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If You're Going Through Hell


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I don't think I have any what ifs left anymore, just harsh reality.  Sad that it's changed me that way.  Today is another day of shoveling snow.  I've discovered five different pulled muscles I have from shoveling the dratted stuff, made it hard to sleep night before last, but last night was a little better, my new best friend is Ibuprofen, bad as they say it is for your stomach.  I have no time to worry about my stomach, I'm busy trying to get through today.

Marg, I thought you were going to tell us you bought that house!  :D

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Kay,. don't be too casual about ibuprofen.  Right after Al died, my knee went out!  I took ibuprofen for a few months and became very tired. Ends up the drug evidently caused stomach bleeding and I became extremely anemic.  No stomach pain.  Now, the only pain killer I take is Tylenol, which does not help that much.  Too much Tylenol is no good, either.

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11 hours ago, kayc said:

I don't think I have any what ifs left anymore, just harsh reality.  Sad that it's changed me that way.  Today is another day of shoveling snow.  I've discovered five different pulled muscles I have from shoveling the dratted stuff, made it hard to sleep night before last, but last night was a little better, my new best friend is Ibuprofen, bad as they say it is for your stomach.  I have no time to worry about my stomach, I'm busy trying to get through today.

Marg, I thought you were going to tell us you bought that house!  :D

Epson salt baths and Magnesium oil (Equal parts of Magnesium Chloride flakes and distilled water)  to spray on sore muscle areas.  A warm heating pad also helps. - Shalom

 

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“I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.” 
― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Well, I'm not looking up eglantine or oxlips. Growing up on the road I lived on in North Louisiana, I had all Grandaddy's fields and pasture to roam around in. Crawfish pond. Plum thickets, too many to mention. I wonder if all plum thickets have their little fairy room's because these two thickets had room size spaces in the middle of them. One spring, the one closest to Mammaw's house had a "room" that was a purple carpet of violets and I lay in them, just soaking up the beauty, never thinking of ticks or snakes.

Rode up through a small country community, (not a town, but used to have a school,) today. You know, not to get sad on you, but this is actually my third spring not to have my photographer with me. The last two springs I did not appreciate the flowers, or even really see them. Today, they were beautiful, would have been prettier with my photographer. But, I saw them.  

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13 hours ago, Gin said:

Kay,. don't be too casual about ibuprofen.  Right after Al died, my knee went out!  I took ibuprofen for a few months and became very tired. Ends up the drug evidently caused stomach bleeding and I became extremely anemic.  No stomach pain.  Now, the only pain killer I take is Tylenol, which does not help that much.  Too much Tylenol is no good, either.

Tylenol does nothing for me.  I'm only taking it while my muscles are pulled, they're healing and I've already cut back, I never exceed the recommendation.

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10 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

Epson salt baths and Magnesium oil (Equal parts of Magnesium Chloride flakes and distilled water)  to spray on sore muscle areas.  A warm heating pad also helps. - Shalom

 

I have five different places injured so if I used a heating pad I'd have to switch it around to each of the places and I'd spend all day at it!  I don't have Magnesium Chloride flakes and am snowbound so can't buy any now or I'd try it.  The Epson salt baths I can do!  Also hot showers feel good.

Thanks for the ideas!

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2 hours ago, kayc said:

I have five different places injured so if I used a heating pad I'd have to switch it around to each of the places and I'd spend all day at it!

Kay, my granddaughter has hypothyroidism.  Her temperature regulator is turned off.  She takes the thyroid replacement, and she has her levels checked, but there is still that regulator that won't work.  I will be freezing and she is sweating and needs the ceiling fan on.. Sometimes she needs a sweatshirt in the summer time.  I wear a long sleeved overshirt if the ceiling fan is on in winter..  When I am sweating, she will be ice cold and teeth chattering.  I went to Amazon and got her an electric "throw" blanket.  Like they have the throw blankets at Walmart.  Now, she just throws it off when she gets warm enough.  Ought to cover those five places.  They banned me from anything but Tylenol.  I asked him about the liver damage it does.  He said I would have to take over 11 a day for that to bother my liver.  I still don't trust that many of them.  I prefer aspirin, but of course it will thin the blood and with my Factor IX, I cannot take it.  I do sometimes at night slip in a couple of baby aspirins if I have had a blood pressure headache.  My blood pressure medicine took my heart rate down to the low 60's, so they dismissed the 2nd one.  We can blame all this on age, but my granddaughter is 18.  Mama, in her 80's, became hypothyroid, but Brianna is adopted and must have inherited this young age hypothyroidism from her bio-kinfolks.  

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Hypothyroidism is a real pain to manage.  I’ve had it for years and it does throw off your temp regulator.  I alternate between freezing and burning up.  The hot comes from anxiety.  I find it very hard to get comfortable and that gets maddening quite often.  Like I need help?  The meds for it are tricky too.  Know. Couple people on the weirdest mix that took years to find.  I am still trying.  Every time I try and increase that it mucks with the Xanax.  Funny, it wasn’t a problem til Steve died.  Guess added stress magnifies everything.

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7 hours ago, Marg M said:

Kay, my granddaughter has hypothyroidism.  Her temperature regulator is turned off.  She takes the thyroid replacement, and she has her levels checked, but there is still that regulator that won't work. ...t Brianna is adopted and must have inherited this young age hypothyroidism from her bio-kinfolks.  

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 5 years ago.  The Doctor just said," take these pills".  I did research and found out that the prescription drug they prescribe just tackles one part of the SYMPTOM but does not HEAL the root cause of the issue.  I chose the natural path route and the way I am eating now is actually healing my Hypothyroidism.

The foods we eat, the water we drink and bath in, even enriched breads have changed so that most people are experiencing hypothyroidism.  If you are looking for a solution check out this website.  I have much more information and will share what I have learned and continue. PM me and I will help anyone who is searching and wants to KNOW the CAUSE and the solution.  

https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/

Shalom

 

 

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George, she has had it since not more than a baby.  She is rebelling against red meat and trying to be vegan, but I want her to study it herself before she tries to make any changes.  Doc's could not find anything wrong with GI tract, said she needs braces (teeth are perfect, but might need orthodontics anyhow), no cavities, but still not well.  Could be the thyroid.  Will get her to read up on this.  Thanks.  I have typed too many things associated with thyroid and personally am afraid to recommend stopping it.  I know iodine and selenium are sometimes used, but I do not want to tamper with it until the time she wants to.  They have run tests on her and can find nothing else wrong and tell her it is anxiety and want to give her psychopharmaceuticals and go to a therapist.  She is old enough now to make up her mind about those medications, has tried some from some doctors and does not like the way they make her feel.  So, I will have her talk to her PCP about this.  I think the thyroid is causing different symptoms, but as long as we keep the levels even, until she is old enough to understand all this, will go with the levothyroxine and I am so proud of her for turning down all the new psychopharmaceuticals.  My daughter took the psycho drugs and she has diabetes from one of them.  Yes, that is one side effect of some of the new drugs.  You are wise being your own doctor.  With a little study on it, maybe she will be too.  I don't force anything.  Not even heavily suggest.  I do believe we have to help our doctors along, if they don't understand us, make them or leave them. 

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George, you are always so helpful to people!  I appreciate how you always research things and don't just settle for the pat answers the medical industry throws at us.  They are prompted by convenience and greed and not always what is in our best interest.

I'm down to only taking Ibuprofen 1/2 hour before I go out to shovel and before I go to bed.  Normally I don't take it at all, but this has been a really hard month with snow every day, every night.  It's finally beginning to warm up in the daytime a bit so that is hopeful.  Nights still in the 20s though. 

Marg I have a "throw at each place on the couches, we have always used them and I still have them there even though the kids don't come here any more.  I use mine every night.
I'm kind of wondering if my family didn't get diabetes from Lipitor as everyone in my family has the cholesterol problems regardless of how well they eat.

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A great book to read is "UNDOCTORED" by Dr. William Davis. He has been a medical doctor for over twenty years.  When standard conventional medical protocol was not working with his patients, he began to do his own research.  He also wrote another book, "Wheat Belly" which explains why people seems to have so many medical issues now.  He also follows and recommends his own version of the KETO way of eating. 

After much research I have been following my own version of the ketogenic food plan and way of life for nine months now.  It took me many hours of study and research to determine if this is a legitimate way to get healthy, shed excess weight that I have struggled with most of my entire life.  I haven't done it perfect. I make mistakes and slips yet I am still making progress.

What I have noticed is how my body is healing itself along the way.  My hypothyroidism is gradually disappearing and my body is becoming more normalized. It is amazing how food affects our health, mood, and mental state.  Good healthy sleep habits are another major component that affects our body, Stress, worry, anxiety, thoughts, grief, are all a factor.  Even the water we drink, bath, and shower with.  It all seems so overwhelming...  however..

I have discovered a path.

Dave Ramsey, calls them BABY STEPS. I applied them to my money challenges and even on a limited income I am now DEBT FREE (except my home.. that is next), and I have a six month RAINY DAY(emergency Fund) and I'm now saving for retirement.   It is all a result of follow this simple principle.

FOCUS on ONE thing at a time., with gazelle intensity.  We can do anything for one minute, one hour and one day. I applied it to changing my way of eating and life style... one thing at a time.  

First,  learn about your own strengths.  What stirs you inside to want to change.  I have a great gift of persistence determination, and I just never give up... If there is a will there is a way.  SEEK WISE counsel...

That is why this place is so GREAT for those of us who grieve the loss of our beloved.  There is such love, help and support here.

THANK you, MartyT, and everyone here.

And my gift of always seeking the truth about everything.  I love to study, learn, grow and help others to help themselves.

Doctors mean well. When you find out how they are trained and WHO really trains them you will discover the challenge.  The good news is many doctors are looking at the research and nutrition to discover what is really causing the health problems.  You will be amazed and shocked to discover the truth for those who want to search it.

"If you seek it with your whole heart you will find it".  You can do this. - Shalom

 

 

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Kay, this isn't just a "throw" but like a humongously big heating pad.  Any aches are covered.  She puts a throw underneath the electric "throw" and sometimes one on top.  

Our doctors now are dominated by Big Pharma.  I worked privately for three family practice doctors for many years (along with my regular hospital job).  In the hospital the pharmacy representatives would throw big parties, would finance trips, and we had a closet full of medicines.  I angered one pharmacy representative when I questioned him about the new pain drug.  I asked if it would be given to our cancer patients that got free care.  One was a friend of mine, the boss's sister.  He would ask nothing to help her from his lofty height of being admired for such a wonderful person he was.  She was terminal and hurting.  The pharmacy rep was taken back by my question.  A very expensive medicine, no it would not be given for free.   I remember a moment stamped on my brain forever.  My friend stood in front of her brother's desk and told him  "________, I  hope I live long enough to see you in this much pain" because he would not help her.  She didn't.  This was for all intents and purposes a charity hospital.  In fact, a long ago governor set up this series of hospitals that trained the doctors that went out into private practice, and back then the name was "Charity Hospital."  That name got lost in the translation somewhere.  Then it was called the top college's name in the state.  We did good.  We made money because people came to this hospital for stranger illnesses than mainstream hospitals handled and they had money and insurance, and that gave the hospital enough currency to buy new equipment, etc., until the state got in financial trouble and since this was a state institution, they took the excess money that would have provided more equipment and education.

Mama was right, sometimes you can't fight city hall.

But, I definitely think you need to ask questions.  You need to be a partner in your own care.  You don't like something they are doing, then you get a second opinion, or you question them.  But, don't be surprised if you hurriedly are dismissed because each session is timed for 15 minutes.  More patients seen, more money.  That is how it works now.  Marty's dad was a doctor, from the time they remembered their oath, the ones we see now are assembly line doc's.    

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I strongly advice yoga practise. I am not the yoga type of person (fitness, flexible, vegetarian, philosophical). But you don't need to be any of that to start. My job is a desk computer type. My neck was hurting and after a while it didn't hurt, because it was already contracted and damaged. My wrists and low back were in pain too. Headaches started, no pills were enough. Against my will and with a dose of sckepticism, I went to yoga. I felt the results a year later. My neck is doing better and when it doesnt, my body sends an alarm right away to get me back on track. With yoga, and surely with any excersice, you realise how bad you were before. And about grief, with yoga you have to learn to stay focused on what you are doing, and for an hour your thoughts are somewhere else.

 

 

 

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Sharing, via a post on Kevin MD:

Here are some things that patients wish doctors knew

R. LYNN BARNETT | PATIENT | MARCH 2, 2018

We’re not here for the magazines. We’re here because we’re sick, which often means we’re scared too.

We’re often embarrassed. You’re wearing clothes. We’re wearing a paper sack. Please be aware of that.

We know germs can thrive in a warm environment, but so can patients. There has to be a happy medium between killing the germs while not killing the patient. I don’t want to be adrift in a draft, if you get my drift.
As bad as your day might be, ours is not going great either; otherwise, we’d be at work, at school, on the tennis court, etc., and not crossing the threshold into a doctor’s office.

Your staff should not be the guard protecting you. They should relay our messages. We rely on that. If you, as a receptionist or nurse, tell me that the doctor doesn’t have time to see me, and then the doctor calls me at night, not knowing that I had been in the office, their cover is blown. Your staff reflects you.  Read on here >>>

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2 hours ago, MartyT said:

We’re often embarrassed. You’re wearing clothes. We’re wearing a paper sack. Please be aware of that.

I have to put this.  I have been through treatment, often inhuman treatment for cancer.  I cannot describe the fear of having internal canisters of radiation placed up inside me for 72 hours each time, being asked not to move, something given to make you not go to the bathroom for 3 days, plus a catheter and you get to see no family because your treatment is so dangerous only  hazmat uniforms can administer aid to you.  This was just bottom of the list.  The girl in the room with me was a surgeon's daughter from large town KY.  Newly married.  No children.  At least I had 20+ years of marriage and two kids.  Her husband went MIA.  Doubt they lasted.  Other things done necessary to save my life.  It did.

Skip ahead 32 years and results of that radiation, all a body could take, happens.  That hospital saved my life, I should be thankful.  Can you picture a half a butchered cow lying on a table with lights all over it?  Interventional radiology had me stripped naked, a side of beef with people coming in and out the door.  No paper sack to cover me. I had to have a tube placed in a very private place, not even a drape over my naked body.  All I could do was have silent tears and think "not any of you would put your mother in this kind of indignity."  There could have been a drape or something.  I am alive because of them but the nightmare of this humiliating affront lives with me still.  

And as we have all attested to, it still is not as bad as watching our loved ones leave us, waking up and they were gone. 

Marty, is it okay to make a copy of the above (the note that you sent) and send it to a few doctors I know?

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I don't own the copyright to the article, Marg ~ but if you copy it from the Kevin MD blog exactly as written and include the author and the source, I certainly don't see why you cannot send it to a few doctors whom you know. It's not as if you're trying to publish it as if you've written it yourself. And by the way, your horrid experience reminds me of one of my own, when I was 14 years old and being placed in a body cast for scoliosis. I had no idea what to expect, no one explained it to me, and I lay on a frame with nothing under me but a thin strap and nothing covering me but a "stocking," as a male med student stood at my bare feet, pulling on my bare ankles, while another wrapped my naked body in strips of hot, wet plaster of Paris. I was terrified, and I felt totally exposed and vulnerable. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I guess we both have nightmarish, humiliating memories that haunt us. And I agree with you: none of those are as bad as watching our loved ones leave us . . .  

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The girl that was in the room with me at M.D. Anderson, through both radiation ordeals, she had not begun to live.  She was barely out of her teens.  Her grandmother also had had her kind of cancer, as mine had.  Marty, I am sorry something that horrible happened to you as a teenager.  This girl's dad was a doctor also.  He and her mother were right with her.  The husband went back to KY.  I met him and she will be good if she is rid of him.  Her parents were so kind.  She was a pretty debutante type, probably was, and I was almost 40.  I felt I had to be brave for her and besides, neither of us had a choice.  We kept in touch a couple of years, but after my other friend passed away two years later, we kind of lost touch.  My sister had the cancer, had a hysterectomy, and nothing ever mentioned again.  They handled her radiation in the hospital up here just at short intervals in the day and she drove herself to and from treatments.  I'll bet they do not treat your scoliosis the same way now either.  I had a hematologist that had a heart.  He was Billy's doctor for awhile, a short while, too short.  But I didn't want him to suffer.

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14 hours ago, Marg M said:

And as we have all attested to, it still is not as bad as watching our loved ones leave us, waking up and they were gone.

I just found out that crumb bum left my daughter again.  Under all this stress, she then had a car accident.  That's why she hasn't called lately, she can't talk about it even yet.

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I'm sorry Kay.  She needs in touch with the one person who could understand.  Sometimes, we prefer to be by ourselves in times of grief.  She knows she can reach out to you, she knows you would understand.  Please just let her know once again.  I know she is a private person, some of us understand that too.  We all handle things differently.  After so many years with her husband, she needs time, that I know you give her.  I wish she would reach out.  Her most sympathetic friend right now would be you.  

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I watch the Academy Awards every year.  I have done this since they had them on my 17 inch black and white when I was a tween.  Tonight Eva Marie Saint awarded an Oscar.  Mind you, she is 93-years-old, had a long speech, did not falter, and had time to pay tribute to her husband of 65 years that she lost December 26, 2016.  I read an interview with her after she lost him.  She had read Joan Didion's book "The Year of Magical Thinking."  (I did too).  I just think it remarkable that her mind is so sharp, and sad that her mind has to feel the loss we all feel.  We all grieve tremendously no matter how long, how many milestones we pass, for the moments we remember, for the moments we did not get to share, for the things we did not get to experience, and for the plans we all still had, even at 93, or even 75.  My heart was with her.  We all feel the pain of loss of half our life.  They used to get up and read the paper together.  Billy would get the coffee ready and I would turn it on because I always got up first.  I introduced him to honey in his coffee.  We were never selfish people with our children but that was one thing they did not touch, our coffee honey.  I would carry him coffee to bed.  I still drink coffee but it is not the same.........of course not.

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I've known Don for 19 years, I knew him even before she did because he worked at the mill where I was Office Mgr.  You think you know somebody.  He's emotionally arrested at the age of 18, meaning he's young and immature even though chronologically he'll be turning 37 in June.  He needs intensive counseling to figure out why and bring him along, but he won't go get it.  I see no hope for him as long as he's continuing on this path.  What he doesn't understand is that the young immature people he wants to hang out with are going to age and mature eventually and pretty soon the young people won't be so accepting of him as he reaches forties, fifties, and beyond.  He's going to become a sad and lonely person filled with a life of regrets.  

I saw my daughter yesterday, I didn't mention Don.  I didn't mention that he's now established a pattern and that she cannot trust him.  She will figure everything out in her own time and way and make her own decisions.  She was telling me about a friend of hers whose partner is emotionally abusing her, cheating on her, and I said, "Eventually you reach the point where you feel, 'Just leave me the hell alone, go find your Bimbo and leave me in peace.'"  She agreed and I couldn't help but feel she was speaking for herself not just her friend.  I know because I reached that point in my horrid first marriage.  A person can only take so much.  My husband beat on me, cheated on me, left me, so many times that when I saw his car in the driveway full of his belongings, I had to consciously stop and think whether he was moving back in or moving back out.  And I wanted out.  I wanted left alone, but he was violent and had threatened to kill me and I had every reason to believe that he would.  Back in those days the law did nothing.  I remember when a neighbor called the cops when he was beating on me yet again, he wasn't even living with me at the time, and one of the cops peered past him into the house, looked directly at me, and said, "What did YOU do to cause this?!"  I knew enough to know there'd be no help coming from them.  There was no women's shelters in those days.  I couldn't go to family and invite trouble there, my dad had heart trouble, I didn't want him having a heart attack over it.  I took and took it until I finally reached the point I'd rather be dead than live like this anymore, and then I left.  I had a lawyer, got a restraining order, it did no good, he broke it repeatedly and the law did nothing about it.  He shot himself in a ploy to try to manipulate me into coming back.  He ended up in the Psych ward and his Psychologist called me and wanted me to come see him. I told him he'd threatened to kill me and I wasn't going to let him manipulate me with his ploys any longer.  I told him he sent flowers to my office one day, sent his 18 year old girlfriend in with my family's pictures all torn up but his family's left intact in our photo album the next day, then he shot himself, what next?  I didn't care what next, I wasn't giving in to it.  His Psychologist told me "You are a cold woman."  Really?!  And he didn't deserve his degree.  I hung up.  At least Melissa doesn't have the physical abuse, but Lord knows the emotional abuse is even harder to take.  You can't have physical without the emotional.  I have hearing loss due to his abuse.  My daughter's childbearing years are passing her by while she's been trying to make it work with this man.  For everything I know about their situation, there's another 90% I don't know, I do know that.  I carried my problems silently too.  She knows I understand, she knows I'm here for her.  I told her I believe in her to make the best decisions she can and I will be here for her in any way she needs.  I told her to get her wheel alignment checked and that I have an account at Les Schwab Tires she can put it on if she needs it.  I can't imagine her car taking the hit it did without needing wheel alignment.  She has car insurance but doesn't have the $500 deductible, I told her I'd pay it.  My son said it's hardly worth it for cosmetic (he feels she'll have another accident because of her stress level), I'll leave that up to her.  If her insurance doesn't have to pay out they shouldn't raise her rates so I suppose that's a consideration to her.

Darn, why does life have to be like this for some people?  I went through my hard years, it's all had it's part in shaping and molding me.  I wouldn't make some of the decisions I've made again and yet God's used it all in making me who I am, I know that.  You never want that for your kids though, but here we are.  I guess this is where it belongs, in the Going through Hell section.

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I think your daughter is blessed to have you as her mom, dear Kay. She will find her own way through this, with you always at her side. That's a whole lot more than you had when you were in her shoes. I know how hard it is to see our grown kids in pain. We cannot protect them from all of it, but we certainly can stand beside them as they face it, and support them and love them as they endure it. I can't think of a better person to be in your daughter's corner than you.

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4 hours ago, kayc said:

I've known Don for 19 years, I knew him even before she did because he worked at the mill where I was Office Mgr.  You think you know somebody.  He's emotionally arrested at the age of 18, meaning he's young and immature even though chronologically he'll be turning 37 in June.  He needs intensive counseling to figure out why and bring him along, but he won't go get it.  I see no hope for him as long as he's continuing on this path.  What he doesn't understand is that the young immature people he wants to hang out with are going to age and mature eventually and pretty soon the young people won't be so accepting of him as he reaches forties, fifties, and beyond.  He's going to become a sad and lonely person filled with a life of regrets.  

I saw my daughter yesterday, I didn't mention Don.  I didn't mention that he's now established a pattern and that she cannot trust him.  She will figure everything out in her own time and way and make her own decisions.  She was telling me about a friend of hers whose partner is emotionally abusing her, cheating on her, and I said, "Eventually you reach the point where you feel, 'Just leave me the hell alone, go find your Bimbo and leave me in peace.'"  She agreed and I couldn't help but feel she was speaking for herself not just her friend.  I know because I reached that point in my horrid first marriage.  A person can only take so much.  My husband beat on me, cheated on me, left me, so many times that when I saw his car in the driveway full of his belongings, I had to consciously stop and think whether he was moving back in or moving back out.  And I wanted out.  I wanted left alone, but he was violent and had threatened to kill me and I had every reason to believe that he would.  Back in those days the law did nothing.  I remember when a neighbor called the cops when he was beating on me yet again, he wasn't even living with me at the time, and one of the cops peered past him into the house, looked directly at me, and said, "What did YOU do to cause this?!"  I knew enough to know there'd be no help coming from them.  There was no women's shelters in those days.  I couldn't go to family and invite trouble there, my dad had heart trouble, I didn't want him having a heart attack over it.  I took and took it until I finally reached the point I'd rather be dead than live like this anymore, and then I left.  I had a lawyer, got a restraining order, it did no good, he broke it repeatedly and the law did nothing about it.  He shot himself in a ploy to try to manipulate me into coming back.  He ended up in the Psych ward and his Psychologist called me and wanted me to come see him. I told him he'd threatened to kill me and I wasn't going to let him manipulate me with his ploys any longer.  I told him he sent flowers to my office one day, sent his 18 year old girlfriend in with my family's pictures all torn up but his family's left intact in our photo album the next day, then he shot himself, what next?  I didn't care what next, I wasn't giving in to it.  His Psychologist told me "You are a cold woman."  Really?!  And he didn't deserve his degree.  I hung up.  At least Melissa doesn't have the physical abuse, but Lord knows the emotional abuse is even harder to take.  You can't have physical without the emotional.  I have hearing loss due to his abuse.  My daughter's childbearing years are passing her by while she's been trying to make it work with this man.  For everything I know about their situation, there's another 90% I don't know, I do know that.  I carried my problems silently too.  She knows I understand, she knows I'm here for her.  I told her I believe in her to make the best decisions she can and I will be here for her in any way she needs.  I told her to get her wheel alignment checked and that I have an account at Les Schwab Tires she can put it on if she needs it.  I can't imagine her car taking the hit it did without needing wheel alignment.  She has car insurance but doesn't have the $500 deductible, I told her I'd pay it.  My son said it's hardly worth it for cosmetic (he feels she'll have another accident because of her stress level), I'll leave that up to her.  If her insurance doesn't have to pay out they shouldn't raise her rates so I suppose that's a consideration to her.

Darn, why does life have to be like this for some people?  I went through my hard years, it's all had it's part in shaping and molding me.  I wouldn't make some of the decisions I've made again and yet God's used it all in making me who I am, I know that.  You never want that for your kids though, but here we are.  I guess this is where it belongs, in the Going through Hell section.

Oh Kayc:  What a story.  You have been through hell and it's got to be so hard watching your daughter going through it.  My heart goes out to you.....you are such a caring, wonderful and supportive person.....Cookie

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