Guest Margaret Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 My son took his life on November 17th he was 26 years old. Today is his birthday. I feel so confused, I feel like it is a nightmare. I can't support my husband because it hurts to much. I found my son and I can't get that picture out of my head. I am not angry at him I am sad that he was so sad that he couldn't see anyway out. I miss him every minute of the day. and I am not sure how I am going to get through this. Margaret Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebekat Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere sympathy. Today is the first day I have felt like posting here. I only hope it helps to ease some of the pain I'm feeling. I hope it will also help you to get your thoughts out of your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 MargaretI too found my son June 30th, He was 33,we think it was a heart attack.The picture has dulled a little in a bit over 5 months but it will never go away. I would imagine many here have the same experience. You need comfort now, give yourself a little time before you try to comfort anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 And by the way Margaret even though the picture in my head is bad I'm at least grateful I found my son and not some stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Margaret Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I agree I am glad that I found my son in some strange way. I spoke at his funeral and said that I had brought him into the world and was the first to see him and hold him in my arms and I was the last one to see him alive and hold him in my arms at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 My son was responsible for the happiest day of my life his birthday.He was also responsible for the sadist day.My wife and I made it through the Canadian Thanksgiving I'm not to worried about Christmas although I would rather skip it. What worries me is March 1st 2006 his birthday and the day his younger brother becomes older than him, that will come in 3 and 1/2 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Margaret Posted December 9, 2005 Report Share Posted December 9, 2005 I agree with what you are saying about the happiest and saddest days of your life. Today I am feeling like I can't go on any more. I have been thinking that it would be easy for me to end my life, just to put me out of this pain I am feeling.-->QUOTE(John B @ Dec 8 2005, 04:44 PM) ←My son was responsible for the happiest day of my life his birthday.He was also responsible for the sadist day.My wife and I made it through the Canadian Thanksgiving I'm not to worried about Christmas although I would rather skip it. What worries me is March 1st 2006 his birthday and the day his younger brother becomes older than him, that will come in 3 and 1/2 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 10, 2005 Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 I was going to say we all feel that way Margaret but it might be just you and me. We go on for the others in our life and because that's the way it is.When ever I was driving I just wanted to run into the nearest tree, that feeling is starting to go away, it's still there just not as strong.I wish I could reach through this computer and hold you sometimes that helps.I hope you have someone to hold you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Margaret Posted December 10, 2005 Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 Yes I do have people to hold but when I am alone it overcomes me. I cant talk to my husband we have not been able to help each other. Is this normal? We haven't even hugged each other and cried together? I will hold my other son Adam and he tries to help me but I know he is going through alot to with loosing his brother, I lost my brother 6 years ago and understand his pain also. I am just feeling lost., Right now I am calm and not looking at harming myself, but in 5 minutes who knows. I need to go and do something now like wash dishes or something. Thanks for listening Margaret-->QUOTE(John B @ Dec 9 2005, 08:43 PM) ←I was going to say we all feel that way Margaret but it might be just you and me. We go on for the others in our life and because that's the way it is.When ever I was driving I just wanted to run into the nearest tree, that feeling is starting to go away, it's still there just not as strong.I wish I could reach through this computer and hold you sometimes that helps.I hope you have someone to hold you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 10, 2005 Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 Glad to see you are still with us Margaret.Yes my wife and I hold each other and cry but everyone is different give it a little time. I also have some very wonderful sister and brother in laws, they were the difference for me.Paul was 33, my youngest son Dean is 30, yesterday he came by the house twice. The first time he was looking for information the second time we talked about hockey. Those visits lifted my spirits more than I could have imagined even a few days ago. Funny how it works. Dean only lives 5 miles away and we see him almost everyday but yesterday was special for some reason.When things like this happen we know we have to go on for our other children but for months that doesn't even make sense when we say it. I hope yesterday was a sign of things to come when I say I will go on for Dean it will not just be hollow words but really have some meaning.What part of the world are you in Margaret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest margaret Posted December 10, 2005 Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 I live in Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada. Margaret-->QUOTE(John B @ Dec 10 2005, 10:05 AM) ←Glad to see you are still with us Margaret.Yes my wife and I hold each other and cry but everyone is different give it a little time. I also have some very wonderful sister and brother in laws, they were the difference for me.Paul was 33, my youngest son Dean is 30, yesterday he came by the house twice. The first time he was looking for information the second time we talked about hockey. Those visits lifted my spirits more than I could have imagined even a few days ago. Funny how it works. Dean only lives 5 miles away and we see him almost everyday but yesterday was special for some reason.When things like this happen we know we have to go on for our other children but for months that doesn't even make sense when we say it. I hope yesterday was a sign of things to come when I say I will go on for Dean it will not just be hollow words but really have some meaning.What part of the world are you in Margaret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John B Posted December 11, 2005 Report Share Posted December 11, 2005 We're a little south of you just north of Toronto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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