Ceili Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 I don't think that I have been here in about 3 months. My elderly mom died 3/4/15. I had cared for her for 3 years. Initially things were extremely difficult. I have a history of depression so my doc put me on a new med. It took awhile but I really started to make progress with my grief. I had fun, wanted to do things, volunteered. I just went through the anniversaries of the deaths of my 2 daughters (6 months of age and a full term still born) and a miscarriage at 14 weeks.This was the first time I went through these without my mom, but I did OK. I was proud of myself. But the past two weeks have been very bad again and I am afraid of returning to the darkness that I lived in for 6 months. I am crying again, having suicidal thoughts again. I see my doc and counselor this week and will tell them. I want to isolate and am so afraid of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Tomorrow is my parents wedding anniversary and then both of their birthdays follow. I have stayed close to my sister; we talk everyday. My 3 brothers and I "check in" once a week or so. 11/4 will be 8 months since my mom's death. Is such a backslide,after doing better, normal? Has anyone else had this happen? I am overwhelmed with fear that someone else will die. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 I am so glad you have appts. to see your doctor and counselor this week. Hang in there until then, know that help is on its way! Try not to think about the holidays, take one day at a time. I'm glad you talk to your sister and brothers. Yes we can have setbacks, your counselor should be able to help you with that. Perhaps your medicine may need adjusting or changing too, your doctor should be able to help you with that. Hold on until you see them! I hope you come here and post tomorrow. Maybe think of a way you can honor them...buy a card and a balloon...release the balloon and read the card to them. Just an idea, you'll think of something that will work for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceili Posted October 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 Thanks kayc. You are always so helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 31, 2015 Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 How did it go at the doctor and counselor's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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