finding it difficult to get out of bed everyday

[MariesGirl1953]

Hi all - I'm a newbie just joined a few hours ago. I lost my beautiful mam on October 28 last year. It was so sudden and unexpected. Ill do anything to have her back. I want to die and be with her but I have my 4 year old son to look after and I have my husband. I feel. Extremely selfish about having these thoughts... But I don't know what to do... When I usually wake up around 6-7am I'd fall back asleep til maybe 1 or 2 in the afternoon! (I never go to bed early as I usually watch TV. Everything is recorded so I should really be going to bed at a reasonable hour) but I just can't. I'm up everyday with my son for school. But its just I don't have the motivation anymore to actually get out of bed. Be it with or without an alarm. The snooze button is pressed numerous times on my phone and then I eventually turn off the alarm and fall back into a deep sleep. Why am I like this??? I just want to be up early everyday. 7 on school days. 10 on weekends or holidays and no later. Would anyone please have any suggestions as how I can do this? Thanks so much

My mam is my life. I havent even accepted her (I can't believe I'm writing this) *death!* I smoke, and have also began self harming as a way to block OR to *try* deal with the pain I'm in. I'm on anti depressants but they aren't helping at all. I am also on sleeping tablets (1mg) they don't f****** work either... I'm such a mess.... I just want my beautiful mam back. Shes my best friend, my whole life... My everything. She's my sons whole world. She absolutely Adora him and warships the ground he walks on.

She has severe rheumatoid arthritis AMD struggled everyday. She's my everything. I want her back I miss her desperately. It feels like I'm in a horrible nightmare and need to wake up....

[MartyT]

My dear, I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your beloved mother, and you have my heartfelt condolences for your loss. I am concerned that you are "self harming as a way to block or try to deal with the pain" and I strongly urge you to do whatever you can to get some professional help as soon as possible. I hope you will start by reading this article and taking its suggestions to heart:  Finding Grief Support That Is Right for You

Clearly your mam's death is affecting your ability to function, but there is help and support all around you. All you need to do is reach out and ask for it. You took the first step by joining us. Please, please continue on a path to healing by taking the next important step. The article I've cited above will tell you how to do so.

[kayc]

I'm so sorry you lost your mother.  I urge you to talk to your doctor about the self-harming and anti-depressant not helping, what good is medication if it doesn't help?  Of course if you recently went on it, sometimes it takes a month or so to take full affect.

Feeling depressed, lack of purpose, wanting to stay in bed is part of the symptoms of grieving.  Getting a good grief counselor is a good place to start with that, and I hope you're read the link Marty listed for you.

They say six months out is one of the hardest periods for grievers and you're right around that timeline so it's not surprising for how you're feeling.