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New To Group, Need Help With Coping


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Hey everyone, my name is Kole. I'm 20 and I'm currently dealing with grandma having AML or acute myeloid leukemia. They think she got it from radiation for breast cancer a few years back. I've always been really close with her though we have had our bumps in the road. She has had several courses of treatment including a clinical trial that worked but recently stopped working. Her cancer counts in her blood go up every week and we don't know how much longer she has. They believe they've exhausted all options and I don't know how much more fight she has in her. I've been trying to spend a lot of time with her, but my emotions are too much right nowm the thought of losing her rattles my brain and wrenches my heart.

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Hi,

I hope you will read some here as there are others also going through anticipatory grief, and it helps to know you are not alone. I'm so sorry your grandma is going through this, I know how hard it is on the whole family. I hope you will continue to come here as it helps to express your feelings and even vent at times. This group was here for me through my whole journey with my mom's dementia, even though it was a period of years.

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Hi Kole ~ I too am so sorry to learn of your grandma's serious illness, and I hope you know that we are here for you as you walk your way through this challenging time. When faced with something like this, it helps to know that you are not alone.

We also believe that the more you know about grief and what is normal about the process, the better prepared you will be to manage your own reactions to it.

I think the suggestions in this article might be of some help to you, so I invite you to read it and see what you think: Anticipatory Grief and Mourning

See also Grief: Understanding The Process

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Hi Kole

I'm pretty new to the group myself. I'm so sorry to read about your Grandma's illness. When you say it 'wrenches your heart'. I can relate to that feeling. My dad recently was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It felt as if my heart had been cut up into tiny bits and it felt as if my insides had been shredded. It may sound a bit dramatic but its the only way I can express how it felt on the inside to get that news. I simply was heart broken all last week.

I've posted separately myself but I only realised that all last week, since we got the news I've been going through anticipatory grief. I was feeling it physically as well.

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