said No, I feel closer to Pete when I am in our home surrounded by our things. In fact there is no place I feel right but here is the best of a bad job. Morning here and I had troubled apocalyptic dreams last night. Serves me right for reading a Stephen King novel called The Stand! I try to fill my head with stuff, radio programmes, audible books, TV programmes on the ipad when I go to bed. I think it helps a bit not to be too alone in my head for too long. I don't know.

My counsellor is due tomorrow. He is really nice and I talk to him, but I'm not clear how he can help me. He can't turn back the clock of course and that is all we want isn't it? And at least I am sane enough to know that isn't an option. Oh well, onward and upward I suppose. Jan

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