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It Never Ends


ShanN

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Fae,

I have no choice but to stay home and rest. Drs orders. And yes Leo's sis and BIL are going to visit him.

I am trying to sleep but have a stomach and intestinal bug.

Love ya

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Oh gosh, Shannon, you have just got to get some rest until you are back to normal physically again. You are exhausted in every way and NEED rest! If you can't sleep, get some sleeping pills from the doctor, they have some that are non-addictive, but you have just GOT to get some rest, forced or otherwise! Leo is being taken care of but you are not! You can't be of use to him if you aren't well yourself! I'm glad his sister and BIL are going to go see him...try staying home for a couple of days and just sleeping. Get lots of fluids and nutrition. Is there a takeout place nearby so you don't have to cook? Think of this as preparing yourself physically, mentally, emotionally for whatever is needed of you in the near future. Try to be at your best before the anv. of your mom's death comes, so you give yourself your best chance of handling it as well as you can. Seriously, Shannon, I am concerned about you, you can't keep going like this, you need to put YOU first for a while, okay?

Still praying for you...

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Kay, yes I am honestly now resting and accepting more that Leo is being taken care of. I have been sleeping for the good part of the day... With a few awake times because of my tummy and intestines. But I'm not going anywhere at least until Monday.

And I actually Promise you that.

Love and hugs.

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Dear Shannon,

I am relieved to read that you are resting, dear one.

Oh, I hope you can relax, that the tunny flu goes away, and that you can sleep, drink fluids, take your medications, and follow the doctor's orders to rest, rest, rest.

I am keeping you in my heart and prayers and sending {{{hugs}}} and much love and blessings to you, dear Shannon.

Be at peace, rest, take wonderful care of yourself and let your body and mind have some time to heal.

*<twinkles>*

fae

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Shannon, when my daughter got the flu, she couldn't hold anything down and her tummy hurt so bad, the doctor was able to prescribe something for her and it helped her greatly. Please consider that if you aren't able to hold anything down, you don't want to get dehydrated and weaker.

Keep resting!

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Oh, my!

Yes, Kay, you are so thoughtful! I had not thought about the dehydration from the flu.

Shannon, Kay is right, if you are note able to keep things down, or for that matter, inside you from either end, please ask your doctor for some medications that will help you keep fluids and healing foods inside of you.

And keep resting, resting, resting so that your tired and stressed body can do some healing.

Much Love and

*<twinkles>*

fae

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I got myself very exhausted, between work/commute/family obligations/Arlie's situation/my eyes...coupled with the accident I had this weekend, I decided to take my own advice and stay home from church today and just rest. I know I was expected at choir practice, but to be honest, I feel ready for our Easter number, and I need the rest more...before tackling work/commute/eyes again tomorrow. I was told yesterday that my new glasses would be in tomorrow so am hoping I will be able to see to drive home tomorrow night!

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Dear Kay,

I hope you are resting, resting, resting.

You have had a week that has been more than full, with work, sister, family visits, the stress of the bump of the cars, and the glasses. And I am forgetting some things, I know. I am so glad for you that you decided to stay home and just relax and let your energy catch up with your activity.

I'll post more away from dear Shannon's pages, so I don't end up with lines and lines here.

Dear Shannon, I hope you are asleep. {{{hugs}}} fae

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Shannon,

How are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Are you resting and getting well? Have you seen Leo?

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Dear Shannon,

I know these days are so terribly hard for your.

We are thinking about you and holding you in prayer.

Let us know how you are when you can, dear.

faef

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Thank you ladies,

Am in a very bad place. Am at my SIL's today because I'm just very overwhelmed and not feeling so safe.

Leo is "giving up". That is evident. In spite of my undying love and encouragement.

But I'm on overload, with Monday approaching and those horrible memories.

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Shannon,

I know what it feels like when your husband gives up, and it's a very hard place for you. A part of me felt like he should have tried harder for ME, but then again, how can I begin to understand the pain he was in and I should be glad for him that he is out of it now. It's just so darn hard letting go, even when we have no choice.

I am so glad you are at your SIL's and so glad you have her. Are you going to be with her for a few days? Are you continuing to see a therapist who can help you through this time? I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to have the horrible memories you have, to have experienced the loss of your mother so young. My heart goes out to you as I'm sure everyone here does. Saying a prayer for you...

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Thank you

Yes, I just got a last min appointment with my therapist for 3pm. 2 hrs from now.

No I'm not staying with my SIL and BIL.

I'm visiting Leo after I see my therapist.

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Shannon, I'm sorry, I misunderstood. I hope your visit goes well today!

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Dear Shannon,

You are in my thoughts and prayers as you work through your grief of the death of your mother and the illness of Leo. I cannot imagine what you are experiencing but I do want you to know that I send love and hugs to you. We here on this forum are with you in spirit and we all hold you close. You are not alone. Anne

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Shannon, I remember the day Bill gave up. He was still in the hospital, at the lunch table. The gal put some food in front of him. I was sitting next to him and asked him if he would like some food. He looked at me with a look I will never forget...total exhaustion. He pushed the food away and never took another bite of food. A being can only take so much and he had had it. I knew it was over but did not let it in. Leo have fought so hard and I know it is hard for you to watch him struggle and hard to think about losing him. There are no good solutions except to attempt to accept whatever is....difficult as that is. We just can't fight the river...I will hold you in my heart these days as I have been and as you face yet another painful event. So glad you got in to see your therapist.

Peace

Mary

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((((((Hugs))))) Mary... How heart breaking... Especially today of all days for you to share that with me.

Leo ate a bit tonight. But still doesn't much want me there. I don't wish to agitate him, so I do t stay long. :(

It's a hard balance.

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I'm sobbing tonight. I'm doing my best to breathe. Today was just tough. This week has been. And I have to make decisions for Leo when that time comes. It's overwhelming.

And Mondays anniversary is hitting me so hard. I am having a hard time breathing. I took my meds... But ended up vomiting them up I was crying so hard.

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Dear Shannon,

You are going through a time of pain and memories that I can only barely imagine. I am holding you in prayer and in love, and hoping that each day brings you at least a few moments of peace and solace. I know it is terribly difficult for you at this time, and only hope that your counselor, family, and doctors are all caring for you and holding you close.

I hold you in my heart, dear one, as you pass through this time of intense feelings and memories. Peace to your heart, and I am thinking of you and wishing you relief from this grief even for a few minutes at a time.

Please keep taking care of yourself, and rest. Eat as well as you are able, find some time for yourself, and let the staff care for Leo, so you can take care of you. You need to stay as well as you can to make it through this time.

Much Love,

fae

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Shannon, there is just no easy way about this, it's extremely hard at best. Has he made explicit wishes and made them known? If so, that makes your job easier as you'd just be carrying them out and honoring his requests. If he hasn't, I don't know if you'd be up to talking to him about it now...maybe to your SIL/BIL as well. It just shouldn't be all on you.

Do you know why he doesn't want to see you, is it because he feels too rotten? If so, I'd stop in, stay for a short time, but respect his wishes. God this is tough, no matter how you look at it. Try not to think about Mon. until Monday, you have your hands full w/today. Hang in there and remember to breathe!

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Yes I have explicit instructions on what he wants. And no he is not at that point. That's almost the most painful part because he is struggling with identity, memory, agitation... And doesn't understand why. His mind knows things are wrong... Only he doesn't know why or what he doesn't remember.

I want to take him home. There are people working with me to make that happen.

I'm in tears again tonight. Just going to listen to music.

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Shannon,

It's good to hear you do what you need to do for YOU (listen to music), it's so important that now of all times you be in touch with listening to your inner self and needs.

Is Leo expressing an interest in coming home or is he even able to remember and articulate that at this point? I'm glad you have people working with you and are not alone in trying to make this happen.

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Kay,

Actually, no, he's has not asked to come home. But that's what I want. Perhaps I'm selfish. But maybe he will improve at home. I don't know.

Going to see him now.

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