WolfsKat Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 One of the (many) things I miss so very much is the physical contact that was so much a daily part of my life! I'm not referring to anything truly sexual in nature.....just the hugs, pats, quick kisses, cozying up on the sofa to watch a movie, snuggling in bed, giving/receiving massage, being held......I'm a tactile person. I MISS all of this, and so awful to think it will always be so, this total loss of touch. I remember reading that newborns deprived of regular touch will suffer from "failure to thrive". I feel as if something In adults withers away too, when you have such a deprivation, especially after it had been a constant in your life! This might sound crazy, but I kind of think it would be nice to have a "snuggle buddy" to sleep with.......nothing sexual at ALL.....just.....cuddling/holding. Odd, eh? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 You can add that as a requirement for your roommate plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 I miss the touching, snuggling, holding hands, etc.. It is hard to think that it is gone forever, but I guess it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 I don't think forever is a practical timeline ......at present, only snuggling I do is with a dog or cat, and its what I wake up to....nothing right now will replace what I had..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 Well, I will say it....I do miss the sex. But that was stolen from us in 2009 so we became more appreciative of subtle and sensual side of being together with the hugging, snuggling and holding hands. We always touched, but it became more important than ever knowing our time was limited. We never passed up an opportunity to reach out even if it was just to tousle the others hair. I can't say we ever got to where we didn't miss deep intimacy, but it became redefined and even more fulfilling. He could still melt me with a kiss. I could massage his shoulders and take pleasure in his sighs. Kat, you are so very right. I don't know how anyone can have a nature got touch, has it taken away and keep flourishing. It's been 15 months for me and no matter how much my dogs snuggle and romp on me, I'll always be longing for his touch. I miss his smell too. It's all so very primal, isn't it? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 I too am a tactile person. I think it was after several months that I realized how I missed that. The loss hurt so much that I didn't notice how much I was missing her touch and we touched a lot. I recognized that I was missing that. I would rub lotion on her feet every few days while we watched TV. It was one of those simple pleasures that she loved the most and I realized how I liked it too. That is how I know I miss the tactile touch and when it's taken from our lives, there come a void. I found that having my grandchildren climbing all over me helps a lot but it's not the same truly. I miss more than just that simple touch. It was the intimacy that happens when you love someone. The problem for me is that I just don't want that intimate touch from any other person. I came close to it once and I found it incredibly wrong as if I was thirsty so I drank gasoline. You just know what is right or wrong for you. In the end I have learned to live without and even though it is missed, missing her presence is so much harder and I'm dealing with that for I have no choice. By the way, speaking of primal, the other day I was watching two horses standing head to tail chewing on each others back side. I think it's called "mutual grooming", and I could see how they were conveying to each other what each one wanted. We humans are not much different are we? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 I miss scratching Deedo's head as I read to her at night. I don't know how many books she slept through while I read and scratched. She would doze and then deny having slept but she did love having the top of her head scratched while I read. I still read while I drift off but it isn't the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 9 hours ago, KATPILOT said: By the way, speaking of primal, the other day I was watching two horses standing head to tail chewing on each others back side. I think it's called "mutual grooming", and I could see how they were conveying to each other what each one wanted. We humans are not much different are we? No, we are not. I watch my dogs play and lick each other and envy them. They have their partner. I also know what you mean about being by someone that at one time you might have found attractive and realizing that they could not fill the void you are missing. Something if off. It's like having the best steak and thinking of settling for hamburger. It's not them, they are just not on the menu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Well spoken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now