mfh Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I saw this piece on the Huffington Post today and thought it might be something people might want to talk about. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-w/making-promises-what-does_b_4618248.html?utm_hp_ref=tw What does your wedding ring mean? Do you have one? Do you wrestle with removing it and when or will you ever remove it? I removed Bill's wedding ring from his hand a few days before he died because his hands were swelling. I place it on my left hand that night with my own and there it has stayed and will stay forever. I remember the day we bought them. We chose the open weave to symbolize our commitment to always being open and honest with each other as well as open to intimacy, joy, and more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Interesting topic, Mary. When first married, I bought Ron a gold ring with an Amethyst stone which was his birthstone. When he gained some weight, he had to cut it off his finger. Over the years, I bought him several Native American made bands which he wore. Because of the work he did, he couldn't wear them during the day. I have saved the final one. I remember the day we bought my rings. He was dirt poor coming from a nasty divorce in which his ex had taken everything. He located past friends that owed him money & after collecting it, we went to a store named "Best" & selected the rings. Certainly not the most expensive, but I did not care. About 7 years ago, I decided I wanted a new set of rings. Don't ask me why. As I think back now, I know that Ron was less than thrilled that I wanted new rings. I think I hurt his feelings. Since then, I alternate wearing each set. What do they mean to me? The original ones mean that someone loved me enough to give me a beautiful gift & share his life with me. Both sets mean that I belong to that "someone". I still feel that I do & therefore have no plans to remove mine. Luv, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2014 That is lovely that you alternate wearing the rings. Like you, I still feel married to Bill or as you said, "belong to Ron". Others will choose to remove their rings and whatever anyone does is right for them and that is what matters. I think some wrestle with the decision, hence this topic. Peace mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KCinko Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I wear my rings (Engagement Ring & Wedding Band) faithfully every day, as far as I'm concerned I am still Gary's wife & always will be, this is a symbol of my Love & Commitment. I am not able to wear his ring or I definitely would, but I do carry it in my left front pocket every day. I never go anywhere without it. Months before he passed we discussed what he wanted done with his wedding band because he would never take it off, even for surgical procedures, he made them put tape over it & he always would say " It goes with me when I go". but as we got close to that time I asked him if he really wanted it to go with him & he said no I want you to keep it. So I did remove it from his finger when he passed & I keep it with me at all times. Will there ever come a time when I take mine off & put them all in a safe place??? I don't know, all I know is today I need them on my finger, I need them with me at all times!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I can't imagine any reason for removing my rings. I also wear Pete's but on my right hand under a silver one which he bought me for our 25th wedding anniversary. Sadly when he was in hospital and had lost weight his silver 25th signet ring slipped off his finger and was lost. I should have anticipated this and saved it and it's one of my many regrets. I also wear an unusual ring with a spiral which he bought me when we were in Copenhagan on a cruise. Round my neck on a chain I wear his watch. The leather strap wore out so nOw I wear it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 My ring is two hearts, snugged together. I wear it all the time. It is pretty worn because I wore it while we were doing a lot of activities and it got scratched and worn, but I think that just makes it more beautiful. I tried taking it off on the second anniversary of Doug leaving, but I felt alone and out of touch, so I put it back on and the feel and weight of it comforts me, and I often finger it at night when I am alone with no hands to hold or shoulder to snuggle. It helps me to know that the love goes on. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Yes Pete's signet ring is a connection for me. Because it's too big it slips round and I bring it back and pat the top often. When I put it on his finger in 1962 it had three engraved lines across it. They are worn away now, just the vestiges of one. I kiss it sometimes. I love to think how close it's been to him for almost fifty years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Oh, Jan, that is wonderfully beautiful. I am so glad you have the ring. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 I wore Kathy's ring on my neck for the first year. I use to hold it with my hand when I would go to sleep. It was my comfort blanket I suppose. It was only when the chain let go one day and it slipped into my shirt that I very nearly freaked! I keep it safe now but I will always wear a gold whale fluke that I bought her on her last birthday when we were in Hawaii. It makes me feel like a piece of her is always touching me. One of my four year old granddaughters asked me recently if I take it off to sleep. I smiled when I told her no. One day she will understand why. Oh and I will always keep my wedding ring on. I never took it off when Kathy was here, and I guess I never will. We never did agree with that phrase "till death do you part" I like your rings Mary. They speak volumes. Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Thank you, Stephen, I am glad you like our rings. Wearing the gold whale fluke is such a tender tribute to your Kathy. Like you and Kathy, Bill and I never saw death as the end of our marriage...I am as married to him today as I was before his heart beat for the last time. It just is what it is. Each person does their very own journey and each journey is as it is. Peace to you today, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Our dear friend and colleague Elaine Mansfield posted this beautiful piece on her blog this past Tuesday: A Circle of Love: My Priceless Wedding Ring ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 When George and I were getting married, I designed and ordered custom rings...they had to order the stock because mine was smaller than they carried and his was larger than they carry. It has an infinity sign on it and is platinum based with yellow gold rims and YG infinity signs. Mine has a diamond in the center but I knew he wouldn't want anything sticking up with his job. Unbeknownst to me, he had ordered a custom necklace be built for me...he designed it...it has a white gold base with a yellow gold rim and a yellow gold infinity sign on it. He intended it for a friendship necklace (BFF) but didn't give it to me because I was still going through my divorce and his friends said you can't give a piece of jewelry to a married woman! Later, after we became more than friends, he added rubies into the center of the infinity sign to signify the passion of our relationship and friendship that grew wings. Both of us had inscribed on our pieces "Soulmates thru all time". All of this was done without discussion or comparing notes. Were we surprised to see how they matched and how our thinking paralleled each other's! It was amazing,but so typical of our connection. I can't wear my ring anymore, my knuckles have swelled with arthritis. It saddens me. I've toyed with getting it enlarged so I could wear it, but to do so they'd have to put in a seam and I hate to break the band that way. I should take it in and talk to them about it anyway. His is way too big for me to wear except on a chain around my neck, but then I have the necklace he gave me. He was such a sweet dear. I've promised my kids they can have the rings when I go...mine to my daughter, his to my son. They won't fit and I don't expect they'll wear them, but just to have in a trinket box to remember us and our love by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 Kay those rings sounds just perfect. I so understand how you and George were in sync as you were...the same applied to Bill and me. I find my mind wandering from time to time to how blessed we are/were to be loved as we were and to have what we had/have. I have seen so many people who have never been loved like this. Yes, it deepens our grief but I would not trade a minute of it and I believe that is true of you also. Happy Easter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Yesterday I was in the grocery store where I met an old customer of mine who I knew quite well and while we were talking, she saw my ring and said "you got married again". I told her "No, still married. She looked at me and said "You're crazy" and then turned and walked away. I thought "what just happened?". Some people just don't get it. And, no, I'm not crazy, just in love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Oh, Stephen ~ How awful for you. How sad for that customer. Clearly she knows nothing of grief. I am so sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 I think I would have called after her and said, "When you've lost the love of your life, you'll understand!" How annoying! I'm so mad I could spit! I wish I could have a word with her! Grrr! I'm amazed how callous and rude and insensitive some people can be! I guess it's not worth our time. Stephen, I'm sorry you experienced that. Tomorrow I'm going out of town and will be taking my wedding ring with me to talk to a jeweler about resizing it. It's platinum and yellow gold so I was told it couldn't be resized without a seam in it, and I have an inscription in it...I'm going to try another jeweler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 In thanking you for caring about my feelings, I have to say that it really didn't hurt much. That kind of thing doesn't happen very often and I think I have grown a tougher skin in the last three years. Kay I wouldn't worry about the seam if there is no other choice. I'ts still your ring.....and like us, wears a few signs of age. I chose my ring originally so I could work with it on. It has no stones or as Kathy would say "sparklies" and it shows the wear and age just like the guy who wears it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Stephen, It is beyond my imagination to know what led this person to speak to you that way...lots of possibilities. I know you said you have grown a tough skin but I am still sorry you were subjected to that. As I have said here before I wear Bill's and my wedding rings on my left hand and have no clue what anyone who sees me thinks and it matters not but those kinds of remarks are just uncalled for. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Yesterday I was in the grocery store where I met an old customer of mine who I knew quite well and while we were talking, she saw my ring and said "you got married again". I told her "No, still married. She looked at me and said "You're crazy" and then turned and walked away. I thought "what just happened?". Some people just don't get it. And, no, I'm not crazy, just in love. That is a great story. Thank you . fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Stephen, I am sorry that you had those remarks said to you. Sometimes people are just insensitive to someone elses pain. Probably not meant to hurt you... I find that the more knowledge we have about grief the better we are able to understand it. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Yesterday I took my wedding band to the jeweler to see about getting it enlarged. I'd previously been told it couldn't be because it is platinum and yellow gold, it also has an inscription in it. They said they can do it but it costs the price of three rings plus some, also have to have the inscription redone afterwards. It cost me $275. I was blown away, I was thinking maybe $100 because the last rings I had enlarged were $31 each 4 1/2 years ago. I knew it'd be more because of the complexity but $275? Also they told me gold had gone up but it has gone down so that alone can't account for it. Anyway, regardless of the sticker tag shock, I will be so happy to be able to wear it again! I can see George smiling from here! No price would be too much for him, he never spared me anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Kay, I am so glad you are going to be able to get your wedding ring resized. That does seem like a pretty steep price to me, too. But, this is a big deal for any of us, so being able to get it done must be a wonderful feeling. My ring is all scratched and worn, but I love to look t it and sometimes finger it, just because it reminds me of Doug's love. Congratulations, and I just know that the money will show up from somewhere for you to do this. Yes, some things are simply worth the cost. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Well I might have gotten it cheaper by shopping around but I decided to go to the best as I did not want a "seam" in it, it seems somehow that defeats the purpose of the eternal symbol of the ring and all the more so to us because we had infinity symbols on our rings. I didn't want to take a chance with someone botching it. The last time I had rings sized I took them in to Kay's Jewelers and they ruined the black opal that I had bought the ring for...it reminded me of autumn leaves and the new stone they stuck in it's place does not have the same colors. They should have removed the stone before working on it and then placed it back. It's stuff like that that gets me, people should know their own professions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 I think you are smart, Kay, to spend the money. They will melt that gold and make the circle one seamless ring as you desire. That process might be why the cost is up as it involves more than a cut and seam. Who knows. What you know is this is super important and you are loving yourself. I have a ring (engagement ring-actually purchased on our honey moon in Hawaii but we called his and mine engagement rings) that needs to be made larger also and eventually will get it done because it matters and that is what you are doing...that which matters to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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