Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Significant Quotes


mfh

Recommended Posts

That poem is read on her DVD or CD called Many Miles. I love her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe last week has caught up with me...it was way too much. I am useless today. Except for the gal who is removing my wallpaper on Thursday....it is a quiet week.I plan to keep it that way. This quote coupled with the photo (reminds me of a road in Ouray near our home) that appeared with it speaks to the subject of grief, IMHO, as well as life or growth.


post-14525-0-07472000-1365456384_thumb.j

The path to a better place is never a straight line. It zigs, zags, goes backward and travels in loops before taking us to our destination. What may appear to be a path we want to avoid could turn out to be the key that unlocks paths we need to follow and didn’t know existed. Life creates many different paths that can all take us to a better place.

Picture Located in Peru
*This is the Long Sacred Road up to Machu Picchu

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'm dizzy just looking at it! I don't have any brains left after today, I feel pulverized. Trying to deal with LA DOR...awckk! Their forms aren't grammatically correct and leave you with more questions than answers and they don't answer their phone, they say they have too many calls, to call back another time. Help! I'm glad tomorrow is an Arlie day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Mary and Kay,

I hope you can both find lots of peaceful time for resting and recovering from this time which has left both of you sounding drained.

Mary, thank you for the introduction to Mary Oliver's poetry. I have been over on YouTube, listening. :)

My life is coming back to life. :)

*<twinkles>*

fae

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry comes and goes and most likely has an event for his fundraising nothing from Shannon. Mary Oliver is amazing. Lost her partner a couple of years ago, her book Thirst was written just after that. I think her partner was Molly...not sure. She lives on Cape Cod and people do not stop to,talk if they see pencil and paper in hand. Lots of nature themes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Grief Speaks “Please don't give me words; give me a hug. Don't tell me that I'm holding up so well; break down with me and admit our shared wretchedness. Don't feign some bright mountaintop; walk with me through the dark valley where neither of us can utter a word.”
― Robert Dykstra, She Never Said Good-Bye
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like your quote, Mary. Here's one that came to me today in my e-mail.

"Surrender yourself, and if you cannot be welcomed by the Friend,
Know that you are rebelling inwardly like a thread
That doesn't want to go through the needle's eye!
The awakened heart is a lamp; protect it by the hem of your robe!
Hurry and get out of this wind, for the weather is bad.
And when you've left this storm, you will come to a fountain;
You'll find a Friend there who will always nourish your soul.
And with your soul always green, you'll grown into a tall tree
Flowering always with sweet light-fruit, whose growth is interior." Anne

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Grief Speaks “Please don't give me words; give me a hug. Don't tell me that I'm holding up so well; break down with me and admit our shared wretchedness. Don't feign some bright mountaintop; walk with me through the dark valley where neither of us can utter a word.”

― Robert Dykstra, She Never Said Good-Bye

We feel this way, but do those who haven't been through it ever truly get it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anne, that is lovely. Thank you.

Woke up to rain...hard rain, thunder, lightening. Bentley got another bath :) It appears it will rain day AND night through the week with snow Thursday and maybe Friday. Reminds me of 2008 when spring rains resulted in major flooding here. Our basement was waist deep in water; lost the washer and dryer, furnace, freezer, lots of treasures but worst than that 43 people lost their homes and many others lost a lot of things. FEMA moved in quickly because it was on the heels of Katrina and they were trying to prove they were good so most of us got hefty checks but nothing brings back treasures. Bill was unable to help me so when he slept I worked in the basement. we went through 5 sump pumps and thanks to neighbors' help, we got the water pumped out via hoses...and then I swept water into the drain for hours. We were the lucky ones. So when I see 4 days of 24/7 rain coming, it makes me wonder and it reminds me of how helpless Bill felt and how sad I felt for him as I attempted to juggle that alone and tried to minimize it so he did not feel badly and worked as he slept. I have not thought of that until today. New memories creep in when tripped off by small things like a weather report. We (I guess it will always be 'we') are in a new house...rock solid...and it did not get invaded by flood waters in 08.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kay, I think it is impossible for them. Losing a beloved spouse is just something one has to experience and can't possibly comprehend until/if it happens to them. How do we communicate what it feels like every single day to waken to that empty side of the bed? or what it is like to be unable to share what has been shared 24/7 year after year, day after day for years? It is just impossible, I believe. People can try, can feel badly, can even weep for those who lost a spouse, can reach out and more but it is a matter of "walk in my shoes" no one can do that. Hence the loneliness of the journey. I can not even know what you lost nor can you know what I lost...however, we at least know what it feels like to lose our soulmates/part of our hearts....an extremely different loss than any I have ever experienced in my 73 years. Today the rain falling outside my window reflects the tears falling in my heart. Only those who have been down this road can truly truly get it. I do not know what it is like to lose a child. I never will. I know loss however....and that is how I can reach out to others...who lost a child. I have lost my parents, many many very close friends so I can get those. Human we are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are awake, dear Mary! I thought you just might sleep through the week. We also are having strange weather here in AZ. Our temps yesterday dropped 20 degrees with rain and this morning I awoke to the 50s!! I tried to stay awake to watch the basketball game last night and didn't make it - Michigan was doing great in the first half but sadly, they lost - good effort though. Remember, April showers bring May flowers. And you do so know, Mary, that those memories will always be so close to us.

Fae, I love Rumi. I get an e-mail everyday with a quote of the day. Just another treasure I found on one' of Marty's links - Grief Healing.com, I think.

Kay, did you get paid yet??!!! Anne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for the Rumi Anne. I too get quotes daily but not that one. Regarding how people can know how we feel - no they cannot. I met a friend (female) today who asked me how I was, and unlike so many who ask the same thing I felt she really wanted to know. But I couldn't tell her. She is married and obviously was thinking how it would be for her and had a slight understanding. I used to be that way. But until we have suffered it we don't know, and its good that we don't. I had a fairly interesting day today but at the end of it where is Pete with whom I shared everything? I talked to him about it and wrote in my journal. Maybe helps a bit?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jan,

I understand, I find myself asking that more and more now...where is George? How can they just be gone, they were such vibrant souls! They have to be somewhere, but where?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407,0,2074046.story

A friend posted this today and I thought it was a great piece that explains clearly how to support someone in crisis or in grief while also knowing what to do with other feelings that are not appropriate to share with the person in crisis or grief. I decided that I will put myself in the center circle and see who is in the next few circles out. I did this a year or so ago to help me get clear on who I could trust with me. Sadly many in grief do not have others in circles around them who properly support but, of course, this site provides that for everyone.

Mary

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Mary,

What an eye-opening article! Just this evening a friend called whom I have been emotionally supporting since her partner passed away around the same time as Doug, through her first two affairs (within the first year after her partner left, but I suppose some people heal very fast) and ... We knew them. I could talk about Doug to her. But it was off. It was only last week that my grief counselor once again told me to stop being compassionate to everyone, and only let those people near me who were compassionate to ME. What a revelation in survival of the emotional core! I got off the phone in less than five minutes. The reasons don't matter, but the lesson certainly does.

The article you shared went straight to the critical crux: no dumping "in" as people say who work in more or less concentric rings of hierarchy, with the king, at the center. Anyway, what a wonderful common-sense article.

Yes, you are absolutely right: this site provides compassion, non-judgmental fellowship, and truly is a wonderful and loving Tribe. What a magnificent concept! Voluntarism at work. Individual, voluntary contributions in appreciation for the spirit of this place, where love is given to all who tap on the door. And I image I would find that HOV also hands out metaphorical bread in the streets. :) What a treasure of a fire we have here!

*<twinkles>*

fae

Link to comment
Share on other sites

GriefSpeaks “But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik (A Life for a Life 1859)
One of Bill's and my favorite quotes....
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief If your loved one was watching your grief process, what would they say? Would they understand your pain? Would they be proud of your strength? What would they say to you if they could share their wisdom from the other side of the veil?

Yes, he would surely understand my pain for his would have been the same. He would be proud of my strength and how I have fought to go forward as he knew that only half of me is here... I believe he would just say: "be who you are, luv. I am waiting for you."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pete would say "I'm so proud of you Lovie, and I'd do anything to be there supporting you as I've always done. And if its possible I will connect to keep you going".

And I do believe that he has managed to do that in a few ways. Reminds me that when he had the stroke I was talking to him, and called him Lovie as we did each other, and the nurse said "it's best not to use patronising language". I said mildly "Lovie is what we call each other often"!

The weather has improved at last and I did some weeding. I'm really trying to make myself do things like that. I've read a lot of comments from people who shared the garden with their loved ones and find it hard to do it on their own. Several reasons of course, one being that it was a shared experience, much enjoyed for that, secondly when you've done it who do you talk about it and admire it with? Any ideas? At the moment it seems to bring pain and I prefer not to court pain. But if I don't do it the garden will look awful and make me even sadder.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was an amazing article, so simple and so right on! If someone said something like that to me, I'm afraid I'd have to say "This isn't about you." Honestly, people should think before they speak!

I know George would be deeply pained by what I've gone through since he died. He would understand even my mistakes, and he would be proud of my strengths and the difficult decisions I've had to make. I think he would remind me that our time here is like a vapor...how quickly it goes, and he would tell me what is awaiting me, to give me hope. He would encourage me to hang in there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This seems to fit me today and the last few days:

"At every point in the human journey we find that we have to let go in order to move forward; and letting go means dying a little. In the process we are being created anew, awakened afresh to the source of our being." -Kathleen R. Fischer

Anne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...