Life Coach

[LoriM]

I am certainly not in New Beginning phase of my life, my husband recently passed. I am so out of sorts, my brain is so foggy and has been for close to four years from the moment I became a caregiver, homeschool mom, etc. I forget things and I feel like I have an onset of ADD or something. PHew.. One more thing to manage.

Has anyone heard of a life coach? What are your thoughts? Where can I find a good one?

[kayc]

I tried googling it for the nearest city and found 37 results. You do have to waft through them and see what looks applicable as there's anything from Zen to brain injuries.

I think foggy brain comes with grieving.

[MartyT]

Dear One,

Since you say that your husband recently passed and you've obviously found your way to our Grief Healing Discussion Groups, I assume that you are looking for information, comfort and support that is aimed at the grief you are experiencing in the wake of the death of your spouse. If that is the case, it seems to me that rather than looking for a life coach, you would be better served by working with a licensed professional counselor or therapist who also specializes in loss and grief. It also sounds as if you've been in the caregiving role for many years, and now that your husband has died, you find yourself totally depleted and completely exhausted. So many of our members have been where you are now, and I hope you'll take some time to read through some of the threads you will find in our Loss of a Spouse forum. I'm also sure that, in good time, you'll be receiving responses from some of them.

In addition, you may find these articles helpful:

Seeing A Specialist in Grief Counseling: Does It Matter?

Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You

Got A State-Licensed Counselor? Why It Matters

[LoriM]

Thank you for that information. I am discovering how deep this grief goes, on so many levels because i was the caretaker for my husband. I am so completely exhausted and I have two children. One is ANGRY and takes it out on me. He is where I put all my energy and I have no time to even grieve. It's just exhausting. I am going to a bereavement center next week to get more information. He is seeing a play therapist in town, maybe for three sessions, and they go in a room and I never know what happens. I don't think her speciality is grieving. I need someone to tell me about how he is doing and give me tools. I am seeing someone and she is really good. Really listens to me. I saw her four times and I am really happy with her so far.

For the Life Coach, I heard that they can help you organize you life, basically. I feel so ADD (or maybe it's adrenaline mode for so many years) and i can't seem to get on top of papers, my life, or anything. I can't even make a goal or two and carry it out. I want to, but my brain blocks. I just need someone to come along side me , so I can feel like I am making some headway in my life. I don't even know what I like or don't like, and goals are just something I have been thinking about for a long time.

[MartyT]

Lori, my dear, although I know very little about you, it seems from what you've shared here that much of what you're experiencing is a normal reaction to significant loss. Clearly your entire life has been turned upside down, you are in a state of exhaustion, and you're trying desperately to function as a single parent. No wonder you're feeling so overwhelmed!

Sometimes just reading about how others experience the death of a spouse (as you can do by browsing the threads you will find in our Loss of a Spouse forum) will help you to feel less crazy and alone. There are also some sites online specifically aimed at people in your circumstances. See, for example, Resources for Young Widow(er)s

It's good to know that you're already seeing someone with whom you feel connected, and I hope you will continue to give that support to yourself. I don't know how old your children are, but if one is already seeing a play therapist, you certainly have every right to ask for a separate appointment with her to discuss your concerns about your child, and to assess her knowledge and experience with grieving children. If she doesn't consider herself an expert in that particular area, you might ask for a referral to someone who has that expertise.

As overwhelmed as you are, you probably have neither the time nor the energy to do so, but I can point you to dozens of online resources to help you better understand how your children may be experiencing the loss of their father. See, for example, Helping Grieving Children: A List of Suggested Resources. See also the list of Related Articles you'll find at the base of the post.